This morning, I thought what a good thing it was that I didn't have kids. Some people should have kids. They know who they are. I just don't think that there's anything in me that is terribly unique or valuable that it needs to be preserved through another generation. I never earned over 60K a year, never managed employees, never published a book or story, never made any discovery scientific or otherwise, and never got elected to office. So, in my opinion, what's the point? I'm reconciled with extinction, if not oblivion. I still find the thought of death frightening for various reasons and therefore seek to avoid it by all means.
I remember one of my old friends, an eighty year old, told me that he was not afraid of Death. He lies about anything in order to make himself look better. The truth is not important, only appearances. He wants to appear brave. In reality, Death frightens him, because if it did not, then he would already be dead. Those who stop fearing Death altogether simply die and that is that. It is a great effort to remain alive. In the first place, one must eat. Hunger is simply Death scratching at the window. Those who fear Death eat in order to keep the window closed and the monster outside. There are many measures that one can take, great and small, in order to prolong life, and he takes them all and even some measures that had never occurred to me.
Extinction of my "line," though, does not bother me. The way I see it, if there were anything remarkable that was worth preserving, something so unusual that it would be a crime not to pass it on to future generations, then it would have showed in my own life. Many were the manuscripts I submitted to publishers, and many were the applications I made for better jobs and careers. Many were the projects I embarked upon only to watch wither and fail. But the most compelling reason not to procreate, in my opinion, was the utter lack of a suitable female, one with at least equal intellect (although one would hope for more), abilities, and physical health. There were absolutely no willing and suitable mothers, so the entire question of whether to procreate was and is an academic one. I am glad that I did not.
I differ from, I think, many people in finding it irresponsible to procreate with just any partner. I could have done so many times, but I felt that it was a mistake and did not do it. I think being gay was very helpful in that regard, giving me ample protection from the urge that drives heterosexual men to procreate with unworthy women. There are many unworthy women, just as there are unworthy men. In my opinion, people should never mate with a lesser, only with their equals or superiors. To dilute the blood is worse by far than abortion, because the consequences are incalculable, persisting for generations until the end of the line, and who knows what all of those future people will be capable of? Abortion, in that light, can sometimes be an act of absolute good, serving the highest morality.
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