Recovery

Humans tend to be quite poor influences upon each other, actually. They lead one another, not to wisdom, but to materialism and its brothers, anger and greed. That is the main problem with socializing. Recovery time is needed after exposure to some humans, who are toxic. Even the mere sight or sound of some of them can be toxic. Drinkers, addicts, full of arrogance, anger, contempt, greed, lust, and cool indifference to anything except triggers for greed or anger. One creates buffer zones, shelters away from others. Facebook, et al are not very interesting because they inflict people upon one another, when people are already getting more than enough of each other. Who really wants or needs instant updates of every Joe, Dick, and Harry, or chat mode for that matter? What is lost to people of this era is communication with that which is eternal, and it is best expressed in silence.

Yep, Alcohol's Bad

In what should come as a surprise to no one, scientists are discovering new ways alcohol wrecks the body and mind. Every day I scan the headlines, and almost every day a new horror is uncovered with alcohol as the author. Either new research, new disease, or some new crime from an inebriated loser.

Yes, those who get inebriated are losers, because they are losing this world and lowering themselves to a lesser spiritual plane than this one, and this one is not all that great, to begin with.

One of my life's regrets is that I ever got habituated to the drinking of alcohol. Unfortunately, I found myself at a vulnerable age unprepared to cope with the stresses and pressures of school and sought solace in the bottle and to a lesser extent marijuana, which was always hard to come by and extremely risky to indulge in, because the entire nation was hysterical over "The War on Drugs," not the least my parents, who waged constant war over the use of marijuana. I think the wars and conflicts only exasperated the problem, by making it all seem like an issue of freedom versus totalitarianism. The irony, of course, is that now I do voluntarily, and with great zeal and enthusiasm, prosecute the strictures of complete and total abstinence from all inebriating substances, whereas before, when every punishment was levied and endless battles, physical and psychological and spiritual, were waged against me, I prevailed to continue in what I perceived as my own prerogative. Forever, people suppose they can control others, and perhaps they are able to control slaves, those without a strong spirit. But not everyone responds to the cycle of endless punishments.

The question arises, why did not anyone care to give me guidance or instruction, as to alternatives to drinking? Well, that is a complicated question. Of course alternatives were given from many directions, but an adolescent mind filters out almost everything quite effectively except for the ignorance prevailing among peers. It is probably not such a good idea to herd people of the same age group together all the time, because there is a lack of wisdom and a prevalence of ignorance.

At any rate, the result is not one I can fully understand. I do not know how exactly my life would have turned out any differently, had I never drank. Probably, I would have been more successful, if even slightly so. Maybe I would have merely performed better from time to time at various tasks and in various roles. Maybe the difference would have been slight. I did not drink to great excess, but I have found that even a bit is bad, definitely bad. The main problem is that the lower thoughts are allowed to surface, rather than remaining checked as they would be under normal sobriety.

Certainly, drinking is not the worst vice. I find Trump remarkable by his abstinence from alcohol, because he acts like a man that downs a quart of whiskey a day. Some people just are attuned to the lower impulses by nature. Just imagine Trump if he did drink.

Normal people find it difficult or impossible to give up what they view as light, moderate or occasional drinking. They only have a few glasses of wine at a party, what's the harm? Well, if that is the case, continue on, I say, and don't worry about me. If however, you do perceive to be lessened by your consumption of alcohol, and wonder how it is possible to give it up, then my secret is well-known. As a matter of fact, it is revealed by Alcoholics Anonymous. I am not a member, because I do not gain anything by joining groups of any kind. The secret is merely to have something in the way of spirituality, to replace one irrational practice with another. I find that this is not difficult, and why? Because I feel joy in the spirit. Great, blissful, mind-expanding and soul-expanding joy. Now, those who have not tried it or who have tried it and not felt anything like this will wonder what I am talking about. One just has to find the right practice that suits one's spiritual needs. The human race has laid out a rich and varied buffet with many aromatic dishes consisting of religions, philosophies, and various types of belief systems. So, examine what is offered by our forefathers, and choose one that suits. Be slow to choose and careful to evaluate.

