The Goal is Happiness

I think it is important for people to have the proper goal in life. Happiness is the proper goal. If your end is something else, like prestige, then that is a shaky foundation on which to build a life.

Forget popularity. Forget money and prestige. These are important, yes, but they are not the ultimate goal in life. There are rich people in the world--millionaires--that commit suicide because of a downturn in their fortunes. Ludicrous!

I knew of a man who was a successful business owner. He was the envy of many, although he also had many enemies, because he was hot-tempered and full of anger towards others, especially the ones closest to him. One day, he placed a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I believe he did this because money, prestige, and power do not satisfy. What he wanted more than anything else in this world was to love others and to be loved, but he could not have this because of his anger, which tended to burn the bridges to the people that he loved most in this world. He never solved this problem. Despairing of a solution, he ended his life.

If he had known me and was willing to listen to me, then I would have told him to stop drinking altogether first of all. Nothing can change without that first step. Alcohol is toxic to the human brain and can influence nonviolent people to behave in a violent manner. But eliminating alcohol is not enough. More steps must follow afterward. Don't be greedy, don't be mean, don't harangue your employees, don't smash and destroy the equipment in your business. He once destroyed a cash register with a hammer because he could not understand how to operate it. A human being should always bear in mind that he is a human being, not an ape. What makes us special is our knack for patience, for cunning, for elegant solutions.

The reason people like him will not listen to people like me is pride. They think they are better than others. Pride is the barrier that seals them in their self-made dungeon, from which there is no escape. I remember a friend of mine who was miserable, completely down, agitated, and unbearable to be around. After asking a few questions, I knew why. He was accustomed to drinking several cups of coffee a day. It was the weekend, and as of mid-day Saturday he had not any coffee or tea in over twenty-four hours. I suggested that he drink some, but he bristled. He was no drug addict! It is funny that people refuse to recognize their addictions. Of course, he was suffering from classic caffeine withdrawal, but he persisted with his denials due to pride. Later, in private, he had his coffee and all of the agitation disappeared. He thought he was saving face by denying the problem to me.

If you're not happy, find out why. That's the key. Life is a work in progress, an engineering problem, if you will. Reduce that which makes you unhappy. Increase that which makes you happy. Some things cause happiness only on a temporary basis, but in the long run, cause misery. These things too must be avoided. Wisdom is that superb quality about a person that tends to promote happiness, both in one's self and in those around him for the long run.

Good relations with others is essential. However, some people are incompatible with others. Not all personality types can coexist. There are sadistic types in the world. Avoid these types, if you can. Treat them as anathema, because they will attempt to drain all the joy out of those around them, including you. The people you want for your friends are those that desire peace and harmony, with an avid curiosity for intellectual matters and an eagerness to learn new things. I once had to walk away from a lucrative job in order to free myself from psychic vampires that were determined to be unhappy, and moreover were determined to make those around them unhappy as well. It is not worth wasting the flower of life in a desolate environment.

The world has two general types of people, those that seek happiness, and those that seek pain and suffering. Thanatos is Sigmund Freud's explanation for the latter sort, who adhere to the dark side of human nature. Thanatos does have certain peculiar advantages, which is why it has persisted within our species since time immemorial, but it is not aligned with the good and the right, and is not the proper path to take. Associating with fools, one is liable to become as they are. Avoid fools, and seek out the wise, if you place a value upon virtue. Virtue is that goodness which not only makes one's self happy, but makes others happy as well, and makes the world a better place to live in. This is a solid foundation on which to build a life.