Death

Death places a halo on the head of the dead, because they are blameless. To blame them is as pointless as blaming a rock, tree, or river--they are inanimate. Only the living may be blamed for the problems of today. With the dead, in most cases one thinks, they did the best they could with the resources at hand. Indeed in some cases, it is fantastic they could do what they did do, while laboring under such tremendous handicaps. It is important to forgive and forget whenever possible. To brood upon the past makes us vulnerable to the powers of darkness that are so eager to gain a foothold into our world. Some of those on the global scene that brood over the past are those Republicans who want to do no trade with Cuba, even though our dispute with them is fifty years old, and Cuba is no worse than China, objectively--in fact, China is far more a threat to us. North Korea and Iran brood over the past. Putin broods over the past. Those who idealize the Southern Confederacy, they too brood over the past too much. Live in the present.

Although forgiveness isn't necessary, by any means, I do forgive my dead father all his real or perceived faults without exception. He was more than good enough. He was wonderful, judged in the context of his burden, and that is the only way we should judge other people. It is easy for strong people with sound minds to be proud and powerful when put to the test. They do not have to make as much effort. They do not suffer as much. To be mentally ill is a tremendous burden. Just imagining it is frightening. Living it is worse. I read the list of side effects for his medicine the other day and that helped me understand a great deal.

The reason I have never taken acid or any powerful drug is that I fear the loss of control, the giving of the self over to the Random, to evil spirits, psychosis, or self-hypnosis, or whatever takes its place. This is also the reason that other people abstain from powerful drugs--and also heavy drinking or heavy pot smoking, because even the milder substances, when taken in great excess, can impair our sense of self-control. We do fear the loss of control and are wise to do so.

My father had many good qualities, and most importantly, he intended to do good. Conscience was  powerful in him as it is in me, and this, I think, is the seed of goodness, for without conscience, what guide have we? There is no invisible guardian standing ready to cast black magic upon us, should we do ill to others, although I think there should be. We refrain from evil not so much out of fear of the law or of societal disapproval or for our own insignificant lives, but rather out of fear of committing Sin, which alienates a human being from communion with the consciousness that pervades all things, the Force, as Obi Wan-Kenobi and Yoda described it in "Return of the Jedi." Perhaps that is indeed what God is, rather than a single being. And, perhaps we are not single beings either, and individuality is an illusion, but we are all avatars of the One, and all of us are interconnected, whether we know it or not. Those that are evil delude themselves in thinking they are separate. They are wholly sold on the illusion of individuality. After the brief span of a man's days, the illusion is dispelled. What remains of an evil-doer's savage individuality is a rotting corpse, food for worms. Those that are good perceive, maybe dimly, but they perceive an invisible network connecting all living beings. They exist not only for the benefit of self, but for the benefit of others as well, because the self is transitory, and others will inherit the earth.