I rank religions in terms of their appeal to me. Some are at zero, no appeal at all. Others are close to a "10". There are many in the middle. Very likely, the first choice is in the middle somewhere. Later, you may grow disenchanted and drift to something else. That happens sometimes, and it is okay. Not every faith is for everybody. I think that many ways are intended to suit many different personalities. The trouble with religions has always been when they try to control other people, including people that are not even a part of their religion. That brings trouble. But otherwise, if coexistence is possible, then everybody can be happy, or as happy as human beings ever can be.

Some religions, particularly those described as "conservative" or "strict", require life-long adherence, and when I say require, I mean that sanctions are imposed against apostates. Indeed, the Muslims in many countries are known for killing, harming or otherwise censuring those among their faith that stray to other belief systems such as atheism. I regard that as a spiritual crime and oppose compulsion in spiritual matters. Using force to control others points to spiritual emptiness, because if there was anything of spirit in a practice, no compulsion would be necessary at all. In many Muslim countries, people are killed or tortured for insignificant and irrelevant infractions against the majority religion. This is due to barbarism and ignorance, and I point it out because so many writers avoid doing so. If evil is not pointed out, then it becomes assumed to be good, and human beings can easily get things wrong. A religion becomes debased and wrong when it is used to justify acts of evil, this is what ultimately discredits a religion--not the apostates nor the atheists, but the ones harming the apostates and the atheists, because by harming, they make a lie of all that is in their religion.

Aristocracy

Aristocracy survives and thrives today, although titles have evolved from "Baron" and "Duke" to Vice-President and CEO. Humans repeat the same basic structures. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Don't Know Much

I read, see and hear, sometimes with envy, other times with admiration, folk that are doing much better than I, in the sense of achieving. More eloquent, more beautiful, more intense, stronger, smarter, or more skilled, or perhaps (Heaven forbid!) all of the above. Well, there's a ranking system everywhere, and no one is exempt. Even the strong must, in time, compare themselves to the stronger and come up short. There are comparisons to be made, not just among the current cohort, but with the dead greats (not to be confused with the Grateful Dead) such as Shakespeare and so on. There are comparisons to be made, finally, with computers, with other animals and finally, with the Divine, besides which no mortal can truly compare. This, then, is a meditation on Humility. 'Tis well to be humble, because even the finest form among us pales before the Divine. Then, too, there is the annoying fact we are dust, most of us, before we reach triple digits in years. I expect to be joining the boneyard in about the next thirty years or so, if I'm lucky.

New problems? No, old.

With so many negative headlines about crimes, violence, corruption, cheating, lying, stealing, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, police brutality, incivility, and so on, one might be tempted to despair about the world, society, or the age we live in. Let me be clear, that is a temptation sent by none other than the Devil, if you will. Not that I really believe in a Devil, but he certainly is a convenient chap by way of conversation.

Resist the temptation! Our age is no worse than any other. Our society, rather better, I would think. Our nation, we have a right to be proud of, next to the likes of ugly China or rotting Russia. Be proud! I do not endorse the "bended knee" thing among NFL players for the reason that it just seems too trendy and not thoughtful enough.

Think back to forty years ago, to 1978, please. Back then, police did not wear body cameras, nor did their dashboards host cameras, nor did any of the rooms in the police department or even the courtroom. Judges, police and civil servants largely did as they liked, and sometimes got away with it. Criminals of all stripes got away with a great many things in 1978. Bullies could beat the crap out of weaker kids. I know, I saw it happen. Teachers could say whatever nasty thing popped into their little head and get away with it, and often they could slap, hit or fondle a student and get away with it. Folks got away with stealing, lying, cheating, even killing, and there are headlines and news articles about such things.

There is not more crime now, there is less. Crime has gotten to be far more difficult to get away with. Criminals tend to be apprehended far more often than in 1978. There is less racism, less homophobia, less xenophobia, less ignorance and stupidity in the public arena. Of course there are going to be exceptions, but one must remember, these exceptions used to be the norm.

You have to admit, things are getting better. They are getting better all the time.

