Monday, September 27, 2010
If I Were President
If I were President, I'd abolish the DEA and transfer their budget over to the Department of Energy. And when the Prohibitionists started weeping and moaning, I'd point out that the DEA did not exist for most of our nation's history, yet somehow the country got by just fine.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
I Learned How to Play Fetch
A dog of my acquaintance likes to play "grab the toy" with a squeezable, squeaking plastic fish. I didn't know this game to begin with, but she taught the rules to me. Holding it in her jaws, she approached me as though to surrender the toy. When I reached for it, she turned her head away. Indifferent, I walked away, but she followed, again offering the toy. When I lunged for it, she darted away. When I gave up, she dropped the toy on the ground and let me grab it, even though we both knew that she's faster than me. She pretended to be furious about this theft and pursued me, barking, until I threw it for her to fetch. We had several repetitions of this nature. She enjoyed this a great deal, and I did too. I was amused by the observation that the dog was smart enough to get me to do what it wanted me to do.
Our Decline
One of the problems with our nation's decline in power and prestige relative to China is that China has been emboldened to take the stick to its neighbors.
Clumsy
Legal decisions handed down by judges are not usually hilarious, but this one is. I think Judge Ed Carnes may have a second career awaiting him as a humorist.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Ahmadinejad at the UN
One of the less irritating aspects of Iranian President Ahmadinejad is that I always have to copy and paste his name. The spelling is not intuitive.
I disagree with his assertion that "the majority of the American people as well as most nations and politicians around the world" agree with the view that "some segments" in U.S. government orchestrated the 9/11 attacks. No one I know believes such a thing, and I mingle in liberal groups. I certainly have more faith in my government than to think a stunt like that would be pulled. The news would be explosive, many times worse than Watergate. It's unthinkable. Unless some excellent proof were made available, I would not even consider it. There is no parallel in American history, at least to my knowledge. Besides my faith in government, there is also my faith in government incompetence. A system that can't cover up Abu Ghairab certainly couldn't have gotten away with staging 9/11. They're just not that clever.
Now the Iranian government, on the other hand, is a different story. They indeed engage in deceit against their own citizens, having fixed an election, and they employ violence against peaceful protests. Perhaps Ahmadinejad is projecting his own values (or lack thereof) onto his enemy, failing to appreciate that his enemy is more scrupulous than he. Ethics are not understood by those who lack them.
I disagree with his assertion that "the majority of the American people as well as most nations and politicians around the world" agree with the view that "some segments" in U.S. government orchestrated the 9/11 attacks. No one I know believes such a thing, and I mingle in liberal groups. I certainly have more faith in my government than to think a stunt like that would be pulled. The news would be explosive, many times worse than Watergate. It's unthinkable. Unless some excellent proof were made available, I would not even consider it. There is no parallel in American history, at least to my knowledge. Besides my faith in government, there is also my faith in government incompetence. A system that can't cover up Abu Ghairab certainly couldn't have gotten away with staging 9/11. They're just not that clever.
Now the Iranian government, on the other hand, is a different story. They indeed engage in deceit against their own citizens, having fixed an election, and they employ violence against peaceful protests. Perhaps Ahmadinejad is projecting his own values (or lack thereof) onto his enemy, failing to appreciate that his enemy is more scrupulous than he. Ethics are not understood by those who lack them.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
HIV Infections
The gay community continues to suffer a high infection rate from HIV. When I was young, I regarded getting tested as a rite of passage, besides a source of free condoms (they gave them out at the clinic). I was all about safe sex and could recite all the major recommendations. I'm not sure many young people are as vigilant about disease as they could be. Instead of approaching the ritual with the reverence it deserves, young lovers rush into things under the influence of hormones and alcohol. Sometimes things that should be remembered, such as a condom and how to use it, are forgotten. Then begins a lifetime of coping with unpleasant maladies such as gonorrhea, herpes, genital warts or worse, HIV. Worse is the knowledge that one may infect future lovers. Not everyone is forthcoming with crucial information regarding their infection status. It is the rare individual that is honest about such a matter.
