GOP Staffer

If you're a staffer for a political party, then you want to stay anonymous, or at least not become known for something boneheaded like this.

Hey, pray for a brain while you're at it. Geez.

Ferguson

Put Ferguson into perspective. In India, the cops won't even investigate a murder if one is from a low caste. I think people forget how corrupt and stupid the rest of the world is in comparison to the U.S. Go and destroy everything, and what we will be left with is a place just like India.

I think Ferguson is open and shut. A cop got too rough with a crook. Period. It's not on the same level as the assassination of Harvey Milk, where the killer got off with a very light sentence by the way. Harvey was shot in cold blood in a planned, premeditated fashion, and he had not committed any crime either.

Open any given newspaper to find an example of a black man with a gun, arrested by law enforcement and facing charges. There are an awful lot of examples of this. I would like to know what is proposed to be done about the real problem, thuggery in the black community. That is a bigger problem than an individual incident or even a series of incidents where a law enforcement agent overreacted. Every once in a while there is going to be a mistake made, but that doesn't mean lose all trust in law enforcement and go riot in the street and tear up things and raise hell. I just don't believe all law enforcement is racist, for the simple fact that there are a lot of black cops. I do believe there are racist cops, but I don't think they represent a majority of cops. When there are bad cops, they should be arrested and put into the justice system just like any other offender.

Where is all the gratitude when a killer is taken off the streets? Where is the gratitude for the peace and quiet and calm that is due to effective law enforcement? I think it is nice to not have to worry about killers running around robbing and shooting people, and that is due to law enforcement, not due to protesters getting upset about an incident they did not witness. I still do not have a clear picture of exactly what happened in that incident, but I do know that the deceased had just come back from robbing a store, and that doesn't put a halo on his head. He and his friend were walking in the middle of the road, going out of their way to annoy and inconvenience other people. I'm willing to believe what the cop and the eyewitnesses say about the actions of the deceased.

If there are enough cops on the street carrying firearms and enough violent incidents, then I think it stands to reason there is going to be a certain percentage of cases where those firearms are discharged in a way that people don't like. Things get mixed up in a tussle, and the logical mind finds it difficult to focus, once the fight-or-flight mechanism kicks in. There is a margin of error and it is something anyone with an engineering background understands. Bring imperfect components together, and eventually there is going to be a certain rate of error. That doesn't mean there's a vast conspiracy against blacks or that racism is rampant. It just means that people are human.


I think Ferguson is much ado over nothing. In Ferguson, you have a lot of outsiders coming in bringing their own agenda, pursued by their own demons and projecting their own past and their own experiences onto a separate incident that did not involve them. The violent rhetoric being tossed around is the product of unhealthy minds, some of which lack any sense of fairness or morality. Minds driven by hate, that is what I see in the protesters in Ferguson. The United States is one of the least racist societies in the entire world, particularly compared to extreme racist African nations like Zimbabwe. A glance at Africa overall makes one glad to live in the U.S., a color blind society, where race does not matter, and it is possible to get ahead no matter what background one is from. No country in the world has the amount of legal protections and opportunities for minorities that the United States does. Go to India, Russia, China, Iran, Uganda. Then come back to the U.S. and say with a straight face that they are any better.

Ambition

My ambition is to write a good novel, a real page-turner that readers love to read again and again. I have ideas all the time, but seldom the time, energy or confidence to go through with them. To me, what Tolkien accomplished was magic of the highest order. It is the art form I appreciate most of all, the painting of wondrous pictures that do not mirror reality, but surpass it. Words are my paint, only because I'm untrained and untried and probably unskilled in any other format. I realize words are out of fashion, too, but that's just too bad. I can't all of a sudden change direction and become a painter because everyone is goo-goo over graphics nowadays.

Arrogance

Arrogance amuses me.

The tiniest frog in a small pond croaks loudly, announcing itself as the ruler of the Universe. So many tiny frogs!