Megyn Kelly

Megyn Kelly has had an interesting career, to say the least, and is an interesting celebrity. Long was she derided as a "dumb blonde" by leftists, but Jon Stewart was one of the first to acknowledge that she is actually bright, a violinist in fact. First she was at Fox News, then when the sex scandal blew up over there, she moved to Fox's nemesis, NBC, which has been a bit of a culture shock for her to say the least. Comments that would barely raise eyebrows on Fox are grounds for dismissal on NBC. It is true, there is intolerance on the left for certain words and phrases. I guess it is because the assumption is that highly privileged, wealthy, highly educated and well-informed celebrities should know better than to behave in any sexist or racist manner and that everything they do is calculated. Megyn Kelly earns enough money, she could hire a sociologist full-time to keep her informed about history, culture and society. I think, however, that celebrities remain like us--human beings. Generally, I would say, give the benefit of the doubt, and at least impose a three-strikes rule. Strike one, warning. Strike two, suspension. Only on strike three, dismissal. Something like that. However, in the celebrity world (as in the world of us little people!) enemies are always on the lookout for any sign of weakness, the slightest faltering, and ready to swoop in and replace you at a moment's notice. Ruthlessness and cuthroatery! There are plenty of aspiring young actresses that would love to earn twenty-three million dollars a year talking on the television. Wow, work for a year, you're set for life!

On a personal level, I am willing to overlook comments and phrases, in the first place because we all have to, as they are commonplace. I can't begin to count the number of non-PC comments I have heard in the workplace and everywhere else. Everyone is just muddling through this strange and complicated experience we call life. The people grope for simple answers, and what is simpler than black and white? A charming simplicity, as though skin color meant anything at all. For the same reason, people buy one brand of cereal over another, because the box is green instead of red, and they don't like the color red. On a similar level, many Jamaicans, who are black, discriminate against, even hate (!), LGBT individuals, even though they may not know any on a personal level. I read an article the other day written by a Jamaican lesbian who said she was scared to death to come out to her family, because she is certain they would disown her, as they disowned her lesbian cousin. So, all kinds of ignorance and prejudice are commonplace, and certainly white folk don't have a monopoly on it. What we all do have is a responsibility, as human beings, to strive toward the light, to try and get ourselves better, to understand more fully. Some people just don't make the effort, don't feel like it is worth bothering with.

Is it so, as often repeated, that "Love is the answer?" Or as is sometimes put, "Love is the law, the only law?"

No, I think love is overrated, myself. A lot of people don't want any love. They just want to be left alone. Perhaps there is a better word to choose, if one is crafting a law describing moral conduct. Noninterference? A Libertarian law.

Butterfly

A butterfly shows the difference between human beings.

Some encounter a butterfly and admire its beauty.

Others rip the wings off to watch it suffer.

Prayer

I have come to the conclusion that a prayer-less world is not necessarily a desirable one for human beings. There is comfort and consolation to be had in prayer that cannot be gotten from other human beings so well and certainly not on the Internet!

If one is atheist and places great value on being consistent, logical, and rational, and yet, has a habit of drinking or of using drugs, then an accusation presents itself. J'accuse! You are already engaged in an irrational habit, these twelve-ounce curls you do every day with a can of beer, detrimental to body and/or mind. Why, then, should you avoid prayer, which is equally irrational, yet not in any way detrimental to health? Indeed, there have been numerous studies indicating that prayer has measurable benefits to body and mind. That, to me, was quite persuasive when I read it, and I have found through direct experience that genuine, unforced, sincere prayer is extremely satisfying, wholesome and beneficial. The trouble with prayer and with religion when growing up was it was forced. Church was compulsion, Sundays were forced attendance, and even one of my high school teachers forced us to pray. Religion can become drudgery, tedium, an object of contempt. Some people take that which is beautiful and precious and twist it until it is horrible beyond recognition. They present God as a projection of their dark self, a Punisher, a Tormenter, a Torturer, vindicative, vengeful and ruthless. That reflects their own nature only, not the nature of the most high. Such lies and distortions get in the way of spirituality and must be discarded.