Our college professor preaches to us about political subjects, even though she is supposed to be teaching chemistry. Today she offered us her opinion on sex education, which to her mind ends with abstinence. That road leads to death. Young people should be aware of condoms and how to use them. There is nothing gained by withholding lifesaving information. Her opinion about condoms is that "well, they don't always work." Condoms are the best known defense against HIV during the sex act, period, end of story. No, they are not a perfect protection, but what is? I have yet to meet anyone that contracted HIV while engaging in safer sex.
Abstinence is a good idea for those that are still in high school. I'm all for it. I am also in favor of monogamy, although it is not the choice of everyone. But teenagers should be taught about condoms and supplied with condoms and other forms of birth control if they request them. Today, with HIV, it is a matter of life and death.
Our college professor preaches to us about political subjects, even though she is supposed to be teaching chemistry. Today she offered us her opinion on sex education, which to her mind ends with abstinence. That road leads to death. Young people should be aware of condoms and how to use them. There is nothing gained by withholding lifesaving information. Her opinion about condoms is that "well, they don't always work." Condoms are the best known defense against HIV during the sex act, period, end of story. No, they are not a perfect protection, but what is? I have yet to meet anyone that contracted HIV while engaging in safer sex.
Abstinence is a good idea for those that are still in high school. I'm all for it. I am also in favor of monogamy, although it is not the choice of everyone. But teenagers should be taught about condoms and supplied with condoms and other forms of birth control if they request them. Today, with HIV, it is a matter of life and death.
Saxby Chambliss and a Call for Murder
Recently, someone traced to an IP address associated with the office of Senator Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) posted on a blog, "all faggots must die," which summarizes the Republican viewpoint. Although some are protesting this, I think it is a rare example of honesty on the Republican side. Republican hate is real, motivating all of their actions. The rest of their argument against "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is composed of lies.
If Saxby Chambliss or his out-of-control henchmen go gunning for gays, then I am prepared to defend myself and my property. I am not afraid to die and do not fear cold-blooded murderers.
Update: Chambliss apologized and fired a member of his staff, who remains anonymous. That's good enough for me. I have always been impressed by apologies. It always surprises me to learn that someone has a bigger heart and a wiser head than I had assumed based upon a previous observation. I think that Chambliss did the right thing in this instance. I would have done the same.
However, I do hope the incident causes Chambliss to reflect upon his positions on other issues involving gays, and in particular, our brave gay soldiers. The comment had said, "all faggots must die." The "faggots" serving our country in uniform are willing to die to protect our country. They should be treated with dignity and respect, not kicked out of the military. I don't think it is much to ask to request that their sexual orientation be left alone. We are lucky that they are willing to put their lives at risk for us.
If Saxby Chambliss or his out-of-control henchmen go gunning for gays, then I am prepared to defend myself and my property. I am not afraid to die and do not fear cold-blooded murderers.
Update: Chambliss apologized and fired a member of his staff, who remains anonymous. That's good enough for me. I have always been impressed by apologies. It always surprises me to learn that someone has a bigger heart and a wiser head than I had assumed based upon a previous observation. I think that Chambliss did the right thing in this instance. I would have done the same.
However, I do hope the incident causes Chambliss to reflect upon his positions on other issues involving gays, and in particular, our brave gay soldiers. The comment had said, "all faggots must die." The "faggots" serving our country in uniform are willing to die to protect our country. They should be treated with dignity and respect, not kicked out of the military. I don't think it is much to ask to request that their sexual orientation be left alone. We are lucky that they are willing to put their lives at risk for us.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Bravo for Zuckerberg
Bravo to Mark Zuckerberg for pledging $100 million dollars to the Newark public school system in New Jersey.
I don't care what the movie says about him. I think that with philanthropy, no one should look a gift horse in the mouth. It a fine thing when a wealthy person gives back to the community. I think it is a good way of polishing one's legacy.
