Vacation Destination Advice

The countries in blue deserve patronage and affection. If you are fortunate enough to have the time and money, shower them with your tourist dollars and your charity. The orange regions may be considered moderate or otherwise. I would never choose to visit the barbaric countries in red, pink and dark red.

Related news: Cambodia?

Older Gays Coming Out for the First Time

With all the media attention focused on younger gays, it is refreshing to see an article in the Associated Press about elderly people who are coming out for the first time.

I have had a bad experience with linking to AP articles. Typically, after a month or two, the links become defunct. I hope this one lasts. If not, search for "Gay seniors come out late, start second lifetime," by Matt Sedensky, reporting from Miami, Florida. It is quite a good read.

I think I had better read more about this "Male Lesbian Complex" mentioned in Sedensky's article. Hmm. I do wish the psychological establishment could render a more pleasant-sounding description than "Complex". Is it really so complex? Of course, psychologists use the word "complex" in the sense of a structure, which begs the question, how was the structure built--and why? The word "Complex" has a bad reputation due to its association with the Oedipus Complex. In my opinion, the word should be abandoned altogether, because it is a superfluous noun appended to self-sufficient phrases. If one thinks of a man as being a kind of male lesbian, why not call him that? Why the "Complex?" I think the word is used for show. "Complex" has scientific connotations in the realm of molecular chemistry. Psychologists are painfully aware that psychology is far from a science, and their desperate yearning for scientific credibility tempts them to borrow scientific terminology, whether necessary or not, in order to improve their standing in public opinion.

The media does a fairly good job reporting on gays these days, far better than in the paranoid past, when we were maligned as everything bad under the sun. I do remember those days, as I was a child and teenager then and grew up with the sense that the world was against me, because it was so written in the local newspaper, in magazines, on television, and everywhere, and reinforced in school and at home.

The strangest thing of all is how widespread a slur against a group of people can become, so that almost everybody, however educated and intelligent, believes in it. The lie detector in many people is not very advanced at all. Evil-doing on a vast scale becomes possible when many people cling to falsehoods. Therein lies the potential for the self-destruction of our species.

A Duplicate Image Finder and a Screensaver

I find two PC applications to be indispensable for my art collection--a screen saver and a dupe finder.

"Screen saver" is a bit of a misnomer these days. In the early days of computing, users like yours truly relied upon CRT monitors, which were vulnerable to image "burn-in" if the display remained unchanged over a weekend. After burn-in, a ghost of the image lingered until the monitor was replaced. A wise programmer invented the screen saver to draw fresh new graphics on the display after a predetermined period of inactivity, a technique which avoided the dread burn-in by changing each of the pixels at a regular interval.

These days, people use screen savers not to protect their LCD monitors, but for the sake of appearance and beauty. Screen savers have achieved a high level of artistry. However, I prefer a screen saver that displays art by actual artists, like the type one finds in a museum. I do not care for special effects. All I want is art. Show me a masterpiece for 45 seconds, then zip to the next one without any fuss. Nothing is better for a party than a fully automated art show.

Duplicate images are not much of a problem in the early stages of an art collection. But when one's collection exceeds a thousand pictures, dupe creep rears its ugly head. Some may argue that the occasional duplicate is a trivial concern, because today's hard drives are vast, and images consume little space. That much is true. Duplicate images are a problem when one uses a screen saver to display the art collection. Dupes cause certain images to appear more often than others.

ACDSee, my current image viewer of choice, has a dupe-finding tool that I have used for many years. However, it only detects exact matches, not similar images. If a nerd has added a frame to a picture, altered the resolution by one pixel, inserted annoying text into the picture (or EXIF info to a JPEG), then such a dupe is no longer an exact match, but merely similar, which poses a problem for those of us who obtain art through the web. Also, I do not wish to retain lower resolution versions of similar images. I only want to keep the best-looking version or else the one with the most descriptive title. If someone has affixed their web site url onto a picture, like a barbarian, then that will be the version I discard.