Meanwhile, real genius plods along quietly, without the peculiar need to trumpet every little triumph.

And what is Man after all but a slightly evolved primate? Should we be so proud, truly, when suffering and Death claims each of us so soon? When problems intractable beset ourselves and our society? When our very race is ever on the brink of self-annihilation? Bah!

Why I Don't Go to the Movies

Today I saw $25 AMC Regal Cinema gift cards going for $20. It made me wonder whether I would even be interested if they were going for $10. I am certainly not interested at $20.

Long ago, cinema owners went out of their way to make the movie-going experience horrible. Lousy, unhealthy, overpriced food and drinks that I would not feed an animal, commercials!--just like watching TV at home, long lines and exorbitant ticket prices persuaded me only a fool would buy a ticket to see a movie. That is why I have not been out to see a movie for years. I still don't think cinema owners know what time of day it is. In order for cinema owners to draw crowds back in, they would have to make the experience nice, and they have no clue how to do that. I am looking forward to the day when the cinemas close down for good and stay closed and all that space gets used for something interesting like a theater.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki were Justified

I've been reading a biography of Dr. Richard Feynmann--Genius--and remembered the old controversy, which I first read about in the People's Almanac and later Howard Zinn, regarding President Truman's decision to nuke Japan during WW2. I think later events have confirmed Truman was right to make the difficult decision. One does not condemn entire towns to destruction lightly, but I think that leftists were wrong to ignore the fate of millions of American GI's and their allies. What we did not need in this country were more casualties and expenses from a long, expensive war that was the fault of Japan, Germany and Italy, the aggressors.

Japan should send the U.S. a thank-you note and a gift every year on the anniversary of Hiroshima and on the anniversary of Nagasaki, just to let us know how grateful they are that we ended their vicious military dictatorship and bestowed upon them a gentle, mild, republican form of government under which they have prospered. If the war had continued, then much needless bloodletting would have occurred, and many men would not have returned from that war, which would impact many generations far into the future. Sometimes the patient requires a harsh medicine to eliminate an infection.

Whenever an evil, warmongering tyranny gets its due, that is not an atrocity, that is poetic justice. In truth, we should and would have nuked Berlin, if the bomb had been ready, and it may be that Germany would have been better off for it, if it could have avoided the destruction caused by the last year of conventional warfare and the separation of their territory into two opposing sides, East and West.

I find Feynmann's life inspiring. The U.S. gained much due to its milder anti-Semitism. We were not entirely benevolent to the Jews but certainly much more welcoming than Europe. When Nazi Germany began persecuting the Jews, they lost one-fourth of their physicists, among other intellectuals. Of course it was stupid, self-destructive, pseudoscientific nonsense on their part, just like homophobia is today. Purge people at random for no good reason, and you stand to lose some of your best and brightest, as well as a lot of innocent and good people.

99% of Traffic is Spam

There. I've said it.

99% of all traffic to this blog is generated by spam affiliates from Russia and the Ukraine, the unsavory crime-ridden ghettoes of cyberspace, and other locales in eastern Europe and China.

Why they waste their time scanning this blog probably has to do with mentions of Putin and other keywords, but even before I started blogging about that, they were responsible for at least 50% of the traffic.

Self-promoting Symantec did no one any favors by revealing their discovery of Regin and should be fined several billion dollars or nationalized outright. Symantec did not discover the Regin virus until too late, and its discovery is more in the lines of a confession than a scoop. I do not use overpriced Symantec anti-virus, a system resource hog. Why pay for these ineffective antiviruses that cannot detect viruses, when quiet, effective Microsoft Security Essentials (or Windows Defender) is 100% free?