I don't care what the movie says about him. I think that with philanthropy, no one should look a gift horse in the mouth. It a fine thing when a wealthy person gives back to the community. I think it is a good way of polishing one's legacy.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sen. McCain, Nothing but an Empty Suit
"I regret to see that the long-respected and revered Senate Armed Services Committee has evolved into a forum for a social agenda of the liberal left of the Senate," Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona) said last week on the Senate floor.
What's McCain talking about? An attempt to lift the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule that discriminates against gays in the military. Someone needs to point out to Mr. McCain that a majority of Americans now support lifting the ban.
I used to like Sen. John McCain when he was running against George W. Bush. He used to favor allowing gays in the military. He used to be a rare maverick in the Republican party about ten years ago, but for the sake of political expediency, he degenerated into an empty suit filled up with prejudices from conservative Christian groups. I have lost all respect for McCain and will be pleased when his time in public office has come to an end.
Update:
Even though military leaders, rank and file service members, and the majority of the American public wanted to end the discrimination, the US Senate was unable to block a filibuster on the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA).
Led by John McCain, Senate Republicans have stopped the recall of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for now.
For more information, check here.
What's McCain talking about? An attempt to lift the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule that discriminates against gays in the military. Someone needs to point out to Mr. McCain that a majority of Americans now support lifting the ban.
I used to like Sen. John McCain when he was running against George W. Bush. He used to favor allowing gays in the military. He used to be a rare maverick in the Republican party about ten years ago, but for the sake of political expediency, he degenerated into an empty suit filled up with prejudices from conservative Christian groups. I have lost all respect for McCain and will be pleased when his time in public office has come to an end.
Update:
Even though military leaders, rank and file service members, and the majority of the American public wanted to end the discrimination, the US Senate was unable to block a filibuster on the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA).
Led by John McCain, Senate Republicans have stopped the recall of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for now.
For more information, check here.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The DEA Should Relocate to Iran
In a CNN article on Proposition 19, which will legalize marijuana, there is a link given that supposedly explains why the former DEA chiefs frown on legalization. The real reason is that they want to continue soaking taxpayers for billions of dollars to wage war against American citizens. The proper place for a former DEA chief is in Iran, where he will feel right at home. The country founded by George Washington and Thomas Jefferson--both marijuana farmers--is not the right country for them.
Proposition 19 certainly has made some odd bedfellows. The Mexican Mafia, pot dealers, and pot growers are on the same side as the DEA. Both sides of the drug war want the war to continue, because it has proven extremely lucrative for their selfish interests. The same scenario applied during Prohibition (of alcohol).
Proposition 19 certainly has made some odd bedfellows. The Mexican Mafia, pot dealers, and pot growers are on the same side as the DEA. Both sides of the drug war want the war to continue, because it has proven extremely lucrative for their selfish interests. The same scenario applied during Prohibition (of alcohol).
Here's to Home Depot
I've opened up the "good news" category because most news tends to be bad news. Worse, most of my blog entries tend to criticize the negative elements in the world. Writers everywhere often focus upon the negative--political writers more so than others. The reasons why are obvious. What is the point of extolling something that is already working fine? Most people will agree if something is working without any problems, so there does not seem to be any point in discussing it.
My electric Black & Decker weed eater broke after three years of service. I imagined I'd have to buy a new one. I emailed the manufacturer and got the runaround. They told me I did not enter the model number in the correct space in my email. They have an automated email bot that requires all information to be entered in a precise location. After my second email bounced, I called the toll-free number, was put on hold, and then spoke with a CSR, who told me the nearest repair facility was a hundred miles away. I called the repair center, and they said the weed eater's warranty had probably expired, but they weren't sure, so they suggested that I take it back to the store I bought it from, Home Depot. Trouble was, I didn't have any receipt.