The most common transgression of geeks who do not understand the meaning or purpose of art is to insert annoying text into a painting. The JPEG format was designed with a view toward eliminating that vice. The EXIF portion of a JPEG permits the insertion of many different fields of text. EXIF data is hidden from the casual observer, but readable by any image viewer worth its salt. One of the reasons I went hunting for a good dupe finder was to locate duplicates of otherwise good pictures that have been marred by someone who did not bother to use EXIF. These go directly to the trashcan.

I required a utility that detects similar images, and after much searching, I finally found a suitable solution in Dup Detector 3.0, a fine old piece of freeware made in 2002 by Prismatic Software. It required the better part of a night to analyze a large library of art, but when I woke up in the morning, almost all the work was done. In a directory of 15,000 pictures, it nailed 286 similar (not identical) images that ACDSee failed to find. However, it is prone to crashing under Windows XP SP3.

As for screen savers, I prefer Gphotoshow. It is true that my image viewer, ACDSee, has a built-in screen saver. However, like many of ACDSee's tools, it is inferior to a stand-alone product. In addition, my version of ACDSee tends to crash at random moments. Eventually, I plan to switch over to Irfanview, which may prove to be a more stable product.

The problem with ACDSee's screen saver is that it requires that photos be added inside the ACDSee utility. Adding a collection of over a thousand images causes an almighty hiccup. The dreaded hourglass appears and does not go away for quite some time. It is not a once-only procedure. Each time images are added, this function must be performed. That is why I no longer use ACDSee's screen saver. Gphotoshow allows the simple designation of a directory pathname, from which it will select a random image on the fly. The options can be changed through the Windows Control Panel, which is not possible with ACDSee's product. Gphotoshow is everything one could ever want in a screen saver.

ACDSee has always seemed focused upon superficial issues relating to look and feel rather than improving essential utilities. That is why I recommend Irfanview to other users. It may not be better than ACDSee, but then again, it might be, for all I know. I plan to give it a try next time I install a Windows OS.

The Schizophrenia Claim, Revisited

The mainstream media is in a tizzy again over research that appears to make an association between cannabis use and schizophrenia.

NORML smashes the lies to bits.

I find NORML to be one of the better blogs on the Internet in terms of writing, research, focus, and persuasiveness.

Schizophrenia has always been a problematic diagnosis in psychology. Some people do not believe that it exists, or that the definition is too broad. There are too many variables at play in the human brain. "One size fits all" seldom fits anyone. The media seems to be unaware of any such difficulty, reporting on schizophrenia as though it possessed as firm a definition as herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1). However, the main problem with mainstream media stories on cannabis is that they confuse association with causation, a common error by novices who do not understand how very difficult it is to ever really know something.

Here is the crux of the matter in regard to the cannabis-schizophrenia association documented by researchers in various countries. Those content with their life are unlikely to try inebriating substances of any variety. Those who are not content turn to medicine to heal what ails them. Some turn to traditional caregivers, such as doctors. However, a lack of health insurance causes many to seek remedies of their own. Many turn to alcohol. Others may turn to herbal medicine. Or they may pop pills, legal or not. Many resort to cannabis use, because cannabis is known to have few side effects in comparison to alcohol. Thus, when studying a large group of cannabis users, or for that matter, any class of drug users, one is bound to encounter a higher percentage of those with a different psychology, for example, what traditional psychologists term "schizo," whatever that means (there are conflicting ideas on this topic). Those who sought illegal remedies to self-medicate are unlikely to be receiving much help from the medical profession. Therefore, their prognosis is bound to be poorer than those who refrain from non-prescribed medications. It would be a step in the right direction for writers at popular media outlets to grasp at a minimum the logic contained within this paragraph before attempting to cover scientific research on this topic. But the media is more concerned with grabbing eyeballs to increase revenue, rather than printing anything that approximates the truth. The only news I ever watch on television anymore is "The Daily Show," which comes closer to reality than any of the other shows.