China is crazy, radical atheist, and seems bent on realizing the dystopia of "1984", with state surveillance of everyone and thought control. It is difficult to see the charm in a completely atheistic viewpoint. The fact remains, gods are fun, and not believing is just negation, it doesn't offer half the fun of believing or at least, suspending disbelief.

Spirituality evolved to help an intelligent, thinking mind adapt to the pressures and the stresses brought on by knowledge. Of course, knowledge is not all good. There is a huge downside. We know, for instance, quite well that we will grow old and die. That is a terrible knowledge to have. We know that we are bound to worry and fear from cradle to grave. We worry about health, first of all, our own and our loved ones. We worry about losing money, losing friends, losing loved ones. All of these fears, doubts and stresses are really brought on by knowledge and intelligence. If we were only stupider! It sounds funny, but if we were stupid like the animals, our blessed stupidity would make us perfectly immune to worrying about death or indeed, worrying about tomorrow at all.

Prayer allows one the luxury of working as a team, that is, in conjunction with that which is good, with God or the gods, whichever one prefers. No, I do not believe there is only one way, one correct doctrine or theology. I have my opinion, other people have theirs, but in the end, we are fallible, and may both be right somehow. That is not a very satisfying answer to rigid binary thinkers that want to know exact answers to everything. Learn to deal with ambiguity! The mysteries are all about ambiguity. That is why they are named such. The first and best virtue is to be humble. Every day, we are reminded, each of us in our own way, of our essential humanity, when we go to the bathroom to perform the necessary. So, live and let live, is the guiding principle, and I think God or the gods, howsoever one wishes to approach the Divine, both understand and endorse tolerance in religion, provided, of course, that YE HARM NONE.

The only real doctrine I think is mandatory is harm none, which seems to me quite a reasonable law to apply to all belief systems under the Sun. Nor harm thyself. Now when we see the radical Islamists go off and torture some poor wretch, for instance, that leads me to condemn radical Islam, and in general I don't like the punitive and oppressive laws that are found in many Muslim countries. I think sometimes religion gets a big head and wants to intrude into public and private affairs too much, and that is inappropriate. Each thing in its proper place, is the way to go. If the Muslims wish to worship a certain way, fine and dandy, but don't stop the selling of pork in the marketplace, or cut off people's hands if they shoplift a pack of gum. I would not wish to live in Iran or Saudi Arabia.

High School was a Low Point

Regular beatings and humiliation were a fact of daily life my freshman year at high school. It was just an ordinary high school, not a military one, but I think in many ways it was run like a military school, with strict rules and regimens. The main instigator was a twisted sociopath in P.E., and he was encouraged and enabled by the teacher. The drill-sergeant approach to education is claimed to work for some, perhaps, more or less, but didn't work out so well in my case. Does that mean that I was "weak" and another, ideal specimen was "strong" to thrive in a violent, abusive environment? Are regular beatings good for people? Some do think so, whether they will admit it or not, but perhaps they should try it out for themselves sometime, on the receiving end, that is. Then poll their opinion after they have received a good dose. I imagine that "boot camp" is meant to prepare one for war by lowering ones threshold for pain, lowering ones morality and reducing inhibitions. If we are at war, fine, maybe that is a necessary evil indeed, but if not, is it necessary? How much violence is really needed in the world?

I am reminded of what I endured by what some people are dredging up into the news media ten, twenty, thirty years after the fact, or longer. It seems to me that the only difference between these ancient cases and mine is that I was never confronted with someone else's genitals. That seems like a minor point next to a year's worth of physical and psychological abuse. Basically, abuse was a part of the system in school, it was normal and accepted everyday life for a lot of students. Survival of the fittest was the philosophy. No one really cared, the atmosphere was highly competitive and no one would pick you up if you fell--more likely, kick you in the ribs. The result, well, I think I have done about as well as I could with this life, given the sort of start I had. If I had to do things over, I would have set my mind to figuring out a way to avoid the dreadful high school I went to. It was a waste of time, not helpful in any way, and not educational in the slightest. I would have been much better off simply being locked in a library for eight hours a day. In a library, I would have absorbed the knowledge of the world and emerged in four years knowing a lot about a lot. School taught nothing, except people are morons, brutes and liars. That was the basic lesson, drilled daily, with tests all the time, and God help you if you forgot. Although, God wasn't around, because the Church just sold a whole load of generalities and called it spirituality. Whatever. Church never seemed satisfying to me and never made me feel even slightly closer to divinity.