The CSR at Home Depot said, "Go ahead and pick out a new one." I was flabbergasted. I expected to come home empty-handed, and at any other store, that would have been the case. I felt grateful and picked a box that had been damaged in shipping, although the weed eater itself was fine. That was my way to pay back Home Depot for doing the right thing.
Some people probably abuse the privilege of return. In areas where returns are abused, store policy may require a valid receipt.
I remain a big fan of the Home Depot chain and prefer it over all competitors. I have had good experiences there on a consistent basis.
My electric Black & Decker weed eater broke after three years of service. I imagined I'd have to buy a new one. I emailed the manufacturer and got the runaround. They told me I did not enter the model number in the correct space in my email. They have an automated email bot that requires all information to be entered in a precise location. After my second email bounced, I called the toll-free number, was put on hold, and then spoke with a CSR, who told me the nearest repair facility was a hundred miles away. I called the repair center, and they said the weed eater's warranty had probably expired, but they weren't sure, so they suggested that I take it back to the store I bought it from, Home Depot. Trouble was, I didn't have any receipt.
The CSR at Home Depot said, "Go ahead and pick out a new one." I was flabbergasted. I expected to come home empty-handed, and at any other store, that would have been the case. I felt grateful and picked a box that had been damaged in shipping, although the weed eater itself was fine. That was my way to pay back Home Depot for doing the right thing.
Some people probably abuse the privilege of return. In areas where returns are abused, store policy may require a valid receipt.
I remain a big fan of the Home Depot chain and prefer it over all competitors. I have had good experiences there on a consistent basis.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
We are Marvelous Machines
The complexity of human physiology intimidates me. I find myself more sympathetic of doctors. Their job must be the toughest one of all, with such high stakes. One of the problems with medical science is that there is a great deal we still don't know. Mysteries remain. Research continues in order to verify new theories and test new treatments.
My college updated our textbook after only two years, leaving students like me stranded with an unsellable edition. However, I think it will be a good reference to have on my shelf. I may want to do some recreational reading in the future. Many of my long-standing questions about the human experience seem to be answered in its pages.
We are marvelous machines.
My college updated our textbook after only two years, leaving students like me stranded with an unsellable edition. However, I think it will be a good reference to have on my shelf. I may want to do some recreational reading in the future. Many of my long-standing questions about the human experience seem to be answered in its pages.
We are marvelous machines.
A Stimulus Story
$800,000 of the stimulus money was used to teach African men how to wash their uncircumcised genitals.
Perhaps the stimulus managed to stimulate something after all.
Perhaps the stimulus managed to stimulate something after all.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Can't Refute Calderon
I have to agree with Mexican President Felipe Calderon.
Five seconds ago, CNN posted his remarks, and then deleted them. However, I remember what was posted.
"We live next to the world's largest drug consumer, and all the world wants to sell them drugs through our door and our window. We also live next to the world's largest arms supplier, which arms our criminals."
The legalization of marijuana would crush the Mexican drug lords. No other illegal drug approaches the popularity, safety and usefulness of marijuana. Legalization of all drugs would be the best scenario, but even the legalization of marijuana alone would have a most profound impact upon the underground economy.
Five seconds ago, CNN posted his remarks, and then deleted them. However, I remember what was posted.
"We live next to the world's largest drug consumer, and all the world wants to sell them drugs through our door and our window. We also live next to the world's largest arms supplier, which arms our criminals."
The legalization of marijuana would crush the Mexican drug lords. No other illegal drug approaches the popularity, safety and usefulness of marijuana. Legalization of all drugs would be the best scenario, but even the legalization of marijuana alone would have a most profound impact upon the underground economy.
50 Cent: Talentless Airhead
I saw 50 Cent on The Graham Norton Show and thought him a talentless, egotistical know-nothing. Now he has proven himself beyond doubt to be exactly what I thought he was.