In the past, the media has reported that cannabis caused male sterility, homosexuality, pacifism, aggression, communism, violence, "amotivational syndrome," and a myriad of other supposed malignancies originating from the paranoid fears of the prohibitionists. Prohibiting a benign substance due to unfounded, outlandish fears is in itself a symptom of paranoia. It is the prohibitionists that exhibit signs of paranoid schizophrenia, rather than the cannabis consumers. One transparent delusion after another issues forth in their frantic defense of the indefensible, a counter-productive drug war costing billions of dollars per year with no end in sight.

This is what I believe. Sobriety is the preferred state, the one with optimal efficiency and awareness. Habitual, daily cannabis use is detrimental, although not more so than daily alcohol use. I will not go into all the reasons why, because others have walked that road before me, and I think it is self-evident. Cannabis does not seem to be a good medicine for those suffering from severe mental illness and should not be used for that purpose. However, due to its effects on memory, it may be a potential therapy for those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or memories of abuse. Those suffering from social anxiety may receive a benefit from marijuana as well. I would be interested in reviewing the research on targeted therapies for specific dysfunctions.

Substances are not always a good answer for moderate depression. Instead, cultivating adaptive strategies to stress is the key. Here is my game plan for attacking the demon of melancholy.

1. Elimination of toxic social contacts and augmentation of positive social contacts. Sever contact with psychic vampires, but increase contact with good people. There are good people in the world, but sometimes one has to go out and find them.
2. Physical exercise, particularly walking.
3. Improved nutrition, with limits placed on sugar and caffeine intake, and an increase in fruits, vegetables, seafood, and whole grain bread.
4. Interruption of negative thoughts habits, such as brooding, by changing activities/schedules. It is easy to turn into a "creature of habit," but habits must be broken if they are detrimental. For example, if participating in an online message forum is a big downer, due to trolls and hostile internet bullies, just stop doing it. Sooner or later the trolls will find themselves all alone together, and they will find solutions for one another in due course. Their solutions need not involve you.
5. Cultivation of pleasurable activities, such as new hobbies and outlets for creativity. Remember, pleasure is good. Those institutions that teach that pleasure is bad are culpable of maintaining the individual in a permanent state of depression. There are powerful forces in society that actively seek to promote melancholy, bitterness, anger, division and hatred in the world. The influence of these forces must be minimized in an individual's life in order for there to be a possibility of happiness.

The Family

Recent comment found on a media article about Uganda:

"The Family (or at least some of their members) have been very busy over the years in Uganda "improving" the country, as they probably would do with the USA if they could get away with it. Uganda now has a high rate of HIV infection, because the religious right threatened to remove aid from the country if they didn't stop pushing condoms as being the best way to prevent HIV. They'd done perfectly well and apparently had one of the lowest infection rates in Africa until they were 'helped.'

"Also, members of the Family and other affiliated organizations have been pushing that homosexuality can be cured by prayer. When Rachel Maddow reported on this, they backtracked and issued denials.

"Why on Earth Obama would want to be at the Prayer Breakfast with David Bahati baffles me. Personally, if I were Obama, I would have him banned from the country. Surely the "Kill The Gays Bill" qualifies as hate speech?

"A guy called Jeff Sharlet wrote a book on The Family called The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power. It's well worth a read."

Surreal

Truth is stranger than fiction. Some of the things I read in the media, I don't think anybody could make up.

The F.B.I. photoshopped a picture of a Spanish M.P. and passed it off as an age-progression photo of Bin Laden.

The Engrish of a University Professor

In one of my classes, a foreign professor was asked what a firewire port was. He replied that it protected against viruses and hacking. This was par for the course. He does not understand us, and we do not understand him, unless frequent repetitions are made. Only when he gives assignments do students bother asking him to repeat what he is saying. We learn on our own, using the textbook. The professor is nothing more than the warden who takes attendance and ensures that we sit still, daydreaming in class until the period ends.

Students are being cheated out of their education by these speakers of "Engrish," who should never have been hired in the first place. Professors from the English-speaking world are fine, but professors whose command of English is sub-par have no business teaching in an American classroom.

