Friday, September 30, 2011
Deep Elf Hunter: Viable?
Often I like to play race/class combo's that the developers seem to think are unwise. Case in point, Deep Elf Hunter. I've always been fascinated by Deep Elves because they're almost pure spell-casting savants. I think there may be merit to a late-bloomer, however, who can ply a bow without too much difficulty and who can wear leather armor without fumbling. Later in the game, he can pick up magic.
Iran Can Pay the U.S. Eleven Trillion
One of these days, the U.S. President, whoever he might be, will tire of fighting Iran by proxy in Iraq and Afghanistan, and will deliver a note of demand to Iran's regime. Iran will be required to pay the U.S. eleven trillion dollars, erasing our national debt.
Cat-Napping
This bit of female rivalry takes the cake, or rather the cat.
I'd wager she killed the cat. Someone crazy enough to catnap a cat is crazy enough to kill a cat. Left the cat in the neighbor's garden, my foot. At any rate, abandoning a house cat in the wild is akin to murder by proxy.
I'd wager she killed the cat. Someone crazy enough to catnap a cat is crazy enough to kill a cat. Left the cat in the neighbor's garden, my foot. At any rate, abandoning a house cat in the wild is akin to murder by proxy.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Why I Support the Death Penalty
I support the death penalty because of the case of a horrific crime like the one in Connecticut. I don't think it is fair to the survivors, neighbors or community at large (including the entire country and the world) to let those responsible continue to live a long life. By taking their lives, it is possible that closure can be obtained for everyone that much faster. Perhaps the practice of execution is primitive and unpleasant or whatever but it certainly does wrap the story up and put an end to at least one aspect of the suffering. I think such cases, where the guilt is known and not really in question, should be on an accelerated track, with the final resolution not taking more than a year's time.
Putting myself in the surviving victim's shoes, which I think everyone observing the case has a responsibility to do, I know that if such a wrong was done to the ones I care about, I'm not sure what my response would be, whether my response would abide by the law in every eventuality. I think it would be natural to want to kill the two scumbags by any means possible and at any cost. That is why there is a death penalty, to avoid vendetta and the subsequent trial and prosecution of one carrying out vendetta. I doubt there's a jury in the country that would punish the victim for killing the killers.
Putting myself in the surviving victim's shoes, which I think everyone observing the case has a responsibility to do, I know that if such a wrong was done to the ones I care about, I'm not sure what my response would be, whether my response would abide by the law in every eventuality. I think it would be natural to want to kill the two scumbags by any means possible and at any cost. That is why there is a death penalty, to avoid vendetta and the subsequent trial and prosecution of one carrying out vendetta. I doubt there's a jury in the country that would punish the victim for killing the killers.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Seller Beware on Ebay
I used to sell valuable stuff ($2000+) on Ebay, back in the day, but Ebay has made a lot of changes over the years making the environment hostile for sellers. First, sellers can no longer leave negative feedback, but buyers can in every case, even if a seller cancels a transaction and attempts to refund the purchase. So, abusive buyers don't have any trail behind them.
It used to be that safer forms of payment could be used, such as a postal money order, but Ebay makes it difficult to use anything but Paypal. Paypal almost always rules against a seller in the event of any dispute. So, it seems quite a simple matter for a dishonest buyer to steal from a seller, especially a low-volume seller who does not have a legal department on staff. "I never received my item" is one possible lie, but a more cunning one is, "The item I received was not as described in the auction," which is impossible to disprove, and as noted above, Paypal always rules in favor of the buyer. So, as a seller, there is a chance that you will become a victim of theft that involves a significant amount of aggravation and humiliation added for good measure. Ebay suggests that you factor such losses into your business plan. It is like shoplifting, they say. Incidentally, if you are stolen from, you will also be charged Ebay and Paypal fees, increasing the amount of your loss.
I still sell on Ebay, but after a buyer blackmailed me over a $5 transaction, threatening to leave negative feedback unless I sent him free stuff, I opted to remove all auctions that are for items greater in value than $100. Buyers are acting in an unsavory manner, abusing the system to their advantage. Ebay doesn't care, because they still make money, no matter what happens to the seller.
