Regrets

Regrets are not helpful if they are not solvable. If one can do something about something, fine. But there's no point "crying over spilt milk." (Yes, Blogger, spilt is spelt correctly.)

One of the difficult life lessons I have acquired is to stop fretting over things that can't be changed. For instance, I feel that I could have risen higher than I have if I had chosen the right career, lawyer or doctor, at the age of twenty instead of indecisiveness, followed by the adoption of a path, the easiest one for me at that time, that led to quick but modest rewards, computer programming. Today, in the U.S., if you do not have two years of experience already in a specific programming language in high demand, you are locked out. You will not be able to find a job anywhere, because ten years of experience in an old language is worth nothing. People that do not program computers do not realize this. People who are already in the field do. I have abandoned computer programming as a profession due to the inability to find a job anywhere in the computer field.

Being perfectionist can lead to depression when one detects various oversights and errors in judgment made in the past. The very nature of the past is that it cannot be changed. Only the present can be changed and only a little. The future is the most fluid of all time frames. The only thing the past can provide is wisdom by way of little stories that illustrate possible outcomes for behavior, choices and beliefs.

Another tool for overcoming regret is being mindful of the limited amount of time permitted in a human life. Sure, if we had eons, we could learn what to do and what not to do, without relying in robot-like fashion upon the instructions of others but using direct experience and observation to achieve a state of being close to perfection. We have very little time and that is the chief problem of human existence along with a limited intellect and fragile body.

I often like to imagine nonexistence and think about the impending leave, that is, what the world will be like in my absence. Better? Worse? I foresee it would be little changed with the exception of those nearest and dearest to me, so that is a powerful motive for remaining in the world as a benevolent, helping and healing influence, but it also informs me that whatever I do or don't do is not going to make any big waves in society and that's all right by me. My goal is to act in such a way that things around me are improved to the limited extent I can improve them.