Iran Sets a Ransom
Iran has set a ransom of half a million dollars for the kidnapped American female hiker. The nerve of those barbarians. No one should visit that barbarous region of the world without a stockpile of grenades, a machine gun, and a cyanide capsule in the event of imminent capture, because the fanatics are fond of torture. Sadism is institutionalized in Iran.
If the kidnapped hikers were spies, then it is a great pity they were apprehended without inflicting any Iranian casualties. They should have slain the maximum number of fanatics prior to capture and then detonated their own suicide vests to give the fanatics a nice little dose of their own medicine. The more of the regime's henchmen converted into fertilizer, the better for the race of men.
If the kidnapped hikers were spies, then it is a great pity they were apprehended without inflicting any Iranian casualties. They should have slain the maximum number of fanatics prior to capture and then detonated their own suicide vests to give the fanatics a nice little dose of their own medicine. The more of the regime's henchmen converted into fertilizer, the better for the race of men.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Mongolian Mormons?
The largest groups converting Mongolians are American Mormons and South Korean fundamentalists. Those possessed by memes become zealous proselytizers in much the same way that a cell, possessed by a virus, becomes a propagation factory for the virus.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Burning the Koran?
It is an ill omen that the action of a small-time backwoods preacher compels the President of the United States, our top generals, and our Secretary of State to speak out. Much ado over nothing, if you ask me.
Whether someone decides to burn the Koran in public does not seem worthy of notice to me. In the past, fundamentalist preachers have burned greater works of literature than the Koran. Works by Charles Darwin have been burned along with other tracts deemed homosexual, atheist or socialist. Record albums by the Beatles have been burned that are of greater merit than the Koran.
If someone decides to attack America based upon the independent actions of a small-time preacher, then they would probably attack America anyway, and are just looking for an excuse.
I never burned a Bible, but many years ago, I did deface a Gideon's Bible in a hotel room by sticking used chewing gum in Leviticus, which has been used by fundamentalist preachers to condemn homosexuals. They had persuaded me that the Bible was an anti-gay hate book. Later in life, I encountered moderate Christians, which changed my perspective. I had been ashamed of my book-defacing for years until I read an interview with a famous gay actor, who confessed he ripped out the chapter of Leviticus in a Gideon's Bible in a hotel room, while leaving the rest intact. I was relieved that such a great man committed the same minor sin as I did. It was a childlike expression of anger, but caused no great harm I think. Few Christians find their favorite passages in Leviticus, which is a boring list of dietary and cultural rules that the vast majority of Christians do not follow.
I never burned or defaced the Koran, but that is probably due to lack of opportunity more than anything else. I would not burn the Koran today, for one good reason--I would have to buy one, as I don't own one at present. Buying a book just to burn it seems counterproductive. The act of buying it increases its sales figures and helps to promote it in the eyes of publishers and the reading public. Burning is a futile gesture that only satisfies those possessed of a childlike nature and understanding of the world, similar to the burning of effigies of the preacher by Muslim crowds or the defacing of Leviticus by yours truly. Besides, the book is of historical interest.
I'm not entirely hostile to Islam. Under different circumstances, I could be a Muslim. It would have to be a liberal, intellectual interpretation of Islam, under Sufi auspices and a dense haze of ganja, of which the Sufis were known to partake in order to bring them closer to God. The five-times daily prostrated prayer would have to go, as well as the alien garb and prohibition of pork. But a liberal tradition such as I describe is often persecuted in the hardcore Muslim nations such as Iran. The adherents are marginalized in their society.
Postscript: I read the excellent New York Times article on new developments in the case and was impressed with Obama's explanation for speaking out. I am now persuaded he was right to speak out against the Koran burning. I agree it is foolish to make an intentional insult to another group of people. Perhaps it seems like a small thing to me, but small things become magnified through the lens of the media. If it were not for television, who would know or care what a small-time preacher does?
Perhaps there is a great simmering anger towards the West in the Muslim community for perceived offenses. It is true that our forces have invaded two Muslim countries, Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm sure that doesn't play out very well in public opinion. It is even worse that our cultures are so different. War enforces interaction between the two groups that would seem to be incompatible in many ways.