Russia really needs a lot of  cyberespionage directed at it, and if the NSA is not responsible, then the NSA would be irresponsible. Under Putin, Russia represents evil incarnate, and any means used against it are justified, in the same way that any means are justified against the HIV virus or Ebola. Putrid Putin has the same level of morality, philosophy and aesthetic taste as the Ebola or HIV virus, which is to say none at all, and he has the same influence upon the world. To support Putrid and his Putridity is to be aligned with evil. I hope to see the day when Putrid is put in the ground where he belongs. Dump his carcass in the same pit as his soul-mate Stalin. He murdered Russia's democracy.

Obamacare's Stupidity

The most damnfool thing Obama did was to create a penalty for folks that don't sign up for health care because they can't afford it. Yes, one can apply for exemptions, but I have discovered it to be an onerous, time-wasting experience that can take 40 - 60 hours of paperwork and phone calls with Health and Human Services. Basically, HHS wants about 20 documents proving that one's income is low, and they request almost every bit of sensitive financial information available, opening up the applicant to the horrors of identity theft if that information gets lost in the mails. That is why the Democrats richly deserved defeat in the 2014 election, because they suffered from extreme mental retardation in taxing the poor between $95 - $1000, adding insult to injury to those who cannot afford health insurance due to financial hardship.Why Obama and the Democrats declared war on the poor and the middle class, I don't know, but they did, and I am one of the ones suffering because of the class warfare seeking to further impoverish the already poor. What we don't need in this country is additional paperwork requirements on top of the already heavy burden. Maybe the Democratic elite can afford to sit around all day filling out papers, but those who work for a living have other priorities, such as putting food on the table. The penalty should not exist, was a stupid idea, and let us hope the Republicans have sense enough to tweak that part of the plan rather than eliminating health care altogether. That perhaps may be too optimistic.

Sucks To Be Poor

I was not too pleased to read about Microsoft replacing security guards with robots. They probably spent a princely sum on the robots, all for the sake of giving some poor guys making $15 an hour the pink slip.

At least the idle aristocrats of Downton Abbey had enough of a conscience to employ the lower classes and think about their welfare. There is something to be said for sharing the wealth and bringing employment to a community, and yes, Microsoft does "owe" the community in which it does business.

It has always sucked to be poor, perhaps more so before the advent of Obamacare, but in the future, all bets are off. Computers and robots keep getting smarter, whereas our pace of evolution is at a standstill according to most authorities. It's not our fault that we can't replace the "chip" inside our brains with a newer and faster "chip". Biological science has not yet advanced to the stage where we can design our offspring or ourselves.

I think that as more people become unemployed and unemployable due to the replacement of humans with computers, there will be a larger group of hungry, poor, discontented people, eager for any type of change, including war. Of course nothing will be done to stop global warming, and the coming scarcity of resources such as drinking water, food and electricity will be a huge pressure upon the lower classes.

 The writing on the wall is evident in the U.S. Our vast army of law enforcement officers, already unprecedented in its numbers and resources, will expand and transform, under Republican leadership and guidance, into a kind of Schutzstaffel, eliminating "undesirables," that is, the lower class, and protecting the property of the rich, more or less as it does now. The rich today murder and go free, whereas the poor are jailed and occasionally killed for the slightest infraction. Ferguson could be a harbinger of things to come. Perhaps in the final analysis, it is a good thing that the U.S. has such liberal gun laws, because the Schutzstaffel of the future will not hold all the cards.

I really hope that sanity prevails. I also hope that our scientists develop a way to improve the human animal. Throughout history, science has proven more of a beneficial influence on the human condition and especially on the lower classes than any politicians. Just learning how to prevent the spread of common diseases by washing hands on a regular basis was a huge step forward in medical science and of greater value than anything any politician ever did. The nurses and doctors that insisted upon hand-washing were great heroes of civilization.

I hope that the right-wingers that America elected into office don't drag the country down into war, famine, disease and misery. Just because there is something that makes people happy and more productive does not mean that you have to destroy it. Republicans want to end Obamacare, immigration liberalization and even the minimum wage, and they don't seem to care about Social Security either. What is so bad about paying a worker $11 an hour instead of $7.25 an hour? It seems to me that right-wingers want to pull the wings off butterflies just for the sake of doing it. And then there are some people that would rather pay $1 million for a damn robot than $30,000 a year for a human being to work a job. What is the human supposed to do? Join Islamic jihad?