Now, I finally know what education really is. Education is learning on your own, by yourself, at your own pace, fast or slow. I finally know what spirituality is. Spirituality is having a personal relationship with the greater powers, free of nonsense and window-dressing, just plain, straight-up communion, guided by common sense and a desire for that which is good.

The two criminals, that violent sociopath and the P.E. teacher that always turned a blind eye or, when he noticed, opted to blame the victim, succeeded in their objective, if their goal was to cost me a lot of suffering and lost time, lost future wages and lost prospects. They achieved their dark victory. If there is justice in the Universe, if Karma is real, as Donald Michael Kraig fervently believes, judging by his opinions in "Modern Magick," then their payback for their sins would be great. I myself rather doubt the existence of karma, based on what we know about various historical figures. Good does not always prosper, not is evil always vanquished or punished in any way. Sometimes good people are harmed with impunity, and evil-doers enjoy their lives to the very end of their days. I think rather that Karma is a useful construct, make-believe, that Kraig and many other would-be philosophers like to indoctrinate their students with in the hope and the prayer of spreading goodness and light through the world. But I don't really believe in Policeman Karma watching and weighing rights and wrongs and sanctioning wrong-doers. Would it were so, but alas, the Universe does seem oblivious to the cries of humble folk. I think we are regarded by divinity, if at all, in the same light as ants and bees, as pixels in a greater picture, and that what happens to us in this lifetime is not really evaluated, but kind of left up to chance.

I learned in high school, the villains seize fun and pleasure and get away with it, and those that harm none can suffer for a long time. It was kind of a reverse morality lesson, learning evil in school. My moral instructors were the bully and the P.E. teacher. It took years to unlearn those lessons. That is about the summit of what happened in high school. Not, in my opinion, a judicious use of taxpayer dollars. Did the P.E. teacher earn his salary? No. Where was karma? Missing in action. I did not even think about karma in those days, because I had a more traditional view of the Universe. I thought, where is God? I did not observe any hints of true Christianity in school. Maybe a number of students professed Christianity, that is, if you asked them, oh sure, even been born again and all that jazz, but it was like brand-name clothing they wore to boast and brag about their piety. Now P.E. was a pretty big class, over thirty of my peers, and they knew exactly what was going on, every one of them, they witnessed him and me. Not a word nor an action. Their indifference did not pass unmarked by me. Indeed it was taken into consideration in order to form a worldview. That is what happens in youth, forming of the worldview. Now, my worldview has evolved since then, for sure, for the better, I think. But then I thought, this world is evil, all are evil. In darkness man dwells. And many a time, I thought to open my veins.

What stayed my hand? Why did I choose to remain in this world? I think memories of happier times, a vague notion that "This, too, shall pass," and my inner optimism. Certainly I am pleased that my younger self did not take any drastic action. It was true, life did get better. I got out of that hell-hole school, did much better in college where I was freer and more independent and not forced to sit in assigned seating in some stupid P.E. class with a stupid know-nothing instructor. I was able to make a living and be independent, and that is good enough for me.

The concept of Karma does interest me. I really want to believe in it, a just Universe, but you know, setting my own personal hell-story aside, along with all my own personal experiences, just crack open a history book. What the hell kind of karma did the victors of every war receive for all their killing and destruction? Certainly plenty of generals and dictators have gone on to enjoy a cushy retirement. Look at Napoleon, for one. You can say Russia was karma, and I would reply, karma for his troops, while Napoleon himself went on to stir up trouble the next ten years and eventually idle his remaining days in exile.

Sing a Song of Sobriety

I am proud of being sober.

True, it is a modest accomplishment. People like my mother thought nothing of it. To her, sobriety came naturally, was a done deal, always active. Sobriety is not a positive good, per se. It is merely the absence of a vice.