I believe the media gives too much ear to agitators on both sides, which serves to inflame and polarize public opinion. The level of discourse is now being set by the media, whereby the lowest common denominator gets the most attention.
Postscript #2: Sounds a bit like the person behind the proposed mosque two blocks from Ground Zero is profiteering over the situation. He is a bit more cunning than I thought. The entire thing may be nothing but an elaborate charade designed to make a substantial profit upon resale.
Whether someone decides to burn the Koran in public does not seem worthy of notice to me. In the past, fundamentalist preachers have burned greater works of literature than the Koran. Works by Charles Darwin have been burned along with other tracts deemed homosexual, atheist or socialist. Record albums by the Beatles have been burned that are of greater merit than the Koran.
If someone decides to attack America based upon the independent actions of a small-time preacher, then they would probably attack America anyway, and are just looking for an excuse.
I never burned a Bible, but many years ago, I did deface a Gideon's Bible in a hotel room by sticking used chewing gum in Leviticus, which has been used by fundamentalist preachers to condemn homosexuals. They had persuaded me that the Bible was an anti-gay hate book. Later in life, I encountered moderate Christians, which changed my perspective. I had been ashamed of my book-defacing for years until I read an interview with a famous gay actor, who confessed he ripped out the chapter of Leviticus in a Gideon's Bible in a hotel room, while leaving the rest intact. I was relieved that such a great man committed the same minor sin as I did. It was a childlike expression of anger, but caused no great harm I think. Few Christians find their favorite passages in Leviticus, which is a boring list of dietary and cultural rules that the vast majority of Christians do not follow.
I never burned or defaced the Koran, but that is probably due to lack of opportunity more than anything else. I would not burn the Koran today, for one good reason--I would have to buy one, as I don't own one at present. Buying a book just to burn it seems counterproductive. The act of buying it increases its sales figures and helps to promote it in the eyes of publishers and the reading public. Burning is a futile gesture that only satisfies those possessed of a childlike nature and understanding of the world, similar to the burning of effigies of the preacher by Muslim crowds or the defacing of Leviticus by yours truly. Besides, the book is of historical interest.
I'm not entirely hostile to Islam. Under different circumstances, I could be a Muslim. It would have to be a liberal, intellectual interpretation of Islam, under Sufi auspices and a dense haze of ganja, of which the Sufis were known to partake in order to bring them closer to God. The five-times daily prostrated prayer would have to go, as well as the alien garb and prohibition of pork. But a liberal tradition such as I describe is often persecuted in the hardcore Muslim nations such as Iran. The adherents are marginalized in their society.
Postscript: I read the excellent New York Times article on new developments in the case and was impressed with Obama's explanation for speaking out. I am now persuaded he was right to speak out against the Koran burning. I agree it is foolish to make an intentional insult to another group of people. Perhaps it seems like a small thing to me, but small things become magnified through the lens of the media. If it were not for television, who would know or care what a small-time preacher does?
Perhaps there is a great simmering anger towards the West in the Muslim community for perceived offenses. It is true that our forces have invaded two Muslim countries, Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm sure that doesn't play out very well in public opinion. It is even worse that our cultures are so different. War enforces interaction between the two groups that would seem to be incompatible in many ways.
I believe the media gives too much ear to agitators on both sides, which serves to inflame and polarize public opinion. The level of discourse is now being set by the media, whereby the lowest common denominator gets the most attention.
Postscript #2: Sounds a bit like the person behind the proposed mosque two blocks from Ground Zero is profiteering over the situation. He is a bit more cunning than I thought. The entire thing may be nothing but an elaborate charade designed to make a substantial profit upon resale.