Keystone Pipeline

I've decided I'm for the Keystone Pipeline's expansion. Environmentalists oppose it because they mistakenly think that extracting oil from tar sands is more environmentally damaging than conventional oil extraction. They fail to understand the economics of oil. Every dollar we send the Muslims in the Middle East gets used on terrorism, sooner or later, one way or the other, which means the U.S. has to transport men, equipment and resources thousands of miles and conduct bombing raids and long-term missions costing trillions of dollars and pumping gigatons of carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide into the atmosphere. The very idea that getting oil from Alberta is worse than getting it from the fanatics in Saudi Arabia and Iran is offensive to common sense. For my part, I would rather pay the Canadians twice for their oil, than pay the Muslim fanatics once, and I think any environmental damage calculated by environmentalists will inevitably fail to take into consideration the cost of terrorism and fanaticism in the Middle East. What we don't need in Washington, D.C. is defeatist, stupid rhetoric about global warming that fails to take into consideration today's reality that we need oil, period, end of discussion, and don't want to hear anymore about it. Build the goddamn pipeline already and let's quit funding the global Islamic jihad and the butchering of Christians. A dollar sent to the Arabs is a dollar spent on putting a bullet through the head of a Westerner either today or tomorrow. The only thing the Arabs use money for is their own pleasure and Islamic jihad. They perform zero scientific research, contribute zero to civilization, morality and culture, and have nothing to say about any of the sciences and any of the arts. At least Canada is a civilized country, so let's do business with them.

Israel

The United States is fortunate we don't have a sizable population of fanatical Muslims who despise education and think the only legitimate purpose in life is terrorism. I'm not as concerned about the immigrants from south of the Border. They seem pretty mild-mannered compared to the lunatics that Israel has to deal with. Really, Israel behaves with remarkable, saint-like restraint, considering the provocations they receive on a daily basis.

Aid in the Middle East?

ISIS beheads Western aid workers that are trying to help people in the Middle East.

What if Western countries behead the family of jihadists and post the video on YouTube? That we don't do that, but ISIS does, demonstrates our moral superiority. Even so, it would be a good idea to revoke the citizenship of all families that have jihadi members. Exile them where they belong, in the middle of Syria. They can fantasize about blowing themselves up for Allah all they want over there. The stupidity of Islam belongs in the Middle East, land of the crazy.


The only "aid" the Middle East needs is carpet-bombing. Food, medical aid, and money are entirely unnecessary and only exacerbate the problem over there. It is like dropping cupcakes into a roach nest. You're just going to get more roaches as a result. Sooner or later they raise the black flag with chicken-scratch on it and start killing anyone that doesn't believe the same things they do.

Weed Say Nay

Weed Say Go

When forgotten is the one that fed us in ancientdom,
and spirit has need to feed, then feed it may on weed.






Weed Say Nay


When spirit knows not pain,
then in the material world remain,

For that too has many wonders.


I find that weed makes me moderate and mild, a wall-flower content to be a wall-flower. Of course it is not easy to be productive under the influence. There are times when I think weed can be helpful, but perhaps it is mainly for vacationers and retirees who have time and resources to spend traveling in the spirit world.

Unknown Dungeon Crawl Bug

I have profited from an unknown bug in the latest Dungeon Crawl that transforms formicids into truly awesome beings. Of course, I see no reason to inform the devs. They read my blog anyway and seem to clip away those parts of the game I happen to be using to my advantage. So, perhaps ten years from now I may mention my precise exploit...or not. But wait, now. Am I really using formicids? Perhaps I'm using felids instead. Or orcs. My memory isn't very precise on these matters of exploitable information.