The total amount of fees that Ebay charges is another matter. For me, they have been in the 16% to 18% range. Ebay also undercharges buyers on shipping costs on a pretty regular basis.
Overall, I think the usefulness of Ebay is not what it once was, and I would welcome a strong competitor. As far as I am concerned, Ebay is a good place to sell junk that would otherwise go into the garbage. I don't intend to sell anything valuable on Ebay ever again.
It used to be that safer forms of payment could be used, such as a postal money order, but Ebay makes it difficult to use anything but Paypal. Paypal almost always rules against a seller in the event of any dispute. So, it seems quite a simple matter for a dishonest buyer to steal from a seller, especially a low-volume seller who does not have a legal department on staff. "I never received my item" is one possible lie, but a more cunning one is, "The item I received was not as described in the auction," which is impossible to disprove, and as noted above, Paypal always rules in favor of the buyer. So, as a seller, there is a chance that you will become a victim of theft that involves a significant amount of aggravation and humiliation added for good measure. Ebay suggests that you factor such losses into your business plan. It is like shoplifting, they say. Incidentally, if you are stolen from, you will also be charged Ebay and Paypal fees, increasing the amount of your loss.
I still sell on Ebay, but after a buyer blackmailed me over a $5 transaction, threatening to leave negative feedback unless I sent him free stuff, I opted to remove all auctions that are for items greater in value than $100. Buyers are acting in an unsavory manner, abusing the system to their advantage. Ebay doesn't care, because they still make money, no matter what happens to the seller.
The total amount of fees that Ebay charges is another matter. For me, they have been in the 16% to 18% range. Ebay also undercharges buyers on shipping costs on a pretty regular basis.
Overall, I think the usefulness of Ebay is not what it once was, and I would welcome a strong competitor. As far as I am concerned, Ebay is a good place to sell junk that would otherwise go into the garbage. I don't intend to sell anything valuable on Ebay ever again.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sooner or Later
Sooner or later the Puritans were gonna have to concede that, yes, we have genitals, and yes, we wanna use 'em, as unclean as it seems, and at whatever cost. The idea that an animal, endowed with genitals, would proceed to follow a lengthy and arbitrary list of thou-shalt-not's regarding those genitals is a bit precious.
I used to think I was in violation of the Bible, specifically Leviticus, but now I believe I'm neutral. Leviticus is a bit of a sham, really, and no one follows it anyhow, and anyone who claims to do so is probably lying.
I still wouldn't convert (or revert) on philosophical grounds. There seems something amiss with all of the major world religions. Islam may be the worst today, although centuries ago Judaism and Christianity gave it a run for its money. I haven't ruled out a Deity quite yet, but I have ruled out the three theologies, which seem like wishful thinking to me.
I used to think I was in violation of the Bible, specifically Leviticus, but now I believe I'm neutral. Leviticus is a bit of a sham, really, and no one follows it anyhow, and anyone who claims to do so is probably lying.
I still wouldn't convert (or revert) on philosophical grounds. There seems something amiss with all of the major world religions. Islam may be the worst today, although centuries ago Judaism and Christianity gave it a run for its money. I haven't ruled out a Deity quite yet, but I have ruled out the three theologies, which seem like wishful thinking to me.
Michael Moore and the Case of Troy Davis
Some celebrities clamor for attention. They say outrageous things for the sole purpose of garnering the public's eye. That's a mistake.
Case in point, Michael Moore. Boycott all of Georgia because of the execution of Troy Davis? Withdraw his books from the bookstore in Little Five Points?
Am I the only one to think that a bit too much? I don't think his boycott will catch on, anyhow.
I'm not a hater of Michael Moore, either, but a fan. I like his documentaries and defend them when I can. I agree with him. But he does tend to be a bit of a drama queen, yes Sir. And by doing so he inspires the other side to call him an idiot. I admire him for his idiocy, though, because other celebrities are too cunning by far. Michael Moore has something rare. Idiot, maybe. He has a heart. No one can deny that. Even his detractors, they must concede it. He says what he feels. He doesn't parse words. There is a refreshing dose of candor in his words.
