Tuesday, July 29, 2014

How much does a positive review cost?

How much did the tyrants in China pay for all the positive reviews that Deepin has received in the Linux press--reviews that completely miss the main point, that Deepin was developed by a fascist tyranny for a reason that has not yet been revealed.

Hint: the reason probably has to do with using the personal computers of unsuspecting nerds around the world to steal passwords, information, bandwidth, and computing power.

I watched a BBC Storyville documentary the other day called "China's Bleak House," that reveals how China treats the poor. Those poor people that dare to complain about their treatment by corrupt officials are beaten, tortured, dispossessed of whatever meager possessions they have, separated from their families, witness their families getting beaten, and have all manner of ill visited upon their heads for merely asking for justice.

It was a depressing show, and I tuned out late in the show when a peasant woman was pushed in front of a train by goons. The police did not bother investigating her murder, and they did not even bother cleaning up the body parts. Her friends walked along the tracks the next day and found parts of her jaw bone, skull, and even a large portion of her hand. This illustrates what I think about China. It may have pilfered a lot of our technology and stolen our jobs, but the country remains tyrannical and does not give a damn about its working class. It is one of the worst places in the world to work.

I think Westerners that install things like Deepin on their computers have no knowledge of world affairs or history.

However, there are a lot of Westerners that would gladly buy their food from China and absorb all manner of heavy metals and carcinogens into their bodies because they think all countries are equal. Good luck with that. For my part, I think I will buy my food from local farmers and get my software from people that live in democratic lands where people can provide feedback without worrying about the police coming a-knocking on their door.


Deepin?

I'm surprised none of the reviews I've read about Deepin, including at Distrowatch, make any bones about Deepin being developed in China. You know, the same country that has been hacking Western corporations, governments and private citizens for years. China has about a million reasons to want to push a Linux distro, and none of them are benevolent. In Distrowatch's interview with a developer, I read that Deepin has 30 developers. Actually I thought there would be more, given that the Red Army is actively engaged in computer hacking. I would not touch a Chinese distro. Lose the illusion! China is a tyranny; there is no free speech, no real justice system and the government does whatever the heck it wants to do, whenever the heck it wants to do it. No matter how many positive reviews Deepin buys for cheap in the online press, the fact remains it derives from a highly suspect source.

Hamas and Its Tunnels

Instead of building hospitals or trying to improve the economy, Hamas builds tunnels to murder and kidnap civilians. The responsibility for the current conflict is all on the side of Hamas. No country in the world would accept terrorists pouring across the border through secret underground tunnels.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Here's for Linux Mint XFCE

One thing I like in Linux Mint Xfce and that I don't see in Netrunner KDE is the ability to right-click a file, choose a program to open it, and then teach the desktop to always use that program in the future. With Netrunner, it's an ongoing battle to have it use Jedit to open up .sql, .html, .shtml. Netrunner wants to always use Kate, which is extremely limited and has a lot of problems dealing with plain text files. I cannot even open, as root, using Jedit, a text file at all in Dolphin and have given up on what should be an elementary procedure that even Windows 3.1 was capable of managing.

What I have had to do in Netrunner as a workaround is drop to the terminal in the directory with my .sql file and enter sudo jedit suchandsuch.sql each and every time I need to edit the file. That annoyance is enough to make me not want to use Netrunner in the future, and combined with KDE's propensity to freeze, then reboot the desktop for no apparent reason makes me not want to choose KDE in the future as a desktop. I think I will stick with good, old, tried-and-true XFCE, Linux Mint edition, thank you very much.

It is impossible to register for Netrunner's forum, so raising the issue there is a no-go.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Vandals in Paris

The vandals in Paris that torched Jewish businesses should be prosecuted for hate crimes. Perhaps France does not understand the meaning of the rule of law. If mob violence is to rule, then what is the point of having a government at all?

The only reason that some people, especially in Europe, go on against Israel is not because of ethics, but because their hearts are cold and their minds are blank, and they're playing the game of hopping on the bandwagon with the apparently popular choice.
 
A country such as Israel has every right to defend itself against rocket attacks. There is not a country in the world that would turn a blind eye if rockets were pouring in across their border and terrorists were creeping out of underground tunnels and murdering teenagers. Nations go to war for far less. Building underground tunnels into a neighboring nation constitutes a violation of border. Hamas invaded Israel. Period. End of story.

It would be a different matter, aye, if Israel launched a war unprovoked. Some people live in an alternate universe where they pretend that is the case. Some people don't care what the facts are. There are a lot of people with tribal loyalties that will just hurrah for their team no matter what their team is doing.

What needs to happen for peace is that Hamas needs to stop pursuing violence as a means to an end. They need to disarm and engage the Israelis in sincere negotiations in good faith--and, yes, give even more than they think they should. They need to show themselves as bigger than their enemy thinks they are.

As long as they remain small-minded and intent upon perpetuating a cycle of hate and violence, then hate and violence is all they will ever get, even if it persists for ten thousand years.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Way to Report War

I don't like hearing about numbers of Palestinians killed and numbers of Israelis killed. The way to report on war is in totals--the total number of human beings killed. They are the same and genetically not very different.

The reason that the war persists is that Iran and Hamas continue to refuse to recognize Israel's right to exist. There is no point dwelling in the 1940s and continuing a generations-old conflict over what happened before most people were even born. Israel is a civilized state that operates in a rational manner and by rules and procedures. Hamas is nothing but a gang of thugs addicted to the bribes given them by Iran.


Hamas is like a flea infection in a big woolly dog. Periodically, the dog has to be given a thorough flea bath to kill the fleas. The flea bath is very unpleasant. The dog doesn't like it and complains, but it's necessary, because otherwise the fleas sneak out and kill human beings. The dog is not intelligent enough to remove the fleas on its own and needs help to do so.

CNN has a good essay exposing Hamas and its culture of lies, stupidity and cowardice. It is not a culture worth preserving.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Putin's Russia Sucks

Putin is an idiot, and Putin's Russia sucks.

Shooting down an airliner for no reason is the capstone on Putin's life and career as a thug.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

KDE Likes to Crash

One of the rude bugs of KDE is that it likes to crash when I'm browsing the Internet. Firefox will suddenly freeze for a solid minute, after which Netrunner throws up an error message saying, "The KDE desktop had to be restarted because the graphic environment was reset." That is very annoying, and it's something I never experienced in Xubuntu.

I turned off most desktop effects and will continue paring them down to zero if the bug persists.

Right at the moment, I'm busy hunting for the option that will let me set up keyboard shortcuts. KDE hides this away for an unknown reason. In Xubuntu, I found the option in about a minute. I'm still searching in KDE's wilderness that they call a Settings Manager...

Update  the answer to keyboard shortcuts in KDE is here and, compared to Xubuntu, it's ridiculously complicated. I'm beginning to think that XFCE is much more advanced than KDE. The supposed advantage to KDE is the bells and whistles, but if they cause the desktop applications to freeze at random intervals, then that is not of much use to anyone at all. Reliability is the most important factor in a desktop, bar none. I would rather go with XFCE being 99.9% reliable than with KDE being 99.89% reliable, because that .01% error rate is going to cause a lot of irritation in the long run.

