I decided to quit chess tonight. Just can't seem to recover my old groove. Chess at the higher levels, in my case defined as 1800+ online, requires enormous intellectual resources, at least for me. I'm not the sort that can pull good moves out of thin air with little effort. I recall a bartender who could do so. He could work the bar and play outstanding chess at the same time, and it was quite humbling to see how fast his mind worked. He beat me playing the Danish on one game, because I didn't remember when to make the d5 pawn sacrifice, and King's Gambit on another, but I finally beat him with the Grob, which he had never seen before. That made me feel a little bit better, but then again I was concentrating on the game, and he had customers to serve.
Right now, I feel taxed by my job-hunting activities and other serious matters that are consuming much of my thinking power, and that is only right. A better game for me is Dungeon Crawl, because it's more forgiving and less exact, especially with good old regen.bat backing up my saved games for me.
Truth is, even if I were to play master-level chess, which I can't do, but for the sake of argument if I were, it would get me nowhere. Chess is a big zero in terms of rewards. I don't even much care for other chess players that I encounter in chess clubs and online. They tend to be antisocial to put it mildly. Of course I've got a bit of that too. But at least I don't cuss out people that defeat me, or abort games just because I didn't get the white pieces, or cheat in a game, accuse the winner of cheating, or crow when I'm winning or have won, or announce that all liberals need to be shot, or declare that liberals are traitors, all things that I've observed other chessplayers doing in chess clubs and online. Chessplayers as a whole tend to be more conservative than other sorts of people, in every sense of the word from style of dress to speech and views about society and politics. I've gotten banned from an online chess site just for playing the Grob, which is a ridiculous thing for a mod to do, because FIDE never ruled 1. g4 was an illegal move.
How'd I get into chess in the first place? I didn't seek it out, but it sought me out, so to speak. My brother and father were enthusiasts, so I naturally got recruited into playing around the age of five or so. It is a fascinating game, but one quickly finds his plateau. For me it seems to be around 1800 or so, if I limit myself to playing when I'm fully energized and in prime condition. I think I'll call that good enough and move on to other pastimes--if I even find the time for pastimes anymore.
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