I alone in the world, apparently, am aware of a bug that is immediately evident from the very start of the game and has survived many a version. I think it will be safe from detection for quite some time, well-hidden as it is, for the devs cannot find it without divining my secret, although there is always the danger they will stumble upon it by accident, as I did.

No Duh

High-falutin business executives are as stupid as wood when it comes to computers. Who would have thought?

I think the easiest thing in the world for a hacker to do is target a CEO, because those people are as stupid as the day is long in my experience. They know nothing, but know certain important people, hence their job and their salary. Never ask a CEO to think about anything, because they don't think. They hire people to do all their thinking for them and tell them what to think. So in order to extract sensitive financial and technological information from a corporation, all one has to do is deceive a damned fool, the top leader of that corporation, and that's pretty easy to do.

"Oh, I'm in at a fancy hotel owned by god knows who. It must be okay to use the Internet here and chat all night long about secrets that are worth millions of dollars. It must be okay... because I'm frankly too lazy and too stupid to think about why it might not be okay."

Really I think most CEOs are not worth even a tenth portion of their salary. I have yet to see any that are really admirable. Fancy suit, good at public speaking, bold and confident, good with people's names--that's about as far as it goes. Okay, you remembered my name. Maybe I forgot yours. Big goddamn deal. Could you reason your way out of a paper bag? The only thing most CEOs know is about sending jobs over to China to save on labor costs, stabbing Uncle Sam in the back. For that, they get millions or billions in bonuses. Whup-de-do, you're a genius. That's what the CEO knows, along with strike-breaking and slashing salaries and benefits.

The Internet's Not Fair

We didn't evolve to use the Internet. Period.

We evolved to live in a world where we could whisper and not usually be heard. A world where we could say disposable, temporary things that then become mere hearsay. A world where we could speak our minds, in other words.

The Internet is unforgiving. It never forgets and it never forgives. This is one excellent reason to strive toward anonymity in one's public postings. Yet one must also remember that if the fancy struck them, law enforcement could unmask an anonymous person in all of five minutes at maximum. Very little effort is required and apparently no warrant these days, when the Bill of Rights is held as an obsolete document binding common folk only and not anyone in government.

So I do feel sorry for the random folks that just don't get the Internet, just aren't prepared for the modern world we live in and just can't deport themselves online with the requisite caution. Working people such as this public school teacher can lose their jobs over ill-considered utterances along the lines of Kill Whitey. Sitting around at home in the evening while in one's cups leads folks to say their heart-felt desires and fears, as has been the case for thousands of years, but today it brings profound social consequences. Perhaps lack of social awareness and lack of discipline is sufficient cause for a teacher to be fired. Teaching has always been a politically and socially sensitive role. Socrates was put to death for less. For my part, I would prefer that the teacher be granted a reprieve in exchange for a public apology, because this could be a learning experience not just for her but for students and teachers around the country as well. Let the teacher be if she apologizes and retracts the offending words, with the understanding that any additional offense will result in termination. I would also recommend that she should get off Twitter, get off Facebook and stay off. It's not hard and would be for the best. What is so great about being connected 24/7? We need to disengage ourselves sometimes.

Through long and painful experience, I have learned to, first of all, moderate what I say, so that nothing said is violent or threatening, unless it be toward the official enemies of the country I live in. In my best state of mind, I don't approve of violent of threatening impulses, but a plant will absorb certain elements of the environment it finds itself in. In the second place, I control which venue of the Internet I express my opinions. A little-known blog is a good sandbox to deposit my perhaps controversial opinions, which nobody cares about in the first place. People aren't terribly interested in other people's opinions, it turns out, unless those opinions coincide with their own. As we conceal certain portions of our body, we also should conceal certain portions of our thoughts in order to get along with others. I want to get along not only with those who think as I do on politics, but with everyone that I possibly can. If a so-called conservative likes me first, then finds out in stages that I am liberal, then I am a good ambassador of the liberal cause, and he may have cause to question his opinions. If first the conservative find out I am liberal, then they may never like me at all, because tribalism kicks in and they view me through a distorted lens.