Update # 2 I think I found the answer after about a half hour's Googling. Settings | Shortcuts | Custom Shortcuts actually allows entering in a simple command such as /sbin/shutdown -P now, which after doing a sudo chmod u+s /sbin/shutdown works like a charm. I suppose, in retrospect, the shortcut manager was rather obvious, but I don't find Netrunner's organization of settings obvious at all. What precisely is the difference between the categories "Hardware" and "System"? Actually, nothing. Hardware is the system, and the system is the hardware. Advanced | Other just seems strange. I rather like Windows' way of listing everything when one selects the traditional view of Control Panel. Sure, it's a long list, but it is organized alphabetically, and once one has looked it over a couple times, one can find things quickly. I really don't like the categories in Netrunner's System Settings, because they are unintuitive and not helpful. Xubuntu's settings could use some tweaking too, but they are light-years ahead of Netrunner in terms of ease-of-use. Whoever designed Xubuntu's settings understands. He just understands.

I'll continue using KDE. Perhaps it is unfair to hold it to the same reliability standard as Windows 7. Microsoft, after all, has legions of full-time programmers and testers. I really like Netrunner overall, at least when my browser isn't freezing up on me.

However, next time I'm in the market for a new desktop, I think I'll pass on buggy KDE and go with tried-and-true XFCE. I like a desktop most of all that just works.

Grobbing Around

The Grob is particularly effective against the English. Throws the Englishman for a loopity-loop-de-loop.

[Event "Live Chess"]
[White "anon"]
[Black "igor"]
[Result "0-1"]
[WhiteElo "1451"]
[BlackElo "1354"]
[TimeControl "12|0"]
[Termination "igor won by checkmate"]

1.c4 g5 2.Nc3 Bg7 3.d4 g4 4.e4 d6 5.Nge2 Nf6 6.Ng3 h5 7.Be2 Nbd7 8.Nf5 Rg8 9.Nxg7+ Rxg7 10.O-O c5
 11.d5 Ne5 12.Bg5 Nh7 13.Bh4 Ng5 14.f4 gxf3 15.Bxf3 Ngxf3+ 16.Rxf3 Bg4 17.Qa4+ Bd7 18.Qd1 Nxf3+ 19.Qxf3 Bg4 20.Qf2 Bh3
 21.Bg3 h4 22.gxh3 hxg3 23.hxg3 Qd7 24.g4 O-O-O 25.Kh2 Rh8 26.Rg1 Rxg4 27.Ne2 Rxe4 28.Rg3 Rxc4 29.Qxf7 Rc2 30.Rg8+ Rxg8
 31.Qxg8+ Kc7 32.Qg2 Qb5 33.Nc3 Rxg2+ 34.Kxg2 Qxb2+ 35.Kg3 Qxc3+ 36.Kg4 Qe5 37.h4 c4 38.h5 c3 39.h6 c2 40.h7 c1=Q
 41.h8=Q Qxh8 42.Kg3 Qe5+ 43.Kf3 Qce3+ 44.Kg2 Q5g3+ 45.Kf1 Qef2# 0-1

How to Complain about the USPS

As the United States Postal Service employs many thieves and lowlifes, there is no guarantee that complaining will get one anywhere. However, this site offers information on how to complain against the government-run monopoly when it does its usual bit of stealing, lying and obfuscating.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Netrunner's Closed Forum

Another thing Netrunner has in common with Kubuntu is that it does not have an accessible forum. Registering for that thing is an ordeal, if it is at all possible. I solved all of their little puzzles to prove I'm human, clicked on the email verification, logged in, and was not logged in. No error message--nothing. Their forum is broken, just like Kubuntu's was when I tried it a year ago. I tried Netrunner's forum about six times without any luck. I don't really need the forum, anyway. I was just trying to register to praise the design. Sometimes I err on the side of over-enthusiasm. Perhaps a bit of distance is a good thing.

Linux distros that have functional forums include: SolydXK, PCLinuxOS, Linux Mint, and Ubuntu.

Linux distros that have broken forums include Kubuntu and Netrunner.

If one considers a functional forum to be helpful from time to time, then that will have an impact on the choice of distro. For now, I'm willing to go without, because Netrunner is similar enough to Ubuntu that I can just use Google to answer questions I may have. If I ever run into any kind of difficulty, however, then I'm thinking that Linux Mint KDE might be a good choice for the future.

Netrunner 14.04 is a Nice Strong Cup of Awesome

I haven't the time to compose a proper review, but just a quick note that Netrunner "Frontier" 14.04, 64-bit Kubuntu edition, is out of this world. I thought I'd be tweaking for hours to get the desktop nice and comfortable, but no. Netrunner is a distro that knows what users want and delivers it to them with a nice pretty bow on top.

If you want to check out a modern operating system outside of Microsoft's realm, then be sure to torrent a copy of Netrunner.

I haven't tried the Rolling Release and have no plans to do so--Manjaro seems Greek to me--but I can definitely vouch for the Frontier edition.

KDE is looking mighty good these days on an Intel Haswell Celeron G1820.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

My Current Thoughts about Linux

Ubuntu should be rocky the next few years as Canonical rolls out Mir. I think that's why Linux Mint is avoiding Canonical's non-LTS releases. I don't know what I'm going to do with my Xubuntu 14.04 rigs. Probably in a year or so, I will feel the need to switch distros.

Xubuntu 14.04 is great, but Xubuntu's destiny is dependent upon Ubuntu and the choices that Canonical makes.

I've found SolydX to be fast, lean, and reliable. I may switch over to SolydX in the future.

Xfce has always given me far fewer problems than KDE and that is the main reason I use it. It seems to me that KDE is evolving at a fast and furious pace all the time, and that the desktop never settles down into a stable state. It's radioactive. There is something to be said for conservatism, for stability and predictability. Basically, XFCE does everything I want it to do. It could be a little bit nicer here and there, but I turn on the computer to run applications, not to stare at a desktop. The desktop is a mere conveyance, a road leading to Thunderbird, Firefox, Skype and other tools. The desktop should be reliable first of all and be easy to update.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Liberation

Retirement from the dating game and everything that goes along with is pleasing to me, particularly when I observe the shenanigans that others get up to.

I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my Prince.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Time to Bury Jedit

I buried Jedit today, because the blessed text editor has not been updated in years. I cannot copy and paste text from Jedit to another application without jumping through hoops. I always forget what cryptic command is required. In every other application written in the last ten years, a simple ctrl-C and ctrl-V suffices, but not in Jedit. For that reason, I uninstalled the program and will use the far more advanced Mousepad instead. Mousepad has the capability of copying and pasting without difficulty.

I Have Fixed the Two Desktop Problem in Dungeon Crawl

Ever since I connected two monitors to my workhorse computer, which runs Xubuntu 14.04, I've had difficult playing Crawl, because it wants to span both desktops, placing the center between the screens. Playable, perhaps, but most untidy and not something I can tolerate. In my limited spare time, I have looked high and low for a workaround. Today, I found one. The solution will be found in my updated script file for Linux users.

Update: I found that wmctrl doesn't really work as well as I thought at first. While crawl will confine itself to one screen, the screen is then messed up. The player stats are missing and a lot of textual information gets truncated.

