Ten Common Traps for Writers

Beginners making their first stab at a serious project like a short story or novel succumb to a variety of traps, ten of which are enumerated here.

1. Exclamation points. Avoid. Your reader is calm, whether you are or not. Stir their pulse with words, not punctuation.


2. The idea that grammar, capitalization, or punctuation does not matter. These building blocks matter even more than your content. When I encounter a story where the writer has neglected these attributes, I skip the story, even if it was written by one of my favorite writers, such as Paul Bowles, who was unduly influenced by the Beat Poets.


3. Hubris. Writers slip into this fault unawares for the most part. Sometimes I will sculpt what seems the perfect image, only to realize it smacks of hubris and must be discarded. A recent example: "I have many more ideas waiting to be born like Athena from the skull of Zeus. You see the exposed spear-tip only." At first blush, this imagery pleased me, because I love mythology and will go to some length in order to make a mythological reference, but it is far too egotistical. Any comparison of a mere mortal with a god, whether mythological or not, is inappropriate, unless that mortal has accomplished a truly Herculean task, and even then, the comparison must never be made in the first person. In a similar vein, refrain from self-praise or self-congratulatory statements that are too obvious. Everyone likes to pat themselves on the back and it is natural to do so, but try to be subtle about it.


4. By the same token, avoid excessive self-deprecatory humor or criticism. Don't run yourself down too much or people will take your negative self-appraisal at face value and wonder why the hell they are reading you.


5. Stating the obvious. If a sentence is unnecessary, omit. If a word is unnecessary, omit. This policy will dispense with most adverbs, as well. If you waste your reader's time with fluff, you will lose your reader.


6. Strive for decorum. This is difficult when discussing politics and other controversial issues. But if you can manage it, try to discuss issues from a higher, intellectual level than the lowbrows on FOX news. This means making an attempt to be articulate and trying to avoid ad hominem attacks. However, when it comes to a central leader, such as George W. Bush, I have abandoned this stricture, because the man is relevant to the discussion.


7. Avoid gobbledygook. College students and other learned souls succumb to the temptation to use big words. If you can at any time replace a big word with a smaller word, without losing meaning, do so. I hate writers that use "utilize" instead of "use." "Utilize" is a word that should be shot at dawn. Also, avoid jargon unless it is necessary.


8. Profanity is not a forbidden zone anymore, but use it in a calculated manner, mindful of how it may affect your readers.


9. When writing fiction, it must at all times be clear who is acting or speaking. Be careful with your use of pronouns. Do not use creative tags for indicating speech, such as "interjected," "exclaimed," or "added." Just say, "So-and-so said." The numerous repetitions of the word "said" are all right, because the reader's mind will interpret "said" as a tag for speech, rendering the actual word invisible. By getting creative with the tag, you render it visible and annoying. If the tag can be omitted without obscuring the speaker, do so.


10. Avoid excessive use of the word "very." Everything is "very," isn't it? Avoid the word "somewhat". If you feel the need to use "somewhat," it is because you chose the wrong adjective. Choose an adjective indicating a milder intensity. In the game Dungeon Crawl, the program tells a player that invokes a power, "You feel somewhat more hungry." A suggested replacement for this is, "You feel hungrier."