China is an Evil Nation

In China, the authorities hunt for human rights advocates using any means, including hacking.

(Incidentally, this is another article that points out the downside of using Internet Explorer.)

How to Spoof Internet Explorer in Firefox

On a rare occasion, those of us who use a browser such as Firefox or Opera may encounter a web site that bans our browser. A message pops up that says, "Sorry, you must use Internet Explorer 6, 7, or 8 in order to access this site."

There is no valid reason for any web designer to ban Firefox or Opera. The most likely motive would be a secret contract with Microsoft Corp. A less likely motive would be the personal prejudice or ignorance of the web designer. If I were designing a web page, and I have done so many a time, then I would not want to exclude a big chunk of the user population from the get-go. But in the university setting, it is possible to require students to use Internet Explorer.

To spoof IE 6, 7, or 8 in Firefox, install this add-on by Chris Pederick.

However, be aware that some sites, such as those run by university computer training providers, have cunning little tricks up their sleeve intended to limit access, even when IE is spoofed. I spent an hour this morning attempting to complete my assignments at home using Firefox spoofing IE, only to discover that the provider discards all of my classwork and returns me to the first question in an endless loop.

Find Flu Shots Near You

They may be free.

And should be.

Christian Toleration

The Christian nations of the West appear centuries ahead of the Muslim nations, even the supposedly "advanced" and "Westernized" Muslim nations like Malaysia, where a Protestant church was firebombed because a Catholic newspaper dared to use the word "Allah" in a respectful manner. (Apparently, no distinction is made in the Muslim mind between Protestant and Catholic.) Muslims in Malaysia face sanctions for a variety of harmless choices, such as converting to a different religion. Imagine the outcry if the United States prosecuted people for converting from Christianity. In the West, converting to Islam is not regarded as a matter for law enforcement and does not arouse vigilante violence. In Malaysia, the death penalty applies for a wide variety of minor offenses, such as trafficking in marijuana, and yet Malaysia happens to be one of the moderate Islamic countries, on a par with nations such as Dubai or Turkey. A more bloodthirsty religion than Islam would be difficult to find in all the world.

The Christian nations tend to look better upon inspection with regard to human rights, freedom of religion, and freedom of speech. The main exceptions to this rule would be found in Africa, where countries like Uganda are still mired in the Middle Ages and intent upon butchering and brutalizing their own people.

Part of the Joy of the Democratic Process

Politician who supports death penalty for Uganda gays:

“There is nothing really that can discourage me from moving forward. As you know, this is the process of legislation – you get criticism. This is part of the joy of the democratic process.”

- from the Irish Times

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Are you feeling the joy? I think I'm feeling something more along the lines of hate. If that guy feels joy, then it must be the joy that derives from sadism.

I'm not too sure about the Irish Times' claim that evangelical groups were behind the measure. Remember, Jimmy Carter is an evangelical Christian, too, and plenty of evangelicals don't have a problem with gays. However, there is a great deal of paranoia and distorted thinking over on the Religious Right, which comprises a subgroup within the larger group of evangelicals. I think it is safe to assume that there was transference of paranoia and distorted thinking from the West over to Africa. Uganda is a reflection of the frustration felt by the Religious Right in the U.S. They are frustrated because they are losing. Ignorance and prejudice does not play well in areas where there is freedom of speech.

According to Leviticus

"According to Leviticus, shaving one's beard is a sin. Getting a tattoo or wearing a cotton-poly T-shirt (or any garment of mixed fiber) will also incur God's wrath."

-source: p.85, "Are You Kidding Me? Fun Facts that Feel Like They Can't Be True," by Harry Bright and Jakob Answer.

Defeat in New Jersey

The New Jersey Senate defeated a gay marriage bill, which is a symbolic defeat. The lion's share of marriage privileges derive from the Fed, rather than the state. I was not holding my breath for gay marriage in New Jersey. It would not be worth it to me to move to New Jersey in order to get a state-recognized, but not federally recognized marriage.