I found an even simpler solution in modifying init.txt in /usr/share/crawl/setting:

### Note: setting window, map or font sizes to '0' implies auto-sizing.
 tile_full_screen      = false
#The resolution on one of my monitors is 1680 x 1080
#Crawl likes to bleed into the next monitor if I set width to 1680
 tile_window_width     = 1670
 tile_window_height    = 1040

Friday, June 6, 2014

Consider all the Options

Most users use Windows merely due to marketing and advertising and the simple fact it is everywhere--in stores, in the media, and on their friends' computers. To climb a tree and look beyond one's backyard into the wider world and see what else is out there requires effort. Not much effort, I'll grant you, but effort. Those who like to consider all the options, and not just the most popular ones, try Linux. Log onto any of hundreds of Linux-oriented web sites to begin the ride. Today, I would recommend trying out Linux Mint Cinnamon, version 17 LTS.

One can't really go wrong with the Linux Mint brand, and it's a good basis to start with. I personally use Xubuntu and SolydX, which are also easy to use, but Linux Mint may be a little bit gentler for beginners in some ways. For instance, Linux Mint has a thriving, well-populated and well-moderated online forum, while Xubuntu defers to Ubuntu's forum. Linux Mint also has the beginner and ease-of-use in mind. I do like SolydX as well, but having to explain updates might make me sound a bit long-winded, and one may be more likely to encounter minor difficulties in that scenario. I have the impression that Linux Mint receives more end-user testing, because the testing process of Ubuntu is augmented by the testing process of Linux Mint's team. Testing minimizes the probability of problems, and whatever problems do arise are probably already known and have workarounds or solutions.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Silk Slippers

To walk in silk slippers suits me. I only wish to get where I am going without attracting unwelcome attention. I keep my life simple, because my work is extremely complicated. If life were complicated also, then how could I be expected to focus upon complicated tasks and complete them in a satisfactory manner and on time?

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Nice Guy

There's nothing wrong with having a reputation for being a nice guy. Some people think it is without value. Some people prefer to boast or use humor or sarcasm. I think that the brand of nice guy is easier to maintain and more effective in the long run. Perhaps it just suits my nature more than the alternatives. The corollary to this rule is that one must be assertive about one's needs and desires in order to achieve them. There is such a thing as being too nice. There is also the danger of people taking advantage of one's good nature. I've become pretty good about detecting cheaters. About the only people that can deceive now are those that have become close to me for one reason or another. They can deceive me, but only because I have allowed them into an inner circle of trusted people. If they do deceive me, they will only do so once. My memory is long and precise in such matters.

Hurricane Season

Remember those huge computers that scientists in white lab coats operated in 1950s and 1960s-era science fiction movies? I dreamt one was in my front yard, and I was trying to understand how to use it, because a hurricane was coming, and the contraption could predict the hurricane's location and severity. When I awoke, I knew exactly what the dream was about. It was obvious to me. Hurricane season, indeed. I only hope that I can sleuth the system in time to deal with the weather.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Bill Maher & Richard Dawkins

I'm not a big fan of Bill Maher. He had Richard Dawkins on his show and could think of nothing better to talk about than Islam. I know enough about Richard Dawkins to know that there are a lot of other subjects, more interesting, more stimulating and more intellectual to talk about than the state of Islamic fundamentalism in the world. Why beat a dead horse? At least Jon Stewart got a little deeper on the Daily Show when he had Dawkins. Bill Maher likes to flog pet subjects to death. I suspect he likes to pose as the liberal that is "standing tall" against America's enemies. In other words, he is playing to the same audience that tunes into FOX news.

The only people who don't like Dawkins are the ones that have never read his books and have only heard of him second-hand.

If Only I Had a Raw Computer

None of my many computers are raw, and more's the pity. Each of them are fully configured with a stable Linux-based operating system. As a distro-hopper, this makes me feel glum. Why can't I hate one of my operating systems anymore? That's the problem with leaving Windows. There's nothing to hate anymore.

Xubuntu is fine. SolydX is good. Those are the only two Linux distributions I use. Their GUI environment, XFCE, is clean, fast, flexible, and customizable, and that's all I want in a desktop GUI.

I'd like to try out Linux Mint Debian Edition Cinnamon, but I don't have a raw computer and can't justify starting all over again. There's an old law I abide by. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I like to leave well enough alone. I've done all the learning I want to do in regard to Linux, and to be honest, there really wasn't much I had to learn. Linux is a lot easier for the end user nowadays than it ever was in the past. I think that anyone that can handle Windows will find Linux to be, if anything, easier to use, mainly because all software comes from one source, and device drivers are installed automatically. If all software comes from one source, then the risk of malware is reduced dramatically. It's too bad that Windows never enjoyed the awesomeness of the software repository, which in my opinion is the greatest feature in Linux.

Why Cinnamon? Just because I miss Linux Mint. I really like Linux Mint's style, and it's hard to put my finger on the reason why, but perhaps the update process has something to do with it. Updating is very important, and not all Linux distros really have that process fully optimized. Some Linux distros have not put enough effort into streamlining the update process. The Debian-based editions are semi-rolling releases which are upgradable into perpetuity at least in theory. Now the Ubuntu-based editions of Linux Mint do suffer from the defect of not being upgradable. A complete reinstall is still required apparently with each new version. Xubuntu requires no such thing, so I don't know what the deal is here, but this is part of the reason I prefer to stay with Xubuntu for the time being, although I have noticed bugs popping up lately when I am doing nothing more exciting than using Firefox or Thunar. If the amount of bugs in Xubuntu reaches a certain level of annoyance, then one weekend when I feel particularly energetic, I will jump ship for LMDE Cinnamon.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Death

Death can be a useful device. The worst that can happen, after all, is death. If one accepts and fully embraces the possibility of dying, to the extent that is possible, then what more is there to fear? Of course, to be fearless, yet not foolhardy, is good, because courage allows one to seize opportunities and do what is necessary in the moment. Courage is the stuff of heroes. Should one be afraid of standing up in front of an audience of ten thousand and giving a speech? Look out into the sea of eyes and imagine them a mere two hundred years from now. Imagine empty eye sockets, skulls, skeletons, because they will all die, as will you. Life is just a brief moment. One might as well weave a good story rather than a bad one. Who wants to watch a bad show, let alone perform in one?

The thought of being afraid becomes preposterous and even amusing in comparison to the absolute certainty of death. Therefore I find death useful as a reminder and a guide in life. I like to go for walks in cemeteries and read the names and dates and mottoes on tombstones and imagine the people that were here before me. I like to carry death around with me, a little shadow imp perched upon my shoulder, scythe in hand, as a reminder of what matters, to help in distinguishing what does not matter. What does not matter is so much of the nonsense in ordinary life that spins our wheels. We are temporary, here for just a moment, and then we are gone, and it is as if we never were. I am not really sure what can be considered important in the cosmic sense. Perhaps principles are important. Decisions are important. At least to us they are important, to our society, and perhaps they are also important to those who watch and listen.

The Supermind

Everyone is wrapped up in their busy personal world. No one would be an exception to that, because it is the human condition. We have one pair of eyes, two ears, one brain, and so on. How often do we give a thought to what our neighbors experience? How often do we look at the "big picture?" There is a danger in getting tunnel vision, in living too close to the fire that consumes.

I find value in imagining the supermind watching all from a high level. In this respect, she is like the god of my ancestors, but is my own conception, independent of ancestral theology, and what I imagine is only an avatar and not the actual entity. She observes and is amused.

Not all may observe events from a remove. Some have chained themselves to the material world of cause and effect. Some conspire with their captors to remain locked within the material world. Theirs may be an interesting world imbued with drama and meaning. If that is so, perhaps they enjoy this drama much of the time. On the other hand, their world may be depressing and bleak. In such instances, it is most helpful to transcend, to attempt a glimpse, however imperfect, of what the supermind perceives. Some have tried and failed. Some are still trying.