H. Sapiens, including many people I know and many people we read about in the media, has a huge problem with drinking in particular and also other drugs. That is why I am proud to be sober, because other folks aren't. I can look at them and think, well, I'm better off, wiser, stronger, etc. In reality, perhaps, just a modicum. It is a small thing. Perhaps I have grown ambitious. I want to find more in this life, see more meaning, and I see no meaning in a bottle, none at all. I see the desire for death in the bottle, and it seems to me, so many people are weary of this mortal coil, and in their hearts wish to fade and disappear, to which end, drinking serves like rocket fuel. For the thinking mind gets retarded by the progress of alcohol, and base animals we become under its influence.

To drink is irrational. Upon accepting that drinking is harmful, the mind must solve a riddle, why drink at all? Everywhere, at many social functions, drinks are offered, and booze is easy to come by, plentiful. Temptation is everywhere. Yet to a mind armored in the magic of NO, there is no temptation. This enchanted armor protects me. My gratitude and love increase every time I emerge from a store without clutching cans of poison. I know that I am no longer contributing to my own demise. I am not actively working to harm the self. Indeed this is what drinking is, or any drug use really, and also many other activities engaged in by humans. I hate to say it, but folks like to self-harm. I don't know of a better word for it. The mystical term I borrowed from Freud is Thanatos. Human beings are in thrall to Thanatos, the inverse, perhaps, to Apollo.

One must accept a certain level of boredom. Coping with boredom is one of the first skills a newly sober person must master. How to deal with bouts of boredom, anxiety, mild depression, and worry. Finding new coping methods is a big challenge. For me, I found that in abandoning one irrational practice--drinking--it helped to embrace another irrational practice--spirituality. There is no logical reason to believe in X, Y, or Z, but I feel that belief is unnecessary, even irrelevant. How can such an insignificant, temporary accumulation of cells suppose that it has gathered enough data to actually believe in something? No, working hypothesises are quite acceptable, as we grope our way through this dark and misty veil of the world, where so much is unknown and unseen, and our sensory apparatus so limited, and our knowledge so small. Belief, bah!

If necessary, make-believe. Nothing wrong with pretending, really, either consciously or unconsciously. The main thing is to be positive, to be aligned with that which is good and wholesome. Kindness, gentleness. As far as theology or theory or doctrine goes, that sort of things gets rewritten and revised every Aeon, and who knows, really? Perhaps some things are quite beyond full comprehension by the mortal mind, but is comprehension really necessary in the first place?

I would rather spend time contemplating Light than digesting alcohol sugars (and getting fatter and slower). Simple as that. I think being a touch anti-social actually helps, because so many self-congratulating, very self-satisfied social people I see require the drinking of alcohol in order to be social. If alcohol is the only way to be social, then perhaps it is not worth being social with such individuals. Sober people offer better company, in general.

Higher Intelligence

There is a certain higher intelligence, a maturity, attainable only in sobriety, and only when desired above all else. Look down, as though from above, at this world with all its people, including yourself, and understand you are players, representations of the spirits, tiny little beings in the greater Cosmos. What is so important you must cry? Can it be anything really of weight, beside the galaxies moving through space? So, what little human being, let us call him or her X or Y or Z, what this little speck of dust, doomed to die in the blink of the eye of the Buddha, what it does or says is quite beside the point. I am saying listen to the roar of the Cosmos, and then you will view the squeak of the human beings in their proper perspective. Dust, gone and forgotten, is the fate of all, even the one that props himself up on a pedestal and croaks his silly boasts before the world of men, though he has decayed to an ugly frog in his advanced age.

You can control what you do or say. And that is all you need to do! What a relief! No need to control others or even to be concerned about them at all. Let people be people. What is wrong with that? People want to be themselves. Of course, people make mistakes, so let people make those mistakes, and if there are consequences, well then, that is a problem they will have to work out, isn't it?