Big Words
There is no doubt in my mind that video has defeated writing and even standalone music as a medium. Next on the horizon is 3D video, which will defeat 2D video in the long run. I missed the boat to the video revolution. There were no cheap cameras available to me growing up, other than a single $69.95 Polaroid that I bought and used on many occasion, each grainy, low-resolution instant photo costing $1-$2 in 1980 dollars! Video was beyond the reach of a young person of my means.
I have been invited, along with many people in a group, to tell my story in front of a video camera, but I'm camera-shy and convinced I would not make a good showing. I've never liked public speaking, which is essentially what videos are.
I like writing better. I love the delete key. Writing allows me to parse my thoughts in a more organized fashion. Only in writing do I feel like I have a measure of control over the final product.
I have a love of big words, and my prose has a business-like or legal flavor to some ears. Some people find me arrogant because of my word choices and the way that I speak. But I was brought up to speak in the way I do, both my parents being involved in education. I loved words from the start and was an avid reader. The SAT and other standardized tests informed me that my verbal aptitude outstripped my mathematical aptitude.
In class yesterday, I was discussing grocery stores with another student, and said, "I like Publix, but would not suggest Food Lion." She looked away from me and said in a derisive tone, "He said he would not suggest Food Lion." I've noticed that she has the stick for most people, including our innocuous professor, so I was not offended, but I found it interesting that my manner of speech was an issue again. That has long been the case.
In my teenage years, I adopted an urban Southern slang, with many words and phrases borrowed from the black culture, in order to deflect criticism. I used words like "ain't," except I shorted it to "ain," just as most words became shortened. Slang tries to render English briefer, more fluid, and obscene. Every other word was "f*" or "s*" in order to express the emotional context. The four-letter words functioned as verbs, nouns, adjectives, and sometimes adverbs. I had to drop this cant in college in order to receive any respect from students and professors. There is such a thing as going too far in the other direction. So I reverted to my indigenous style, which is also the way I write.
I remember as far back as the eighth grade, I was standing up on a bus facing the other boys and trying to tell a funny story that I had heard from a comedian. I thought I was doing a good job, until my old enemy, who harassed me through first grade to eighth, crept behind me and kicked me in the butt, which aborted my story-telling, not that anyone cared. In retrospect, I wasn't a natural at story-telling. The comedian did a much better job. Besides, the comedian was not a popular one, but a regional comedian that had been popular ten or twenty years ago. My parents liked him, but not many other people did, a point I was not aware of at the time.
I knew my enemy was stronger, so I did not have a chance of prevailing in a fight, but he was also intelligent and would listen if I argued with him, because he thought he could out-argue anyone, in addition to out-fight. I moved to the front of the bus, where he sat. The bus driver scolded me for moving, which I thought was ironic, because he had said nothing in the case of my enemy. Nevertheless, I apologized and stared straight ahead until the bus driver quit looking at me through the mirror. Then I turned to my enemy, calling him by his name. He could not ignore me, although he tried. I was not to be deterred by insults, but stared into his eyes. Nothing else had any moment for me, not the bus, the bus driver, or the others. Eventually he turned to face me. When I asked him why he did it, he said it was because I had a big head and thought I was better than everyone else. I told him that was not the case. Why did he think so? He said that I used big words, and the reason must be that I was showing off. I was not aware of using big words, so I asked him which ones in particular he had in mind. He said words like "beyond" were not used by anyone else, and I was just showing off by using them. I told him I didn't think "beyond" was a big word. It was used by many people and showed up in many books. He begged to differ.
He was at that moment, as always, in the company of the prettiest boy in the school. While we argued, my eyes darted to his long-term companion and then back to him, and I grinned, as if to say, "I know your secret, and if you bother me again, I will tell others."
He never hit me again and endeavored to avoid crossing my path. The last time I saw him, he was standing by the flat tire of his car, looking perplexed. I walked past him without a word. Anyone else, I would have helped, because my house was just a block away. He said nothing to me, knowing I had the memory of many wrongs committed by him, not just the one I have recounted.