Censorship

I do believe in censorship in some limited circumstances. I'm not a full-fledged libertarian (or anarchist?). If the decision were up to me, I would censor news about serial killers, their personal lives and their manifestos. I don't think that is healthy for the collective mind. Killers set a poor example. By killing innocent and random people, they have pretty much disqualified themselves in my book from offering advice on any subject under the sun. I used to read such articles out of morbid curiosity but now I think it is just morbid. I have no more curiosity. On the other hand, perhaps censorship is a blunt instrument. A better technique might be simply shaming those sites that harp on the ravings of madmen. Perhaps social techniques are superior to legal ones.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Lose Your Linux Virginity

Some people are too skittish about losing their Linux virginity. After thirty years using Microsoft products (yes, I remember--and used to love--MS-DOS), this is what I did, and I recommend that you do it too. Just buy a hard drive. They are not expensive. I'll bet an 80-gigger sells for less than $30 on E-bay. Plug that sucker in and install the Linux distro of your fancy. I'm partial to Xubuntu, but that doesn't mean it's right for everybody. Due to occasional bug reports, I am sometimes tempted to try a different distro, but don't want to lose all my configurations, so I don't.

The first couple of days that I spent with Linux were on a fresh new hard drive. Everything worked, as I recall, with the exception of 5.1 surround sound via S/PDIF, and I spent a bit of time tinkering to get that working, but this was a couple of years ago, and I don't know whether I would still have that problem today. The end benefit for me is that I can reinstall an OS any old time I feel like it, and I have four computers operating without any Microsoft licenses and they work just fine. As a matter of fact, my Linux rigs have fewer problems than my one remaining Windows rig. I spent two hours setting up tasks in Windows's confusing, ill-designed Task Scheduler, only to receive errors this morning. My tasks have all disappeared due to a Windows bug, and I have had to spend another two hours entering the tasks, with no assurance that they will still be there tomorrow. With Windows, one pays a premium both in time and money. The Task Scheduler is one of Windows's hidden "gotchas". Linux is just easier to use all around, partly because it is a simple matter to customize every aspect to the user's preferences.

I think it's funny how some people assume that computers begin and end with Windows. It's a naive outlook and comes with a lot of limitations, the first being that provisioning a new rig is going to cost upwards of $75, while experimenting with a pirated Windows in this day and age is asking for trouble. I don't know why people will spend a lot of money buying new hardware and paying for a new Windows and then spend the ten to twelve hours required to get Windows fully configured and customized, but they won't spend an afternoon learning about Linux. I think the reason is similar to why people drink Coca-Cola, smoke cigarettes, and eat candy. Thinking probably doesn't have much to do with the equation at all.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

China Bans Windows 8

I don't think China's decision to ban Windows 8 from government computers has much to do with the end of support for Windows XP. Rather, I think this decision is fallout from the NSA spying debacle, which is very bad news for every tech company in the United States. Can China trust Microsoft after learning that U.S. corporations cooperated with the NSA in spying on people both at home in the U.S. and abroad? The answer is obviously no. The day when people placed full confidence in closed-source systems has passed.

I avoid Windows 8 simply because I find it overpriced for what it offers. I can get the same benefits from Linux, which is free. I also find that Linux boots faster and has fewer technical problems. Device drivers are installed automatically, which means installation and configuration of a Linux system takes about fifteen minutes, as opposed to fifteen hours on Windows. Also, Linux has much less risk of malware. Some people think that pirated copies of Windows are fine and dandy, but then again, some people don't read the news and don't understand what is going on in the world. Anyone who uses a pirated OS is asking for trouble. There's a reason that pirated copies are made available, and it doesn't have much to do with generosity or vanity. Somebody is making money. Just imagine the possibilities.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Don't Look Back

One of the most difficult things in life is to accept the dissolution of a friendship or a closer relationship. When blessed/cursed with an analytical mind, one ponders all the whys and wherefores and tries to determine whether the relationship can be rekindled by some clever strategy, as in chess when one can convert a lost position into a winning one through skillful maneuvers. The answer is an emphatic No, ninety-nine times out of a hundred. People have their own reasons that make perfect sense to them. People are seldom open to changing their position, unless you are gifted with amazing charm and powers of persuasion. I am not. I have found that decisions about terminating a relationship tend to be final and not open for negotiation. Trying to rekindle a dead relationship is like sorcery. It just doesn't happen except in fairy tales. Nevertheless, conscientious people tend to be disturbed by losing friends or family. The verb "losing" illustrates the problem. One feels a palpable loss, as of a limb. Our friends and family to a large extent make up our own self-image, bolster our confidence and give us a reason to get up in the morning. Their absence or their disengagement is felt profoundly.

I have learned a useful trick. I will engage in post-relationship analysis for a long time like any other fool. I will wonder what happened and why and try to determine whether there is any possibility of salvaging whatever remains, begging the question of whether anything remains at all. Perhaps nothing remains that is worth salvaging. I reach the end of every logical path and find that further analysis is pointless. I am simply spinning my wheels, each time arriving at the same conclusion, that I am better off without Mr. X or Mrs. X because of X, Y, and Z, not to mention Q, R, and S. In most cases I find that I have more to offer Mr. X than Mr. X had to offer me, and that therefore they are the loser. This is because I am good and ruled by ethics, while their other friends may or may not be, so they must take their chances and throw dice with their destiny. Perhaps they will be lucky, but their fortune is no longer my concern.

I wish to know what is real and what is not. I do not want to be deceived, but want to know the truth. To stop thinking about people from the past who must remain in the past--a practice also known as brooding--I use a trick. I like to visualize a glass vase falling from a table and shattering on a floor into a thousand pieces. In the case of long-term friendships, the vase is instead a glass chess piece, a King, signifying resignation from a long and complicated game. Sometimes I imagine a baby crying and then ceasing to utter any sound and becoming still and cold. These images position me firmly in reality and remove me from nostalgia and sentimentality. This visual technique helps me to break away from interminable analysis, from pointless and pathetic thoughts. When a player knocks their King down, the chess game is over. That's that. Time to move on to another game.

Some relationships have a firm foundation based upon mutual interests, mutual needs, trust, and real regard and affection. Other relationships are based upon such things as convenience, locality, opportunity, and temporary, material or bodily needs. Those relationships tend to be transitory. Such "friends" come and go, but mostly go. It's good to recognize who your real friends are and stick with them. It's also good to recognize who are really not your friends and never were in the first place. Sometimes it is humbling to realize how many of our assumptions are based upon falsehoods, but the reason is that many people have no problem with lying, or have set up various parameters within their ethical code that justify lying. Such people do not possess a legitimate sense of honor. Such people can't really be friends to anyone at all. Losing such "friends" is really a net plus. One gains a greater amount of trust in one's personal sphere by discarding the deceiving entity or entities or at any rate being rid of them altogether.

Friday, May 16, 2014

China, U.S.