Poison for Putin

The way to check Russia over its brinksmanship is by proactively shooting their planes from the sky the minute they seem the slightest bit aggressive. The same policy should be employed against Russian naval vessels.

Assassins should be dispatched to improve Putin's mind by rendering it into fertilizer. A bit of obscure poison would do the trick, as that old KGB hand Putin has done to his own enemies in the past. Think on the difference to world history if Hitler had been assassinated. There are times when assassination is morally justified, and the case of Putin certainly makes a potent argument for a potent poison. Putin deserves death a thousand times over. Place Putin in the grave as a warning to those that follow.

Iraq & Syria as Magnets

It's actually a good thing Iraq and Syria act like magnets for all the radical Muslim hotheads around the world. Concentrate 'em in one place and bomb 'em to hell. That sounds like a better scenario than their lingering in the West causing mischief here at home. Assimilate or annihilate. The West is never going to be the land of the Koran.

The Daily Show is Righteous

The Daily Show is probably the most moral television that has ever existed. Today I watched an episode where the show actually took one of its own advertisers to task. I thought to myself, "Only the Daily Show would do that. In a hundred years, only the Daily Show." It really is the one television show that is worth watching above all others. That single show is better than all the content of all the other channels, combined, that is, if one has a sense of humor, morality, and cares about this country at all. I always get the sense that the Daily Show will be one of the very few television shows still watched a thousand years from now. There will be, as there is now, great interest in it.

Lynch

Loretta Lynch seems perfect for the job of Attorney General in a lot of different ways. Obama is handing the Republicans a hand grenade. Reject her, and the racism will be pretty obvious and blatant. I like her already.

I just hope she has a more realistic attitude toward marijuana than Eric Holder did. Holder lived in a fantasy world where marijuana is arsenic. In the real world, marijuana is non-toxic and non-addictive. Let's hope Lynch lives in the real world rather than a paranoid-fantasy world.

NX Not Worth Playing

Nemelex Xobeh is not worth playing anymore for any player in Dungeon Crawl. The devs decided they didn't like NX, so they made him unplayable. I think Dungeon Crawl may have reached a point of diminishing returns, where instead of creating new features, the devs just clip the features that they don't understand or else manipulate the game so that it favors their particular cherished class/profession. NX used to make the Mummy race playable...

Mexico, Crime Capital of the World

After reading about the mass-murder of college students, and given the drug war and the massive corruption that is commonplace in Mexico, I would not visit Mexico even if all expenses were paid and $10,000 were offered. I think tourism to Mexico is really suffering, because no one with half a brain would go to that hell-hole of crime, depravity and corruption. Mexico should just abolish itself and become a dependency of the United States. As a country, it is not worth preserving.

Milk Does a Body No Good

Turns out milk is bilk. The government recommended milk for generations just to bilk consumers out of their money. The government provides a lot of things, but objective truth isn't one of them. Look no further than the government's policy on marijuana to confirm that our laws are based upon lies. One goes to jail for longer for marijuana than for murdering someone. People get off scot-free if they kill, like O.J. Simpson did, but if they get caught with enough weed, they can go to the slammer for life. Really many of our laws were crafted with a narrow agenda, simply to boost one product or another and eliminate or reduce competition from another product. This is because politicians sell their hearts and minds to the highest bidder with no regard to what might be good for the country.

NORML's Happy

I'm not too pleased by the Republicans' takeover of the Senate, but NORML's happy, and they have good reason to be so. People may be voting Republican, but they are also voting to legalize marijuana, and it's about time. One day, the U.S. may revert the status of cannabis back to the way it was prior to the 1930s. Weed was never a problem in the U.S. until the politicians got it in their head to make it into a problem. The U.S. does not need any artificially manufactured problems. We have enough real problems to deal with. It is time for the politicians to get their act together and recognize what science says about cannabis.