So, no, I don't support a boycott of Georgia over an execution of a convicted murderer.
As to the case of Troy Davis, I am neutral over his guilt or innocence, because I have not reviewed all of the evidence. I am ignorant, so I do not hold to an opinion. If other people, ignorant on certain issues, would at least remain neutral on them, the world would be a better place, don't you think?
I will say I'm impressed that former President Jimmy Carter supported the struggle of Troy Davis, and on that basis alone, I'd have been in favor of a commutation to a life sentence. Jimmy Carter is a good man, and if he believes something, then there may be some truth in it, certainly enough to merit further consideration.
The death penalty should be used sparingly, and when there is great public outcry, even if the outcry may be without merit, then it should be commuted to a life sentence. Supporters of the death penalty should remember that the primary purpose is not to punish, but to heal the wounds of the community; and if the death penalty creates additional wounds, then that purpose is defeated. I don't see Jimmy Carter signing his name onto the cases of every evil scumbag that walked the earth. He picked Troy Davis, so that must have meant something.
Case in point, Michael Moore. Boycott all of Georgia because of the execution of Troy Davis? Withdraw his books from the bookstore in Little Five Points?
Am I the only one to think that a bit too much? I don't think his boycott will catch on, anyhow.
I'm not a hater of Michael Moore, either, but a fan. I like his documentaries and defend them when I can. I agree with him. But he does tend to be a bit of a drama queen, yes Sir. And by doing so he inspires the other side to call him an idiot. I admire him for his idiocy, though, because other celebrities are too cunning by far. Michael Moore has something rare. Idiot, maybe. He has a heart. No one can deny that. Even his detractors, they must concede it. He says what he feels. He doesn't parse words. There is a refreshing dose of candor in his words.
So, no, I don't support a boycott of Georgia over an execution of a convicted murderer.
As to the case of Troy Davis, I am neutral over his guilt or innocence, because I have not reviewed all of the evidence. I am ignorant, so I do not hold to an opinion. If other people, ignorant on certain issues, would at least remain neutral on them, the world would be a better place, don't you think?
I will say I'm impressed that former President Jimmy Carter supported the struggle of Troy Davis, and on that basis alone, I'd have been in favor of a commutation to a life sentence. Jimmy Carter is a good man, and if he believes something, then there may be some truth in it, certainly enough to merit further consideration.
The death penalty should be used sparingly, and when there is great public outcry, even if the outcry may be without merit, then it should be commuted to a life sentence. Supporters of the death penalty should remember that the primary purpose is not to punish, but to heal the wounds of the community; and if the death penalty creates additional wounds, then that purpose is defeated. I don't see Jimmy Carter signing his name onto the cases of every evil scumbag that walked the earth. He picked Troy Davis, so that must have meant something.
Iranian Regime Wants Us to Hate Them
Iran's leaders learned nothing from the hostage crisis of the '70s, the one that sank Carter's Presidency, with the consequence that Reagan ruled the U.S. for the next eight years.
Looking at the photo of the three American hikers, all I can think of as how thin they are, malnourished by the torturers of Iran's regime. It makes me angry and hateful toward Iran. So, the end result of Iran's gambit with three innocent American civilians is that now ordinary Americans are much more willing and eager to do harm to Iran.
Some people never learn. I mean, they never learn.
With the U.S. economy going down the tubes, and so many American unemployed, it might be easy for a populist to gain the highest office, and you know what, a country the size of Iran with Iran's natural resources could eliminate our debt in a number of ways that would be highly unpleasant for Iranians. I'm not saying that's the right thing to do, but it is a possibility, now, isn't it? Iran plays a game of Russian Roulette, but there's no winner in that game.
I can hardly restrain the bile I feel toward Iran, one of the least lovable countries in the world (I would say least lovable if not for North Korea). They are really determined to do evil in the world.
Looking at the photo of the three American hikers, all I can think of as how thin they are, malnourished by the torturers of Iran's regime. It makes me angry and hateful toward Iran. So, the end result of Iran's gambit with three innocent American civilians is that now ordinary Americans are much more willing and eager to do harm to Iran.
Some people never learn. I mean, they never learn.