Perhaps America's leaders will wake up, belatedly, to the fact that Russia and China remain the chief geopolitical competitors to the U.S. Iraq and Afghanistan, on the other hand, are not as important, so spending billions of dollars over there probably was not the best and brightest idea in the world, although it enriched some folks in the defence industry. I imagine those folks are busy figuring out ways to repay the country for their windfall making vacation plans in Maui.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Job-Hunting Advice

Good jobs are hard to find, now more than ever. Some retirees just don't understand, because they enjoy the generous pensions of their generation. They keep thinking that 2014 is the same as 1984. Well, guess what, old-timers, times have changed. Jobs are a lot harder to get and keep today than they were in the past. Employers expect their workers to deal with multiple tasks at once, handle technologically complicated tasks, work frequent overtime, and do all this for less money and less benefits and less opportunity than you received in 1984 with your cushy job sitting in an office all day drinking coffee laced with vodka, talking about the football game and managing nothing more complicated than a typewriter and a secretary.

I can relate with today's young people and others who are struggling to find a good job, because I've been there myself, and I have some relevant advice that can get real results.
  1. Visit fiverr.com and pay $5 to have a pro refresh and revise your resume. They probably won't get it right, but they tend to have good ideas that you can then incorporate in your own revision.
  2. Dress up in a suit and go to events and places where you can network with others and potentially find employment. Sometimes visiting places in person can make a difference, and at any rate it serves as a useful experience and confidence-booster. Hunting for jobs on the Internet can be a waste of time, and most of the jobs one finds on the Internet are of the less desirable variety, with high turnover, low pay and low benefits. That's the reason one continues to see the same companies offering the same positions, week after week.
  3. Have business cards printed out at vistaprint.com or another site. I'm not being paid for a plug here, but I did use vistaprint myself, based on the recommendation of a business-savvy gay.
  4. If you don't have enough money to meet your bills, go ahead and drop your home internet and just use internet at Starbucks or the local library for free like other people seem to do. In the U.S., home internet service is overpriced and slow. I'd drop my internet too, if I weren't such a geek.
  5. While you're out there networking and socializing with a wide variety of different people, see whether you can strike a deal where you rent from another person in exchange for doing housework, cooking meals, running errands and answering phone calls. This arrangement is more common than you might think. Many elderly folks have a lot of disposable income but do not have a partner nor anyone that they can trust. That is a sad symptom of our disposable society where friends drop their friends on the silliest pretext, and families tend to be dysfunctional and split up as soon as the kids are out of the house. There are a lot of lonely people in the world, but some of them are willing to pay for a little help around the house. Being trustworthy and honest and having a nice personality means a LOT and is worth a LOT. Being gay-friendly is a plus, as is being plain old friendly to all kinds of people. I know someone who runs errands for an older man, cooks his meals, answers phone calls, performs yard work and cleans house. In exchange, he gets free room and board, car insurance, medical insurance, a car and a small monthly stipend. He also has enough time to work a separate part-time job on the side. I call that a good deal for both sides, don't you?

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Past and Present, Good and Evil

The past is fast, while the present crawls. I can remember a lot of precise details that people hope I have forgotten. If someone says or does something that strikes me as extraordinary, then that is something I place in the vault. I may not say anything at the time. I may not remind them of it ever. It is enough for me to know. I do not need to share, not to them.

I think I am good judge of people and not easy to deceive. In those rare cases where I have been deceived, it has been someone I respected that did the deceiving. I had rendered myself vulnerable by suspending my good judgement. When the deception results in an injury to me, I castigate myself for being gullible. No one likes to feel like a fool.

I am really too hard on myself. Being deceived is not so bad. Nor is it uncommon. Everyone is deceived to an extent. People deceive themselves on a daily basis. Once betrayed, the advantage to me is that the betrayer is exposed. I can be betrayed once, but not often twice. I remember and will handle the betrayer in a different manner than I would someone I admire. My impression of a person decays rapidly after I know that they have been very dishonest with me.

Is trusting and loving worthwhile or not? To never trust or love certainly renders one highly resistant to deception. This seems to be the tact that some souls take. I suppose they are tired of encountering the tedious liars in our world, and so they withdraw into themselves, so as not to risk further injury.

Perhaps love is worth the risk of being deceived and betrayed. The reward for trusting and loving can be found through another who is also capable of the same trait. Backstabbing liars must contend with their own kind after being exposed as such, and there is no honor among thieves. Still, there may not be any cosmic justice in the universe. I'm not really sure on that point. It seems to me that evil-doers get away with their evil, if they are persistent and determined. There are also advantages to good, some obvious and some subtle, and sometimes--don't be surprised--good wins. I feel I have no choice but to be good. I find the mere thought of evil distressing and depressing. Perhaps some people have the stomach for it, but I don't. If evil always wins, then eventually there will be no good left, and then the evil will have to feed upon the evil, and that in itself is cosmic justice.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Deeper Wisdom of "I, Claudius"

There was a moral lesson in "I, Claudius," despite the overall depressing, even morbid storyline. Claudius survived a corrupt nest of snakes--the Roman palace--while the snakes fed upon one another until none were left. He was the survivor. Did he survive through courage? No. Did he survive through cunning? No. He survived by being a fool. To an extent, his was a calculated act, but he was born with a speech impediment and a twitch, minor deficiencies that were little understood in Roman times. They called him a fool, but he was wiser than they. Appearances deceive. Even in our times, there are many things that are misunderstood. The beginning of wisdom, I think, is to accept that everyone is a fool to an extent. The question is only--how much of a fool?

I sympathize with Claudius and even identify with him. I think he was an interesting character. He was the only Roman Emperor of the Julian family really and seriously concerned with intellectual subjects. He was a historian. The rest of them were concerned with power and debauchery. Claudius spent his time among old scrolls and old historians. He could have been a good Emperor if he had only pulled off a splendid succession. Instead, he permitted Nero to follow him, which was unfortunate for Rome. As portrayed in "I, Claudius," the Emperor Claudius died a drunkard, his half-baked plans for succession gone awry. Perhaps Claudius was indeed a fool, a learned fool, but still a fool.

It is human nature to procrastinate, and no one wishes to think of death, least of all their own. So plans that should be made are left unmade, and much is left to random chance or to the greediest and most ruthless of the heirs. Dysfunctional families reveal their stripes most of all when the spoils of inheritance are up for grabs. That is when the ugly truth of familial relationships becomes most apparent. Perhaps it is better to know the truth and never be deceived again. Wisdom and insight have real value. Claudius had his revenge, at least in the fictional world of "I, Claudius," if not the real world. The television show is supposedly based upon a recently discovered tell-all autobiography of the Emperor Claudius. If such priceless scrolls were found, academia would be turned upside-down. Many previous assumptions would be either confirmed or challenged. Of course such scrolls have not been found, at least not yet, but it is a pleasing fantasy of revenge for a sympathetic character, one of the few really good people in a nest of snakes. The revenge of Claudius for the many wrongs done to him was to write about his family. He told their dark and shocking secrets, some of which only he knew. That is an interesting method of revenge, but perhaps not quite so unusual. I think there have been many precedents.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Talking Cat

I used to wonder why my cat made odd, uncatlike utterances sometimes. When pressed by boredom, aggravated by the overwhelming desire to go outside, which is a constant craving, he will make a long, strange howling sound. I used to worry he was suffering from a physical ailment or temporary insanity. Today, I had the inspiration that he is trying to talk. It would be only natural to imitate a human practice that he has observed every day of his life and which brings us humans so many obvious benefits. We are able to communicate and cooperate effectively due to talking, and the cat is intelligent enough to grasp that and to desire this ability for himself. If he could talk, he could express his desires and perhaps even persuade us to do his bidding. He has not enough brain development to manage any words. I have never recognized any syllables.

