Joel has said what many gay men have wanted to say for a long, long time. I only wish that an older and wiser gay man like him had told me these things when I was a severely depressed fifteen year-old living in a conservative, homophobic area. Nobody I knew was gay. I thought I was the only one in the entire world. I remember that I dog-eared the chapter on suicide in a book on psychology and read it often. My ambition was to gather enough courage to do the deed. I never came close, however. I never even progressed to cutting myself. But I thought about it often and took ridiculous chances that I should not have taken. High-risk behavior is a form of attempted suicide. Death seemed like a perfect answer to all my problems. Perhaps death is one kind of solution, but it is boring, and destroys the possibility of anything good happening. A suicide causes pain in the hearts of good people, even strangers that we do not know, who will observe the death with sorrow. It is strange to think, but true, that people that one does not know care about one's welfare. A suicide hands the ignorant, evil villains an easy victory. We must not give in to evil. And make no mistake, the bullies, the homophobes are the forces of darkness, akin to the Nazis.
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