I read Aesop's fable about the fox and the grapevine when I was a child. The fox found a grapevine hanging along a tree loaded with grapes. He jumped, but just couldn't reach the fruit, at which point he said, "they're probably sour, anyway!"
I'm reminded of that fable as I reflect on some of the characters I fell in love with in my younger years. There were quite a few--I'd say a dozen, at least. Maybe two dozen. At the time, I thought they were possessed of sterling qualities through and through, which made it all the more unpleasant when they passed on my offer.
It is only in retrospect, decades later, that I can look back and realize that their chief virtue was their face. What was in their heart was not fully considered. I think that most of them lacked virtue. All that they had to boast about was beauty. They were doing me a favor by passing me by, although I didn't know it at the time. I think this is more than sour grapes, but whether it is or not, I believe it to be true. To be with a beautiful, but shallow person may be satisfying for an evening--and I have had several such evenings--but over time, there can be only discord. I remember the flame of passion, but then I reflect on the person that I used to love, and I realize that he or she was just another selfish bastard, no better than anyone else.
Love is certainly a species of delusion, possibly among the most dangerous kinds. I'm lucky I didn't suffer any terrible consequences. An acquaintance of mine was recently fleeced by a good-looking con artist that he fell in love with. He lost tens of thousands to an obvious lie. Such an excess of trust! We lock our doors and windows against the burglar, who never shows, but leave our hearts wide open for theft by the liar! I never lost money, at least. That is a consolation. I only lost my sense of peace, and only for a few months at the most. I have grown more resistant to the immoderate passion as I've grown older. Where I used to seek love, now I am content to appreciate what I already have and augment it.
I could wish that I had been more discriminating as a young man and reserved my affections for people that were really virtuous. But what young man ever does that?
I'm at least fortunate that I found a beautiful and virtuous partner in my late twenties, with the bloom of youth still upon me. I would not swap my partner for any of the selfish bastards that I knew before.
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