The absence of gay marriage doesn't mean that gays won't continue to form monogamous unions or that couples won't stay together. It just presents an obstacle in the legal sphere, an obstacle that must be overcome by future generations. The arguments put forth by both sides have been recorded for posterity. As far as I'm concerned, it is obvious that the side in favor of gay marriage is right. An end to the ghetto is envisioned. Assimilation, rather than separation. Openness and forthrightness. If a more productive work force is desired, then gay marriage should become law.

The opposition to gay marriage seems small-minded in every sense of the word. I was particularly amused at one legislator's observation that in this time of economic distress, we cannot envision making such a sweeping social change. What better time? In good times, people want things to remain the same.

Here's another quote from the article: "gay marriage would weaken the social fabric by redefining one of society’s bedrock institutions." You know, I'd like to wash my social fabric. Is it polyester or cotton? Does it respond best to warm, hot, or cold water? Marriage isn't a bedrock, Sir, although it may make the bed rock. Actually, gay marriage would strengthen the social fabric. We could go from, say, silk, to nylon, which can stretch and remain strong.

If I could marry and obtain the crucial privileges bestowed by marriage, then it would have a huge impact upon my life in a practical sense, because my partner is from another country. We would no longer have to wrestle with immigration. Tens of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees and government fees could go instead toward other things in life. I could work a corporate job and get coverage for my partner thereby.

I have explained this to my friends a hundred times, but here I go again. State recognition is insufficient. The Fed controls immigration rules. Today, the immigration privilege applies to heterosexual couples only. Former Sen. Bob Barr played a role in ensuring that that particular discrepancy remained when he defeated a measure that would have addressed it as far back as the Clinton administration. Bob Barr's singing a different tune on various issues, such as marijuana, so I don't know what he thinks now, but I would have preferred that he had not interfered with my life. I'm poorer today because of Bob Barr, an ironic Libertarian. The only thing I remember him being passionate about in his career was using Government to restrict the rights of the individual.

In the current environment, there is not just discrimination to contend with, but legal exclusion. The law itself is the problem, rather than just a handful of bigots here and there. I do not know of any easy solution, because the law is unyielding, and we are trapped in a systematic injustice. My current plan is to switch careers. I plan to enter the medical profession, where I can train as a skilled worker and hopefully one day immigrate to Canada, which does have gay marriage as well as universal health care. Canada is the Promised Land for gay Americans. If you are educated and experienced, it is the place to go.

Any Takers?

When I found out today how much my blog is worth, I thought, "Dayum! time to put 'er up for sale!"

My site is worth$3,176.4Your website value?

Any takers?

The estimate may be just a tad on the optimistic side.

Cats

Between gnats and cats, I think I'd rather be a cat, a more appealing creature than a gnat. Cats are where it's at. None but a dog would refute that.

As a were-cat, I could befriend anyone worth befriending. I don't think I'd care for the diet of most house cats, though. I'd prefer to introduce myself to an old and lonely rich widow or widower, and perform tricks demonstrating superior feline intelligence. My tricks would be simple, mind you, such as standing on my hind legs and pointing up at the sky. An astonishing feat, such as communicating, would attract unwelcome notoriety, leading to scientists, confinement, experiments, x-ray machines, and dissection. As a were-cat, discretion is essential, because escape is uncertain in confined areas.

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Cats think. They have simple minds, but they think. They are poor at using tools, only because their paws were never adapted to holding. But I have watched my cat try to open a door using the same mechanism that I use, a doorknob. He climbs up on a shelf and tries to reach the doorknob, but it is difficult to grasp, and in the end he gives up. But he often attempts to open a door from the floor-level, by reaching a paw underneath and pulling the door toward him. Sometimes he succeeds.

A cat absorbs all that is around him. He looks for routes of escape, comfortable perches, inaccessible perches and hiding places, and he remembers all those details for later reference. He keeps a mental file on every human he encounters. A human that makes a favorable impression is remembered and welcomed with much purring later. A human that makes a poor impression, most often a careless child that thinks a small creature is a toy, is feared.