I wish that such a cat could be bred through successive generations for hundreds of years in a nurturing environment that encouraged the development of intellectual gifts. It would be interesting to observe the end result. Maybe Heinlein's talking cat is not such a far-fetched notion after all.

Penetration

Meditation means different things to different people. To me it means sitting and thinking, occasionally with the assistance of mystical herbs. It is also possible to not think and just do. One is more productive that way, but what is the end result of this productivity? It is possible to be very productive and also wrong. Animals just do.

Richard Dawkins is widely misunderstood. I cannot even begin a discussion about Dawkins with some people, because they have already made up their mind. They have gathered enough falsehoods and exaggerations to inflame their passions against the man. They believe he espouses selfishness and capitalism. They will not listen. Those who do not listen cannot hope to understand. I do not bother discussing things with those who will not listen. They have ceased to possess a thinking mind. They are tools of another's thought.

I agree with Richard Dawkins in believing humans have a golden opportunity, because of our brains, to do other than what our selfish genes want. As Sarah Connor said in "Terminator 2," "There is no fate but what we make." No fate means liberation. Dawkins preaches a message of hope.

We can reflect upon things and try--but not necessarily succeed--to learn what is real and what is false. Everyone has opinions about things, but how often is it that one questions these assumptions? Perhaps a rule of thumb is true up to a certain point, but then the truth unravels upon further examination. Then the assumption must be cut back, reduced to reflect a deeper understanding. Thinking is the way and the light. Doing is of uncertain value without thinking.

What is true? What is untrue? These are difficult questions.

Where is safety? Where is danger? What are the threats, obvious and hidden? Some people never think about these things. From watching "I, Claudius," it is clear that Augustus was not a reflective man. He did not note the threats in his own palace until the threats bore fruit, and at the end for him, they bore literal fruit in the form of poisoned figs. Rome suffered as a consequence. Perhaps Rome was composed of fools. Romans, of course, were always doing, weren't they? Marching this way and that, shedding blood, teaching their neighbors to fear and hate and thirst for vengeance. How much thinking did they do? Rome imported its ideas from other places--Christianity, Hellenistic culture. Eventually, Rome collapsed due to bad ideas. That's the trouble with doing all the time and never bothering to sit down and think.

Avoidance

Negative people try to drag one down into the mud for a wallow. Usually, I find I have a choice. I look down, and there they are, my two feet. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and just walk away. Sometimes life really is that simple.

I, Claudius

"I, Claudius" is an interesting 1976 BBC miniseries with twelve episodes. Its success provided an incentive for the later epic, big-budget "Rome" of the twenty-first century. The 1976 show is not nearly as refined as "Rome," but the acting and writing is at least as good, if not better.

The show is close, I think, to certain historical texts, although Robert Graves did make some assumptions. I wondered whether Augustus was really as gullible as he is portrayed in "I, Claudius." The main facts are that he did indeed imprison his own daughter, and his favorites died one by one under mysterious circumstances. One cannot conclude that he was a good judge of character. I think that Augustus was an abject failure as an Emperor, because he botched his succession. Instead of appointing anyone worthy, he permitted others to choose Tiberius, which was disastrous for Rome. Tiberius was followed by an even worse Emperor, Caligula. These two mismanaged affairs of state very badly.

I think Augustus deserves at least some of the blame for the bad things that happened under his reign. Robert Graves implies that all the evil was the fault of his wife. However, Augustus was the one with real power. I doubt he was as gullible as portrayed in the show. I think he relied upon his wife for advice and intelligent ideas, which were sometimes useful, but he failed to perceive when she was manipulating him for her own ends.

The problem with "I, Claudius" is the loud, screeching theme music that accompanies both the beginning and the end. Whoever came up with that abominable sound should have been fired. A viewer would be prudent to mute the first and last minute of each episode.

Almost every woman on the show breaks down into tears and sobbing whenever there is a crisis. In my experience, this is not how women behave, but this is how women were portrayed in film due to the notions of the men that produced the films. I think that this more than anything else dates the show. I have to wonder why those actresses behaved so. Perhaps the director put them up to it, and the fault was all his. Perhaps the producers felt they had to meet audience expectations. The only really good actress on the show was the arch-villain, Livia, but "cold snake" seemed the limit of her range. At least she didn't burst into tears every time bad news arrived. I really doubt that ancient Romans behaved so, because they dwelt in a world of sudden death, unexplained mysteries, injustice, corruption and cruelty.

Monday, May 5, 2014

I Carried a Pocket Knife

A no-brainer news article points out that victims of bullies are more likely to carry weapons to school. Duh. When a person finds that their safety and well-being are at risk, that person will do whatever it takes to protect themselves. The principal is one of self-preservation.

Long ago, when I suffered from bullying, and the P.E. teacher made clear he would do nothing about it--other than punish me for complaining--I started carrying a pocket knife to school. But the little knife was not enough. I fantasized about carrying my gun and using it against the bully and the P.E. teacher. They deserved punishment for their actions, but on the other hand, I deserved only the best in life, and so I spared them. The same principal of self-preservation that led me to carry a pocket knife led me not to use it.

The desire for vengeance must be balanced with the potential cost. Sometimes, however, people are driven to such extremes that they no longer care about the cost. I fear some of the young killers of today lack the intellectual assets to calculate the costs. They are throwing away the best part of their lives and in some cases killing innocents, which is ugly and senseless and without any sense of honor at all. To harm innocents is to become a bully, to be just like the ones you hate.

The young killer's awareness about the world and about society is so impaired that he cannot predict the outcome of his deeds. I found it helpful to role-play with cold clarity and precision. This is the way to avoid grave errors that cannot be remedied. Role-play. The human animal has developed fantastic powers of imagination, because it is useful to predict the outcomes of actions. One can imagine the different futures arising from different strategies.

Many times, I imagined killing my enemy, the brutal and arrogant bully, using a variety of means. I imagined killing the cruel and heartless P.E. teacher. I imagined killing them both on the same day. I calculated the probabilities of success and the possibilities that something unexpected might happen. I imagined what would happen in the next minute, the next hour, the next day, and the years to come. I did not like what I saw. I also did not like the idea of violence. Vengeance is one thing, but violence is another. Violence is disturbing to me whether I am being hurt or hurting. It goes against everything ingrained in my personality and upbringing. The idea of committing a real crime and receiving the disapproval of others seemed worse to me than the idea of enduring further abuse.
 
Our society is pacifist. The only accepted outlet for violence is war, and wars happen overseas, far away. Most people are like me. We are taught to abstain from violence. There are consequences for people who engage in illegal acts of violence. There is no legal concept that permits premeditated vengeance.

In Viking society, the outcome would have been different. Vikings did not leave much in the hands of karma. Vikings were about vengeance. Vikings were about blood. There is something satisfying about that, something genuine, something that appeals to our animal nature. That does not make it right, but it does explain why the History Channel's "Vikings" is such an entertaining show. It seems to me the show is all about vengeance.