There are not any things which "must not be done" by others. Others make mistakes, sometimes, terrible foolishness, but that is on them, isn't it? It is not a burden one must share or accept. I am not saying, do nothing all the time. Fight when necessary, avoid when possible, is my advice, because contemplation and work is preferable to pointless nonproductive fighting, which accomplishes little. What scientific discoveries did the Vikings ever make? Oh, do tell me about the longboat. For a thousand years, it is not much. Where is their literature, and how does it compare to our Canon? So fighting is necessary sometimes but is to be avoided, as the main glory is to be had by careful toil. I have always preferred to let the Vikings deal with the Vikings, because they will tend to devise effective solutions for one another.

I despise drinking, not for the reason of health, although that is a valid reason and supported by science, but for this other reason. Intoxication inhibits the higher intelligence, blinds us to the greater awareness, chains us to this material plane, imprisons us within our animal nature, so we do not know what it is we do or say. There is no getting around that it is evil. As to why it is popular and so common throughout all of history and civilization, there is a side of us that wants the Night. So the animal nature is definitely a powerful factor within us, and evolution's a work in progress, and it is known that monkeys, too, are fond of fermented fruit and will seek it out in the jungle. The question put before each human being is whether to indulge the base animal with its low instincts or to reach for the higher stage, for what will come next, if the species is to progress.

To Know that there is No Hope

To know that there is no hope seems like a doom. It is not. When savored fully, the revelation is a liberation. From futile, needless wants. The knowledge is a mighty gift, scorned by the foolish, esteemed by the Wise, sent by those who Watch and Listen.

Silence is Underrated

Silence is really underrated. Half people's problems could be cut out, if they would zip it. That advice certainly applies to our inept President, who suffers from foot-in-mouth disease. Quiet efficiency is really what is desired, not petty drama, airing of petty grievances and vendetta, or even ill-advised and bumbling attempts at small talk.

The best conversations I have had have been one-sided monologues, that is to say, reading books, such as, recently, books by esteemed author, Donald Tyson, who specializes in an unpopular subject in which he has achieved status as a scholar. In the final analysis, it is not necessary to know a mind on a personal level, and is often more of a distraction full of baggage than anything useful. Ideas are best transmitted cold, using a cold medium, such as a book. I wrote Tyson once, but he never replied, and although at first I felt the dismay of rejection, upon reflection I find it matters not at all, and may be the best outcome, the right one. One sends probes in many directions during life, and odds are, most will be rebuffed. In the end, the world of the intellect is where minds can truly meet.

To Be Underestimated

To be underestimated is a gift of immeasureable value, pearl of Great Price given freely, for the silence & shadow of no-awareness is Loki's garden.

Truth Gift-Wrapped with a Silken Ribbon and Bow

Truth is freely given, left upon a street corner, gift-wrapped with a silken ribbon and bow, free for the taking, but the World passes by, many a fool pausing only to spit upon the precious Pearl of Great Price, and cars meantime running over the priceless jewel and destroying all evidence of its existence.

This is why those who know remain silent and keep their knowledge close, even to the grave, because to reveal is to invite criticism. No one really wants to know. Knowledge shatters illusion, which is all that keeps some people going. Do not underestimate the importance and the precedence of lies and falseness in daily life. They are essential and as necessary as vitamins and daily minerals. Without them, many would wither and perish. Truth is potent, like fire, and destructive.

Death Dream

I dreamed I was twenty again and driving my father into a deserted parking lot behind a closed shopping mall late at night. There was something work-related I had to check, a malfunctioning outdoor gadget of some kind, and I parked the car beside it. Another car pulled up. I shined my flashlight at the occupants. They got out, two men, armed with pistols. I was face down on the ground, begging for my life, and one thug smiled at my pleas, then put a bullet through my brain, which ended my life. What happened to my father, I don't know, but likely the motive of the attack was robbery, and the callous killers could brook no witnesses. It is deplorable, the tiny amounts of lucre that people are willing to kill other human beings for. It is not like I drive an expensive car or wear gold jewelry.

Upon awakening, I observed that the dream bore little relation to my current life, as I have no mortal enemies and have not been a victim of violent crime, at least recently. Perhaps I was visited by a traveling spirit that had seen the scenario. Or perhaps it was a memory of a television show. Television displays murders often. I guess it gets peoples' attention.

Of course, I will die in a certain amount of years, and that fate is unstoppable, even if I manage to elude the bullets that zip by in mad, modern-day America, where every hothead ends his life while taking out ten or twenty others.

