The Ant Bite

Last year, I was walking through the backyard when an ant bit me on the ankle. I was astounded! What had I ever done to the ant?

The neighbor to the right, Mrs. London, offered assistance, and the neighbor to the left, Mrs. Paris, offered advice. I accepted the assistance, but rejected the advice. Who wants advice, in a time like this? I already know everything there is to know! I told Mrs. Paris to mind her own damn business. She said she was just trying to help. I reminded her of that time when she came to me asking to borrow sugar. Honestly, the nerve of some people!

My reaction was heroic, because I'm a hero. First of all, I took out a huge loan from the Bank of China. They are so friendly and accommodating at the Bank of China! They said my credit is good for the time being and not to worry about anything. They were very pleased to have my business, let me tell you. I'm not a big fan of debt, but when something like this happens, you have to be prepared to go into debt, because after all, this is war, and war is more important than anything else. No one really wants to go on living after getting bit by an ant!

I used all the money to dynamite the backyard, bulldoze the house, and set everything on fire. Now the house is in ruins, but those ants... I bet they learned a really good lesson! I even took out my magnifying glass and tortured a few ants with the rays of the Sun. Oh, I really taught those ants a thing or two, let me tell you!

The funny thing is, those ants seem to keep coming back. The world is a dangerous place, I'm afraid. The only thing to do is to keep taking out more debt and keep on dynamiting. If I blow up enough stuff, eventually everyone will know just how good I am.

Now if I could just get the Bank of China to forget that huge debt.