Cats communicate via body language most of all. They do not vocalize like we do. They are not large predators and have to get by upon stealth, which does not favor vocalizing. If your cat vocalizes, it may be a sign of learned behavior modeled upon its adoptive parent. My cat sometimes makes an utterance for no other reason than it feels bored and craves attention. This is not typical catlike behavior.

Cats are simple creatures, free of the intellectual noise of a human brain. They are not complex, but have a limited scope of thoughts. Their feelings, however, have a wider range. They are capable of just as many feelings as we are. I have seen my cats express jealousy of each other and envy of each other. They sometimes express loneliness, or fear of abandonment. Our cats know when we are about to leave on a vacation, and they don't like it at all. Cats dislike change of any kind. They prefer routine.

To read a cat's thoughts, examine its face and tail. The tail betrays irritation. If the tail twitches, the cat is annoyed or wants to use the litter box. The face expresses emotion. The eyes of a cat can be read in much the same way as the eyes of a human. As with us, a cat's narrowed eyes indicate suspicion, wrath, misgiving. Open, wide eyes may mean fear, especially if the rest of the body is tense, as though preparing for flight, or if it hunches down to make itself appear smaller. On the other hand, large eyes may mean happiness and affection, especially if it seems relaxed and cooperative.

Cats do love, but they are selfish and have a dim understanding and appreciation for what love means. Never expect consideration or sympathy from a cat when you are sick. However, a cat will return affection to a certain extent, in its own way and under its own terms.

Cats are not skilled at reading the thoughts of human beings. To them, we are mysterious giants with certain god-like powers, such as the power over light and darkness, but they soon discover that we are slow, unstealthy, and sometimes behave in ways beyond their comprehension. Cats prefer predictability, and humans are not always predictable. The phone may ring, and a few minutes later a human leaves the house for several days. The cat does not know why. It is bizarre, another strange human custom that cannot be explained.

Remember that a cat is a tiny guest, deserving care and consideration. If not raised under human supervision, it would fear us in the natural world by instinct due to our massive size. A tame animal must be treated with gentleness, so that it remains tame and does not learn to fear humans. Once a cat begins to fear humans, it will hide all the time under beds and tables and only come out for brief periods to feed. This makes a poor pet of little value to anyone, and the animal will not be happy about things either.

They do not understand all the reasons for why humans do what they do, but their fear of us leads them to follow certain rules, such as using the litter box, or refraining from the destruction of furniture. Other rules they may never master. It is better not to try to teach very much to a cat. If you can potty-train a cat, that should be enough.

I have never been able to break the cat of the habit of drinking out of the toilet. It will get a drink while I'm not looking, and the only way I know what it has done is by the wetness of its arms and face. The best solution I found is to leave the toilet seat cover down.

My cat comes when called by its name, but only sometimes. This was a voluntary habit that it learned as a result of my rewarding it with praise when it came. If other people are around, it will not obey. If it is too tired, it will not obey. Cats view commands as requests made by a friend, subject to refusal. That is how we should view our commands, as well.

Gnats

I have an infestation of gnats in my study. They are attracted to my LCD monitor, where I swat them. I'm as fast with my hands as a frog with his tongue. Well, maybe not quite that fast, but close.

I'm in awe of frogs. How can they remain stock still for hours on end, only to launch a lightening-fast attack? I hope to watch a documentary one day about frogs that explains all. About gnats, I have less interest. I understand that most of their body is composed of their jaw (or is that the flea? I don't recall).

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Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to retain all my brains, such as they are, and assume the form of a gnat. I could observe all the details of other people's lives without their being aware.

I prefer to imagine not being swatted, sprayed with insecticide, or being seized by a Venus Flytrap. Upon reflection, there are many hazards attending the life of a gnat. The sole advantage is espionage.

If I could be a gnat for a day, visit the headquarters of the rich and powerful, and then fly back home and resume the form of a human being, then I could put whatever information I obtained to good use. Maybe I could uncover scandals or crimes of great importance to the public. Or maybe I would learn of a certain stock to buy or sell at great profit, the same sort of behavior that sent Martha Stewart to prison.