With the U.S. economy going down the tubes, and so many American unemployed, it might be easy for a populist to gain the highest office, and you know what, a country the size of Iran with Iran's natural resources could eliminate our debt in a number of ways that would be highly unpleasant for Iranians. I'm not saying that's the right thing to do, but it is a possibility, now, isn't it? Iran plays a game of Russian Roulette, but there's no winner in that game.
I can hardly restrain the bile I feel toward Iran, one of the least lovable countries in the world (I would say least lovable if not for North Korea). They are really determined to do evil in the world.
Obama Will Win Re-Election in 2012
It's not that the Republicans don't have electable candidates. They do. Not one, but three: Buddy Roemer, Ron Paul, and Jon Huntsman, in order of electability. Due to their honesty, these three gentlemen are excluded by the G.O.P. establishment, which prefers confirmed liars and sell-outs like Romney, Perry, Gingrich, Santorum, Cain and Bachman.
I saw Republican Buddy Roemer on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I'd vote for him. He spoke the unvarnished truth for five minutes, and I seldom hear that from a politician. I like him. I don't even know his position on all the issues, but I would definitely listen to him in a debate. I'd go out of my way to listen to him. The current crop of Republican front-runners, I would never listen to, not in a million years. They are liars, evil-doers. Put an honest man on the stage, and I will listen.
This is why the Republican party cannot win the White House. They will select an obvious sell-out.
I saw Republican Buddy Roemer on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I'd vote for him. He spoke the unvarnished truth for five minutes, and I seldom hear that from a politician. I like him. I don't even know his position on all the issues, but I would definitely listen to him in a debate. I'd go out of my way to listen to him. The current crop of Republican front-runners, I would never listen to, not in a million years. They are liars, evil-doers. Put an honest man on the stage, and I will listen.
This is why the Republican party cannot win the White House. They will select an obvious sell-out.
Octopodes, Continued
Best class/religion for Octopodes is Ice Elementalist worshipping NX. The defensive spells Ice Magic offers are essential, and NX's decks of Summoning are invaluable supplements to spellcasting. Eight tentacles and a beak is a good natural armory. Fight unarmed until and unless a weapon-artifact offers too many advantages to refuse. Before entering a new level, cast defensive spells. Swiftness is of great value to an Octopode.
I've been playing Octopodes quite a bit despite their extreme vulnerability. Fifty of my Octopodes lay buried in the Crawl cemetery. I think I have discovered a secret of Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, one that the developers know. It's not the easy races that are the most fun. It's the difficult races, the ones that present a challenge, yet with a great reward awaiting the patient and careful player. For Octopodes, it is the ability to wear eight rings, a dream come true to many a veteran player.
I can confirm that an Octopode that acquires eight rings is a beast to be reckoned with. Mine has 48 MP due to two rings of magical power and exaggerated stats due to rings of strength and intelligence. To be honest I've lost interest in the game now that I'm successful. It's only when I'm dying all the time that I can remain interested, because then it's a puzzle that needs figuring. Now it's a solved puzzle as far as I'm concerned. Ice Elementalist, NX, extreme caution until eight rings, period, that's all there is to it.
I've been playing Octopodes quite a bit despite their extreme vulnerability. Fifty of my Octopodes lay buried in the Crawl cemetery. I think I have discovered a secret of Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, one that the developers know. It's not the easy races that are the most fun. It's the difficult races, the ones that present a challenge, yet with a great reward awaiting the patient and careful player. For Octopodes, it is the ability to wear eight rings, a dream come true to many a veteran player.
I can confirm that an Octopode that acquires eight rings is a beast to be reckoned with. Mine has 48 MP due to two rings of magical power and exaggerated stats due to rings of strength and intelligence. To be honest I've lost interest in the game now that I'm successful. It's only when I'm dying all the time that I can remain interested, because then it's a puzzle that needs figuring. Now it's a solved puzzle as far as I'm concerned. Ice Elementalist, NX, extreme caution until eight rings, period, that's all there is to it.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Jon Stewart is a Genius
I don't know how many people realize that Jon Stewart is a genius. He's the best talking head on television hands down ever. He has bad days here and there, like anyone else. Maybe one in twenty shows is sub-par for him. Jon Stewart on a bad day is better than most talking heads on a good day. He's electric.