His father dropped dead in his manager's office of a heart attack. I do not think the lemon fell far from the tree. Egoism sometimes rewards the bearer with material success, but it is a lonely and fretful existence.
I have been invited, along with many people in a group, to tell my story in front of a video camera, but I'm camera-shy and convinced I would not make a good showing. I've never liked public speaking, which is essentially what videos are.
I like writing better. I love the delete key. Writing allows me to parse my thoughts in a more organized fashion. Only in writing do I feel like I have a measure of control over the final product.
I have a love of big words, and my prose has a business-like or legal flavor to some ears. Some people find me arrogant because of my word choices and the way that I speak. But I was brought up to speak in the way I do, both my parents being involved in education. I loved words from the start and was an avid reader. The SAT and other standardized tests informed me that my verbal aptitude outstripped my mathematical aptitude.
In class yesterday, I was discussing grocery stores with another student, and said, "I like Publix, but would not suggest Food Lion." She looked away from me and said in a derisive tone, "He said he would not suggest Food Lion." I've noticed that she has the stick for most people, including our innocuous professor, so I was not offended, but I found it interesting that my manner of speech was an issue again. That has long been the case.
In my teenage years, I adopted an urban Southern slang, with many words and phrases borrowed from the black culture, in order to deflect criticism. I used words like "ain't," except I shorted it to "ain," just as most words became shortened. Slang tries to render English briefer, more fluid, and obscene. Every other word was "f*" or "s*" in order to express the emotional context. The four-letter words functioned as verbs, nouns, adjectives, and sometimes adverbs. I had to drop this cant in college in order to receive any respect from students and professors. There is such a thing as going too far in the other direction. So I reverted to my indigenous style, which is also the way I write.
I remember as far back as the eighth grade, I was standing up on a bus facing the other boys and trying to tell a funny story that I had heard from a comedian. I thought I was doing a good job, until my old enemy, who harassed me through first grade to eighth, crept behind me and kicked me in the butt, which aborted my story-telling, not that anyone cared. In retrospect, I wasn't a natural at story-telling. The comedian did a much better job. Besides, the comedian was not a popular one, but a regional comedian that had been popular ten or twenty years ago. My parents liked him, but not many other people did, a point I was not aware of at the time.
I knew my enemy was stronger, so I did not have a chance of prevailing in a fight, but he was also intelligent and would listen if I argued with him, because he thought he could out-argue anyone, in addition to out-fight. I moved to the front of the bus, where he sat. The bus driver scolded me for moving, which I thought was ironic, because he had said nothing in the case of my enemy. Nevertheless, I apologized and stared straight ahead until the bus driver quit looking at me through the mirror. Then I turned to my enemy, calling him by his name. He could not ignore me, although he tried. I was not to be deterred by insults, but stared into his eyes. Nothing else had any moment for me, not the bus, the bus driver, or the others. Eventually he turned to face me. When I asked him why he did it, he said it was because I had a big head and thought I was better than everyone else. I told him that was not the case. Why did he think so? He said that I used big words, and the reason must be that I was showing off. I was not aware of using big words, so I asked him which ones in particular he had in mind. He said words like "beyond" were not used by anyone else, and I was just showing off by using them. I told him I didn't think "beyond" was a big word. It was used by many people and showed up in many books. He begged to differ.
He was at that moment, as always, in the company of the prettiest boy in the school. While we argued, my eyes darted to his long-term companion and then back to him, and I grinned, as if to say, "I know your secret, and if you bother me again, I will tell others."
He never hit me again and endeavored to avoid crossing my path. The last time I saw him, he was standing by the flat tire of his car, looking perplexed. I walked past him without a word. Anyone else, I would have helped, because my house was just a block away. He said nothing to me, knowing I had the memory of many wrongs committed by him, not just the one I have recounted.
His father dropped dead in his manager's office of a heart attack. I do not think the lemon fell far from the tree. Egoism sometimes rewards the bearer with material success, but it is a lonely and fretful existence.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)