I wonder if I would prove equal to the ethical challenges of being a were-gnat. I hope that I would be a good were-gnat and try to make the world a better place, rather than just enriching myself at the expense of others, as so many other lycanthropes do.

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Spell to Surrender to Sleep

A fear that enforces wakefulness may seem large and threatening, but it is a gnat in need of swatting. You are more powerful than that which you fear. Remember that life and death are not serious alternatives, but only seem so for a brief span of time. Power surrounds you and nourishes you even in the darkness. Though your ears remain alert for the approach of danger, sleep, sleep, sleep and dream, just as your ancestors did in the wilderness long ago, and remember your dreams, for they will guide you.

The First Time I Came Out

Time for a stroll down Memory Lane! This time, I'm wearing rose-tinted glasses to see what is good, disguising what was not. If the memories are altered, then so be it! I've grown weary of drama. What I want is a feel-good story.

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[A long battle with Writer's Block took place here at this spot.]

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Now I have the title. Getting the title is nine-tenths of the battle. The rest comes easy.

"The First Time I Came Out."

My brother was the first to tell me that there was a gay bar in town. I was seventeen at the time. I didn't believe him. I lived in a small Southern city in the 1980's, and homosexuality just wasn't discussed by anyone I knew, save in derogatory terms of horror, contempt and curiosity. But my brother saw the exterior of the gay bar in his travels around town. All he knew was that it had a sign out front that stated, in all capital letters (don't worry, reader, I will spare you the caps), "This is a gay bar. Do not enter the premises unless you are a homosexual." He thought the sign was funny, and so did I, but I imagine it was designed to defuse potential conflicts and misunderstandings. When I asked him where it was located, he looked at me with suspicion, and asked why I wanted to know. I looked away, made excuses and resolved never to bring the subject up again. Except I did. More than once or twice. Eventually it transpired that he had forgotten the location, or else he felt it unwise to share such dangerous information with a young and impressionable mind such as mine. Undeterred, I examined the phone book, looking for nightclubs or bars with a gay-sounding name, without success. After that, I made a couple of trips around the city, looking for the sign that my brother had described, but I never found it.

Two years later, I was taken to all of the gay bars in town in one night by an older man that I had met on my own, in the wild, so to speak. Stepping into a gay bar for the first time, as a gay man, is difficult to describe to those who are not gay, but I will try. Imagine that you are an American living in China, and you step into a bar filled with Americans. They greet you, their fellow countryman, with a smile. That is the best analogy that I can make.

I was too young to drink, and so I drank Coca-Cola. My companion had a smile as wide as mine, because he was showing me off, while I was coming to terms with not being the only one, ever again. I shook hands with many men, but remember little of what was said. It was in the line of good humor and advice to the new initiate. I did not remember the names of anyone I was introduced to. I felt happiness as well as sensory overload.

There was a good-looking black man of twenty-five or so standing beside a video game machine, and he said the only words that I remembered from the whole experience. We only looked at each other, and as if in response to the question he read in my eyes, he said, "Yes, you are beautiful." I thanked him and paid him a compliment in return. Emboldened, he asked me what my name was, and I made something up that sounded appropriate. I should have given him my number, but felt loyalty to the one who had brought me and paid my way.

No Sooner Do I Praise a Corporation...

No sooner do I write a post on my blog that praises AT&T, than I receive a postcard in the mail from AT&T destroying my favorable impression about that corporation.

I had boasted of AT&T's Internet service having 99.99% reliability. Well, that part still applies. Yesterday, AT&T sent all of their customers a nasty postcard that read, in part (paraphrasing), "your user agreement has been amended [without your consent] to let us call you at any time for telemarketing purposes. We may robocall, use anonymous numbers, or any third-party minion of our choosing to interrupt you at dinner-time with pointless adverts designed to waste your time."

New Year's Resolutions

A friend of mine resolved that from now on, he would reject any glass of wine offered at a party. I asked him what his policy would be on beer. "That," he said, "will be decided on a case-by-case basis."