I Pity Young Men
I pity young men, who listen to crap rap and avoid the oldies, for they will not know Dinah Washington.
If you my reader are such a young man, then I challenge you to listen to the following:
Dinah Washington was the best jazz female vocalist of the 20th century.
If you my reader are such a young man, then I challenge you to listen to the following:
- Destination Moon
- Baby Won't You Please Come Home
- Do Nothin' Til You Hear From Me
- No Hard Feelings
- It's a Mean Old Man's World
- I Used to Love You
- Let Me Be the First to Know
- Nobody Knows the Way I Feel
- Don't Say Nothin' At All
- You've Been a Good Old Wagon
- Bill
- No One Man
- Me and My Gin
- You're Nobody Til You Love Somebody
Dinah Washington was the best jazz female vocalist of the 20th century.
Top Killer of Octopodes
Top killer of Octopodes are stairways. Going up or down, encountering a Big Baddie in an adjacent tile, and not being able to get away. Happened to me in the Orcish Mines. My fault... I should have cast Swiftness.
Some Writers
Some writers seem to fit me like hand and glove.
I can't resist Mary Renault and Gore Vidal.
Two other writers I like include Tolkien and Patrick O'Brian.
With the collected works of these four writers, I could endure the centuries, locked away in Vampire Castle. Of course, it would be nice to have a phone conference with the sole survivor, Vidal, while he lives, and if he felt the desire to interview a vampire (with apologies to Anne Rice).
I can't resist Mary Renault and Gore Vidal.
Two other writers I like include Tolkien and Patrick O'Brian.
With the collected works of these four writers, I could endure the centuries, locked away in Vampire Castle. Of course, it would be nice to have a phone conference with the sole survivor, Vidal, while he lives, and if he felt the desire to interview a vampire (with apologies to Anne Rice).
Friday, September 23, 2011
Favorite Line in Dungeon Crawl
My favorite activity in Dungeon Crawl is stabbing. The response the game offers on a successful stab is amusing. Here's one. "The helpless ogre fails to defend itself. You dice the helpless ogre like an onion!" Most satisfying.
Netflix
Netflix is catching a lot of flak in the media. Here's the real reason why. They are caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand they want to provide the maximum amount of shows at the minimum price, whether via DVD or streaming. On the other hand you have the Entertainment Studios that are worried about people copying those streams. It is easier to copy a stream than to copy a DVD, from what I gather on a cursory examination. Also the "unlimited" spec is really a tad too generous if you ask me. There really is no foolproof way to protect copyrighted media. Where there's a will, there's a way to copy. Every hacker knows this.
I'm not sure what the solution will be, but I do sympathize with Netflix. I think their hands are tied by the policies of the studios.
I used to use Netflix, but their content selection does leave a lot to be desired. If all movies of more than a year old were available for streaming, it would be worth it, even if Netflix charged $.50 per hour, which I think is fair enough.
I'm not sure what the solution will be, but I do sympathize with Netflix. I think their hands are tied by the policies of the studios.
I used to use Netflix, but their content selection does leave a lot to be desired. If all movies of more than a year old were available for streaming, it would be worth it, even if Netflix charged $.50 per hour, which I think is fair enough.
AMD
I read the guy in charge of AMD's Products Group is leaving. I don't know anything more about that than what the article states.
But as far as AMD's products go, I feel AMD missed the boat on low-power processors. The wave of the future, or actually of today, is energy efficiency and a small footprint. I feel that AMD does not offer enough, today, in the 45 watt and below segment of the cpu market, whereas Intel has some of the latest Sandy Bridge processors that only consume 35 watts.
Otherwise, I'm definitely an AMD fan, although not a stock fan (not referring to shares, but cpu cooling--oh, never mind).
But as far as AMD's products go, I feel AMD missed the boat on low-power processors. The wave of the future, or actually of today, is energy efficiency and a small footprint. I feel that AMD does not offer enough, today, in the 45 watt and below segment of the cpu market, whereas Intel has some of the latest Sandy Bridge processors that only consume 35 watts.