I do think it is important to eliminate bullying in schools, because violence is like a virus. Violence has a way of spreading, and not everyone calls upon their power of imagination to abstain from vengeance. Nor is everyone scrupulous in limiting collateral damage.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A Safe Place

Safe places are a pleasant refuge for the mind, remembered locations or people that have a calming influence. On those occasional nights when I have trouble sleeping, sometimes I remember lunch at a dead friend's house. She and I had been friends a long time, but were not intimate friends, although we could discuss many topics, because she was well-educated and a real lady of the world. She was a Republican, and I have noticed that I do tend to get along really well with some Republicans, which leads me to conclude that politics are not very important in regard to friendships, not nearly as important as personality, style and taste. People of compatible personalities get along well whatever their politics.

We could hang out together at lunch time and just be. Sometimes we went for a walk, and other times we would just eat and then read the paper. I never watched television, although she kept it on all the time, I think because it filled her otherwise quiet house with the noise of other humans. Sometimes I discussed things with her, such as how my studies progressed, my job prospects, medicine and science, and occasionally politics. She was anti-war, for gay rights and for legalization of marijuana. I think she was Republican mainly for tribal reasons or possibly through inertia, because she had been Republican for so long and did not feel like going to the trouble of changing. The Republican party has changed a lot since back in the day. She expressed disapproval of the young upstarts, but identified with the old guard of the party.

She let her boundaries be known, and it was easy for me to respect those boundaries. Is it flirting to set one's dinner plate on the adjoining side of a table next to a friend, instead of setting one's dinner plate ten feet away at the opposite end of a table? A rare time she scolded me was when I did so. She said she did not want me to sit so close. I thought it was a good distance for talking, but I am used to smaller dinner tables, where everybody gathers around. I did like her, and the feeling was strong, even related to love, but I don't think it necessarily translates into anything of a physical nature. Maybe she saw things I did not see. At any rate, once I demonstrated strict observance of such boundaries as she chose to impose, the obstacle was removed. There was no tension of a sexual nature, the kind that poisons relationships between people. I admired her style and her way of looking at things, and I think my good manners is what she liked most about me.

I watched and listened carefully, because she would sometimes indicate things in a subtle manner, very indirect, and I had to be on my toes to know her feelings and predict her thoughts, but I became better with practice. I liked the challenge of that, and her refinement and sophistication endeared me to her. I could talk to her about things. Nothing that was a problem to other people was a problem to her. She interpreted the world on her own terms.
 
She was just always nice, welcoming, friendly, thoughtful, and in a word, safe. I had many lunches at her house, just her and me together, and it was very pleasant. She enjoyed my company as well. I wish I had stayed in contact after school ended, but the idea that she would want to stay in contact seemed presumptuous.  She did not give sufficient encouragement to maintain and nourish the friendship. She probably had similar concerns.

Death has only made her safer, because the memories are impervious to change. So it is to her that my thoughts turn some nights. She was concealing, even then, I believe, the illness that just two years later took her life. I was then studying biology in college. A great irony is that I discussed cancer with her, expressing my amazement at how it uses the cells of the body against the body. I remember she had a poker face, as she often did, devoid of strong expression, but that she searched my eyes. She knew, and she was correct that I would have summoned help, had I known. I would not have let the secret lie untold, but would have contacted her family, because everyone thinks that it is the right thing to do, and I am no exception. Perhaps she had other plans. Perhaps she had an opinion that she knew was unpopular. I do wish I had been intuitive enough to perceive what was then concealed. I would have liked to discuss her decision with her.

Firefox Wants to be Like Chrome

I was using Firefox because it did not look like Chrome.

With version 29, it is plain that Firefox wants to look just like Chrome. Fine. What's the advantage in using Firefox, again?


I think Mozilla has lost its way. If they would develop some real features for Firefox, it might regain market share. Instead, they just continue to make unfortunate design blunders that will drive existing users away from Firefox.

Cluelessness is evident here. Chrome will always be the best Chrome. If you want to become just like Chrome, guess what, users will choose the real Chrome.

I've made a decision.

Whenever I install a new system for my users, I'm going to install Chrome, whether the system is Windows or Linux. No need to mess around with Firefox anymore, because Firefox is just a Chrome wannabe, without the good Flash support.

It puzzles me why a big software company like Mozilla would go out of its way to render its flagship browser ugly and user-unfriendly. But then again, as demonstrated by their recent choice of CEO, clearly those people do not have the best judgement when it comes to strategy.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Elizabeth Warren

I watched the Daily Show with the interview with Elizabeth Warren. She was eloquent and intelligent, with a certain power of persuasion. I believe what she says about the need for financial reform. I would vote for her if she ran for President.

I think it is likely that the next President will be female. It is time, and I think it is the right thing to do. It would give a boost to women. Either Warren or Clinton would make a good candidate for the Democrats.

Speak Softly

For me, anger is an artifact of youth. I was a spirit of fire. As well as being enthusiastic and zealous in love and friendship, I was quick to wrath and slow to cool. In fire, I saw kinship. I am not sure, but I think this was because I encountered so many other spirits of fire in school, in my neighborhood and in my own family. Of course my thirsty young mind drank deeply of their knowledge, ideas and opinions, absorbing their poisons like a plant growing in polluted water, and so I practiced what I learned.

One of the lessons I've learned with advanced age and from the influence of my good friends is to speak softly. Anger still occurs to me as a potential method of handling grievances and disputes, but I feel it is counter-productive, not necessarily to those I'm angry at, but to myself. My heart hates anger and loves to love. I like to love and hate to hate. I don't like getting angry and don't feel that there is much in the world worth getting angry about. Perhaps it is worth getting angry about something that threatens the well-being of a loved one, but such occasions are few. Most disputes I like to handle with a soft touch nowadays. I think of this as getting in touch with the deeper self, the true self, my full potential.

I find that understanding and empathy, which I am lucky to be endowed with, score points with people and gain me more in friends and allies than would anger. I have powers of negotiation that continue to astonish me in their achieved results. Speaking softly with kindness and understanding in one's eyes can influence others and can even change hearts and minds. Anger, by comparison, is a crude instrument, useful only for a limited set of circumstances.

Now the men I knew back in the day scorned empathy and understanding and thought such things were feminine and weak. They thought anger was being a man and could not divorce the idea of manliness from violence, vengeance and wrath. A man must avenge every slight to protect his honor. What a weak notion this honor is, then, if it is so fragile. I think now that those men were weak, because they were not willing to try alternative, effective strategies at getting what they want. They were close-minded, petty, and stupid like animals. Anger got them trouble, that is what anger got them. Some slights are not slights, others can be ignored, and still others can be handled with subtlety, in an indirect fashion.

So now I am no more a spirit of fire but one of air, and I aim to be as light as air.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Opacity Bests Candor

Society has for a long time favored opacity over candor, probably to my detriment. I'm expressive and like to share my opinions, for better and sometimes for worse.

Sometimes when people don't agree with you, instead of debating, they look for angles where they can hurt you. They are also less likely to give the benefit of the doubt. I remember an old supervisor that was a conservative Christian. One day a book of hers went missing. I knew she thought I stole it, because the accusation was in her stare and in her entire body language. But in truth I never did steal anything of hers. I was not even aware of that book. It was just another case where prejudice let her to assume that, because I was not a married heterosexual, I must therefore be a thief as well, among other vices. Only as the years went by did she gradually come to accept that I had few vices. I do have a weakness for candy, as she discovered. I think she turned around and accepted that I was a moral being. But one never knows. That is only a hunch.