So, what of it? I will not have any worries after I die. I will rejoin the earth, become one with it, and give up this individual identity known as self. The constituent atoms will reform into something else. And eventually, the earth will die, along with the universe itself.

I do not believe the self is so precious that it must be preserved forever. I believe the self is disposable rather, a base thing, prone to selfishness, driven by needs such as hunger and greed, and not really that fine. The dissolution of self could almost be regarded as a liberation of sorts. We cling to self and to life out of nostalgia and familiarity. One comes to realize that what we think of as the uniqueness of our self is actually replicated in many other people, who have the same drives, the same motives and desires. We are not really that different in the end. And the world keeps on spinning even after we are gone.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

It is a law of the Universe that no good deed goes unpunished. People fear change of any kind, whether it is for good or not. By doing good, one disrupts the status quo, and it is the familiar that is preferred and trusted, whether the familiar be good or ill, while change of any kind arouses suspicion, because many cannot understand the desire to do good, and instead brood over imaginary deeper plots and schemes.

The Splendid Serenity of the Dead

My little familiar, Fra, is angry whenever I drink. But she doesn't understand. Thinking's overrated. We drink so as not to think. Or to think less. That is all.

I think, today, people think far too much, and that is why there are problems in the world. Most problems are the result of people over-thinking.

Now, tell me, what problems do rocks have? Trees? Water? Fish? Perhaps trees and fish do have problems, after all, but the problems only result from thinking--aspiring to survival, to prosperity, to reproduction, and so forth.

Were living things to emulate the dead, and not think, then they would be equals of the dead and share in the splendid serenity of the dead.

Treatment of Animals is the Ultimate Moral Litmus Test

When one reads about the needless torture of lower life forms, such as pigs--a grave sin committed in an effort to maximize profit--and probably ineffective--and the alarming footnote, that this torture is now defended with all of the vast resources of our Federal Government, by directive of the Trump Administration, it is a shock indeed; and one wonders whether the moral divide between the U.S. and other countries, such as N. Korea, has diminished from a mighty chasm, to a hop, skip and a jump. Our enemy tortures humans for no good reason, for sport; we torture pigs for no good reason--and persecute those who would show any consideration at all to the animals. We are better, still, but there is a stain.

How can it be that the "Conservative Christians" that are all for Trump can turn a blind eye to the needless suffering of animals, committed out of pure callousness? The question must be posed: if their god would approve callous cruelty against animals, then what sort of god is it?

We may one day by judged, if not by God, than by an alien race, based upon how we treat other life forms on the planet, and if that day comes any time soon, then I certainly hope we are judged individually, rather than collectively.

Sobriety

One reads, everywhere, that alcohol in moderation is good for you, or your heart, or your general state of mind, or your immune system, or something. A glass of wine with dinner, say, or a beer with your buddies, is supposed to enhance well-being. It helps the heart, well, they don't know how, but they think it may, due to statistics, or something.

On the one hand, we have trillions of dollars made through the global marketing of alcohol-based products. Of course, with so much money at stake, funding will be readily available to any scientist that wants to find virtue in a shot-glass.

On the other hand, we have zero dollars to be made, by the business-criminal class, from healthy, happy, high-functioning human beings.

It is clear to me where the truth lies. For the business criminal, the suffering and death of billions is of small concern, whereas their corporate stock price, and the luxuries afforded by their trade, is everything.

In the beginning, after I cut alcohol from my diet, my thinking was actually impaired, as my body chemistry took time to adjust. But after time, I see that I am stronger and in fuller possession of my powers. I sleep well, long, and deeply, awakening each morning refreshed, renewed, eager to begin the working day. My emotions are calmer, held in a tighter rein by the higher reason, which is of vast benefit. Money that was spent on expensive piss instead remains in my pocket. In addition, I lose weight.

There is a pleasure to be had from alcohol, but many paths lead to pleasure, and alcohol is neither the best nor the only way.

The trouble with a glass of wine at dinner is this. Those with ambition want more. If one glass is good, two must be better, after all.