Otherwise, I'm definitely an AMD fan, although not a stock fan (not referring to shares, but cpu cooling--oh, never mind).
Speed of Light Repealed
I was taught in school that the speed of light in a vacuum was absolute and could not be exceeded by anything.
Turns out that may have been wrong.
Science is always revising and improving itself. Religion does, too, to be fair, but it's a bit more resistant to change.
Turns out that may have been wrong.
Science is always revising and improving itself. Religion does, too, to be fair, but it's a bit more resistant to change.
Right On
Good editorial from an unexpected source. Irish Central?
Every once in a while, I encounter the unexpected, reason and logic.
Every once in a while, I encounter the unexpected, reason and logic.
Just Damn Unlucky
I could be among the middle class today; I was just damn unlucky. I've achieved perfect records in so many different arenas, but there's always that one misfortune or coincidence that deprives me of the cheese at the end of the maze.
I think it's fair to say I'm unlucky. I had the bright intuition to buy gold when gold was cheap, $300/oz., in fact I imagined my dead grandfather (he was keen on investments) whispering in my ear, "Buy gold with every spare dollar at your disposal, now," but after buying the gold, I double-guessed myself after reading magazine articles about the invulnerable, infallible, reliable then-soaring stock market, and I sold most of my gold on Ebay, typically for the starting price with no bidding. (As we know, Ebay sucks.)
I almost got accepted into nursing school with my academic record and great score (99) on the entrance exam, but there were two grades from twenty years ago that, I suspect, nixed my chances, along with my lack of prior medical experience. Everyone encouraged me to go back and take those old classes over again and volunteer at a local hospital, but you know what, that's a lot of sacrifice combined with the $30K price tag of nursing school, money that I don't have to spare. Used to be the government helped out poor nursing students, but all that money dried up after the wars, and it never was enough anyhow.
I guess I've got a lot of "almost-wons" to my credit. I almost got a decent job up in Vermont. Spent about a dozen hours filling out applications & questionnaires and responding to emails and conducting telephone and a webcam interview. Nothing. Not even an email saying sorry, we passed you by. I don't mind so much, though. I guess some jobseekers get bitter and bite back when they receive those "Sorry" emails. They shouldn't. Sorry is better than silence. Silence leaves one wondering if the game is still on.
Back in the day, I almost got accepted into graduate school, in fact I was accepted, and my generous parents offered to foot the bill in full, but my stupid morality got in the way. For one thing, I balked at the cost ($15k for living expenses and additional for tuition), knowing that my Mom hated her job and my Dad was retiring. It seemed to me I would be asking them to make a huge sacrifice, and that caused me to scrutinize the curriculum closely. I felt that most of what graduate school was teaching was crap. I perceived some, not all, of the same criticisms that Gore Vidal expresses far more eloquently in his essays and interviews. Probably I should have swallowed my reservations along with my pride and just held my nose and scored an easy Ph.D., because it would have been awfully easy for me. Then I'd have a relatively cushy academic job at some state school or technical school somewhere, much easier that the demanding programming jobs I worked after abandoning grad school.
What I did with computers, I don't think many people could do. It wasn't easy, even for people who live and breathe tech. There was a great deal of skull sweat and cold sweat trickling down the neck at 3 AM in the office as millions of dollars are contemplated at stake. I pulled it off though, all of it, somehow. That does give me satisfaction, even if no one remembers or cares at all (water under the bridge). Put in a situation of crisis, I performed, which means I'm a good soldier. But I suppose that's not valued anymore in today's economy, today's world.
I did have a taste for drama in the younger days, unlike today. I remember the head of the program at grad school calling me up on the phone to ask me why I hadn't paid the fees yet. I guess head count was down, student quality was poor, and I looked good enough on paper to justify a personal phone call.