Religious Fascists

Religious fascists wasted no time condemning a young woman's choice of suicide over daily suffering with a terminal illness. They want to put people like her in jail. I think she was right to make the choice that she did. Culture of death, my foot.

I think that religious fascists are the ones that belong in jail, or at any rate away from civilized society, whether they are Muslim or Christian or whatever that makes them want to interfere in other people's lives. They suffer from a severe mental illness, the compulsion to control other people, and need to be treated psychologically. One doubts that traditional educational methods would work for the religious fascist. Electroshock therapy, administered daily, simulating the pain and suffering the young woman above experienced, is just the thing to get them to understand that sometimes, people want to die and that they should have that basic human right.

We as a species are moving away from a culture of darkness and death, which is religious fascism, and toward a culture of reason, which is aligned with all that is good in the world. The religious fascists know that they have lost. They know they are on the wrong side of history. Some of them even know that they are wrong and that they serve the darkness. They are in it because religion is easy money. Not much work involved, is there, honey?

Climate Change

Now that gay marriage is all but certain to be the law of the land, climate change will be the next huge political issue in the U.S., and as usual, Republicans are on the wrong side of it. The cost to reduce carbon emissions is miniscule, laughable really, but Republicans act like doing anything will destroy the economy. Just like gay marriage destroyed marriage, huh? D'oh! And I suppose legalized marijuana will end the civilized world as we know it. The hysteria just goes on and on. Why do people find it so difficult to think?

The Closet

The closeting of so many gay and lesbian people back in the day meant that there was nobody around to talk to when I was growing up gay. Therefore, like many before me, I grew up believing I was the only one in the whole wide world, despite there being hundreds of millions of us, as we now know for a fact. Back in those days, the occasional gays outed in the media seemed remote and alien, unfathomable, unreal even, impossible to imagine. Meanwhile, the environment at school, where anybody who was gay kept quiet about it, meant no boyfriends and no real friends, no one that could understand me or what made me tick. There were some people I suspected probably were gay, but they were just as confused and uncertain as I was, if not more so.

The one best friend I had in middle school betrayed me in high school, becoming an enemy after he calculated it would serve his interests better. Due to his paranoid, unhappy mother, he belonged to a small church that was crazy and right-wing, and he wanted to please his mother, so he believed it was wrong to smile and good to frown, and all he did served that end. I never recall his mother smiling in all the days I knew her, so she had picked her church well. Now I smile to think that he lives on Queen St.

I used to want to write an autobiography because I thought that the people from my past and myself were important, but over the years, I decided that the opposite was true. I am not important, first of all. There is little from the past I want to remember, and many of the people from my past, that is to say friends and associates in school, were not particularly pleasant, to put it mildly. I am a loyal friend, one who tends to remember and repay good deeds, like a social accountant, and so in my writing, I used to feel obliged to express this loyal, sentimental fondness for old friends, even ones that betrayed me, due to random kindnesses I remembered, and I have a long memory, but like an infatuated lover, I had glossed over their faults, forgiven their sins, only remembering later in bits and pieces that puzzled me at first until I grasped the meaning. They are best left to oblivion. I even have trouble recalling some of their names. Drink deep of Lethe.

What is important is now. Now is the only thing relevant. Now I am out. There is no big deal about being gay. That is an old thing, an established thing, and is no longer important, no more than other physical or intellectual traits. Now I have a husband. Now I have a happy and stable life and hope for the future. Now I have ordered my life in a reasonable facsimile of the way I think things ought to be. Now is fuel for writing, for creativity energized by positive good, rather than drawing upon the powers of darkness.

Voting

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who doesn't vote has no business complaining about the government. The government doesn't require that much of citizens in comparison to Ancient Egypt. If more people voted, then more people would pay attention to what is going on in politics. People who aren't paying attention are the reason this country is in the mess it is in.