I indicated I was not interested, that I had changed my mind, and she wanted to know all of the reasons why with as much detail as I could offer. I told her my opinions of the program, which pretty much dovetail with Gore Vidal's, although I had not yet read him on the subject. I had just formed my own opinion after lengthy reflection. She was infuriated and declared that I would never be permitted into the program while she was head, or dean, or whatever it is. She paused for about five seconds, expecting me to mend the rift I suppose, and when I didn't, she concluded that I was not interested in her program anymore, and asked me if that were so. I confirmed. We never spoke again. I imagine I was blackballed or put on some list at that particular university, but it didn't matter. She's probably retired or dead by now, but I don't have any plan on doing the grad school thing now. It's a bit late in the game for that, I think, and there's just no money to help with tuition or any other costs.
I think it's fair to say I'm unlucky. I had the bright intuition to buy gold when gold was cheap, $300/oz., in fact I imagined my dead grandfather (he was keen on investments) whispering in my ear, "Buy gold with every spare dollar at your disposal, now," but after buying the gold, I double-guessed myself after reading magazine articles about the invulnerable, infallible, reliable then-soaring stock market, and I sold most of my gold on Ebay, typically for the starting price with no bidding. (As we know, Ebay sucks.)
I almost got accepted into nursing school with my academic record and great score (99) on the entrance exam, but there were two grades from twenty years ago that, I suspect, nixed my chances, along with my lack of prior medical experience. Everyone encouraged me to go back and take those old classes over again and volunteer at a local hospital, but you know what, that's a lot of sacrifice combined with the $30K price tag of nursing school, money that I don't have to spare. Used to be the government helped out poor nursing students, but all that money dried up after the wars, and it never was enough anyhow.
I guess I've got a lot of "almost-wons" to my credit. I almost got a decent job up in Vermont. Spent about a dozen hours filling out applications & questionnaires and responding to emails and conducting telephone and a webcam interview. Nothing. Not even an email saying sorry, we passed you by. I don't mind so much, though. I guess some jobseekers get bitter and bite back when they receive those "Sorry" emails. They shouldn't. Sorry is better than silence. Silence leaves one wondering if the game is still on.
Back in the day, I almost got accepted into graduate school, in fact I was accepted, and my generous parents offered to foot the bill in full, but my stupid morality got in the way. For one thing, I balked at the cost ($15k for living expenses and additional for tuition), knowing that my Mom hated her job and my Dad was retiring. It seemed to me I would be asking them to make a huge sacrifice, and that caused me to scrutinize the curriculum closely. I felt that most of what graduate school was teaching was crap. I perceived some, not all, of the same criticisms that Gore Vidal expresses far more eloquently in his essays and interviews. Probably I should have swallowed my reservations along with my pride and just held my nose and scored an easy Ph.D., because it would have been awfully easy for me. Then I'd have a relatively cushy academic job at some state school or technical school somewhere, much easier that the demanding programming jobs I worked after abandoning grad school.
What I did with computers, I don't think many people could do. It wasn't easy, even for people who live and breathe tech. There was a great deal of skull sweat and cold sweat trickling down the neck at 3 AM in the office as millions of dollars are contemplated at stake. I pulled it off though, all of it, somehow. That does give me satisfaction, even if no one remembers or cares at all (water under the bridge). Put in a situation of crisis, I performed, which means I'm a good soldier. But I suppose that's not valued anymore in today's economy, today's world.
I did have a taste for drama in the younger days, unlike today. I remember the head of the program at grad school calling me up on the phone to ask me why I hadn't paid the fees yet. I guess head count was down, student quality was poor, and I looked good enough on paper to justify a personal phone call.
I indicated I was not interested, that I had changed my mind, and she wanted to know all of the reasons why with as much detail as I could offer. I told her my opinions of the program, which pretty much dovetail with Gore Vidal's, although I had not yet read him on the subject. I had just formed my own opinion after lengthy reflection. She was infuriated and declared that I would never be permitted into the program while she was head, or dean, or whatever it is. She paused for about five seconds, expecting me to mend the rift I suppose, and when I didn't, she concluded that I was not interested in her program anymore, and asked me if that were so. I confirmed. We never spoke again. I imagine I was blackballed or put on some list at that particular university, but it didn't matter. She's probably retired or dead by now, but I don't have any plan on doing the grad school thing now. It's a bit late in the game for that, I think, and there's just no money to help with tuition or any other costs.
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