The media raked gays over the coals for criticizing Mozilla's choice of CEO, due to his donation to a cause that fights against marriage rights for gays. This was viewed as "hindering freedom of speech" and "undemocratic" and even "not liberal." Sources from the New York Times to the Los Angeles Times defended the guy who doesn't want me to be married.

I don't know why. I guess because they think my marriage isn't important. They would care if their marriages were involved, I'm sure.

The media is playing a different tune today regarding an owner of an NBA team whose ex-girlfriend is shopping around a recording she made of a private phone call. Some girlfriend. I think this illustrates the danger of older people pursuing younger lovers. It's a bad idea, about ninety-nine times out of a hundred. There may be exceptions, but not that many, I think.
 
In his private conversation, he expressed racist views. And yes, racism is bad.
 
I think that the difference in the media's reaction between this case and the one involving gays is very telling. On the one hand, a guy wants to interfere in the private lives of gays, and donates $1,000 to that end, as a matter of public record. On the other hand, a guy expresses his racism to his girlfriend in what he thought was a private conversation, and he should be forced to sell his team because of that. This is crazy.

I probably wouldn't want to know Sterling's opinions on gays. I would imagine they are just as negative as his opinions on blacks. The manner in which his views became public seems underhanded. If everyone's thoughts became known, I think no one could ever get along, because offensive thoughts occur to everyone at some time or another.

People need to be very careful what they say over the telephone nowadays. I bet the only reason Sterling was ensnared is because he's a clueless old man who hasn't updated his knowledge of technology, let alone his understanding of culture. He's still living in the 1950's. My preference would be to let him be unless he really does something, like donate money to a racist organization or say something on the record.

I have known racist old folks in my day. They are not going to learn a lesson or improve or change. I don't think there is value to be gained in digging them out of the woodwork and trying to punish them or make an example out of them. They may even win sympathy based upon poor health and poor mental status. Sterling was stupid but ultimately, his private chat only harmed his own interests, not those of anyone else.

TIME Magazine Kisses the Koch Brothers' Behinds

The latest issue of TIME (May 5th/12th, 2014) includes a puff piece praising the Koch brothers as "patriots" who apparently crap gold bricks and wear halos twenty-four hours a day while flying around the country solving crime. That's the issue that motivated me to call up and cancel my subscription.

I've always hated TIME, and I don't know why it started showing up in my mailbox again, but I do plan to call in and cancel whatever subscription someone gave me. If it is free, I still want to cancel, because I do want their subscriber base to be reduced by one.

TIME offers right-wing propaganda, advertising disguised as news, and pure poppycock. It is pure garbage and never spends more than a few moments in my possession before winding up in the proper receptacle.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Justice: Hire More Geeks

+1 to the American justice system for being pretty fair, although biased toward the rich like everything else.

-1 to the American justice system for being slow as molasses and inefficient.

I drove a hundred miles and spent six hours in court today just to get a chance to present documentation that proved that I was innocent of a misdemeanor charge, as indeed I was. By twiddling my thumbs for six hours, I saved about $130. Was it worth my time? Yes, based upon my current income. Could I have improved the efficiency of the courtroom? Yes, by thinking about their problem of chronic inefficiency for a single day, I could have made changes that would have increased their processing speed 500 - 1000% at little or no cost. I saw a lot of court employees, about ten as a matter of fact, standing around doing little or nothing but looking bored and counting the minutes to quitting time. Those cannot be happy employees, because time slows down when one has nothing to do. Employees generally prefer to be doing something productive with their time, or at least that is my general impression. They could have been busy gathering information from people. Simple communication with defendants would reduce waiting time dramatically and allow the court employees to go home earlier. I do not know why I had to appear in court to begin with. I could have faxed or emailed my documentation to court employees and saved myself a trip, if they had offered that option. But the court system has remained about fifty years behind the times for no reason other than mere incompetence on the part of the people running the system. This has to be the fault of the Republicans, who are always cutting budgets and never willing to invest a penny in government. Since poor people are the main ones to wind up in the court system, the Republicans let the court system rot from neglect, because they hate the poor.

The judge played a video with a speech by another judge that said there would be no negotiation of fines, which means no mercy for the poor, many of whom paid fines of over $400 for such offences as "improperly equipped vehicle," whatever that means.

About two hours after I took my seat, a guy dressed in an expensive suit walked into court. He looked like either a lawyer or a politician. I sat on the front row and watched him carefully. He breezed past the clerks and court officers and talked with the solicitor without waiting his turn. It was obvious he was connected. The judge heard him next and began speaking in a very soft tone, but I heard enough. "I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances," the judge said, before shaking hands with the defendant. He pled guilty to the same offence I waited six hours to prove myself innocent of. Instead of paying $130 like everybody else, he paid half that amount. Then he said bye-bye to the judge and walked out. No wait or worry for Mr. Expensive Suit. Everybody else, that is, those who have to work for a living, had to sacrifice the mandatory 6 to 9 hours of time, whether guilty or innocent, and pay the full fine if guilty.

Weed and Heart Health

Recent media reports link marijuana use with cardiovascular disturbances. NORML exposed this media brouhaha for what it was, much ado over nothing. The media will go out of its way to print anything to make marijuana look bad. It reminds me of the day when the newspapers printed lies against gays. It is because of ignorance and the presence of an agenda among the media owners.

However, I have found that cannabis does increase heartbeat. The same holds true for coffee or any substance with caffeine. Too much can cause accelerated heartbeat and other problems. Too much marijuana, or rather too much of the active ingredient, THC, can have a similar effect. Moderation in all things is key. Some people, especially those with addictive personalities, have trouble moderating their intake of substances. They suppose that if a little bit is good, then a lot is going to be great, but that is not necessarily the case.

I secretly dreaded the mainstreaming of marijuana, because I felt that there would be reports of addictive people overindulging in marijuana, as so many other substances are overindulged in. There are countless cases of people drinking themselves to death, overdosing on pills, and the list goes on, and as marijuana increasingly becomes legal and prescribed medicine, there will be cases of people misusing that substance as well. It seems everything under the Sun, some humans find a way to misuse, and then there are people who want to pass a law to ensure they don't misuse, and then some people break that law, and a whole cycle of non-productive nonsense and craziness ensues.

No substance is without potential and theoretical danger. Too much of anything tends to be harmful. I am a bit suspicious of the media's motives in pointing out rather obvious "pitfalls" in marijuana. If one sits on a bale of marijuana and lights it up, then one will burn to death. If one were force-fed a kilogram of dry marijuana, one would suffocate. If one smoked reefers nonstop for twenty-four hours, probably ill effects would arise there as well. These things are rather obvious. There is an expectation in our society that an adult will exercise a certain amount of common sense and not engage in foolish, ill-advised actions.

If one is unfamiliar with a substance, then it is a good idea to expose oneself to it gradually in small amounts. One should be aware of potential side effects and learn methods of countering them. By the same token, doctors prescribe small amounts of opiates to new patients, only ramping up after the patient grows accustomed to the drug. Certainly no one maintains that marijuana is worse for heart function than opiates, which can stop a beating heart! Indeed, one popular method of suicide is to overdose on opiates. Marijuana is scorned by suicides, because it has no ability to kill.

Where marijuana is concerned, the occasional "bad trip" can be countered by eating. I think the increase in appetite is the body's way of countering the influence of marijuana, and the more one eats, the less "high" one feels. Drinking water also helps. Some bad trips can simply be slept off. I have had many bad trips in my day, usually of the paranoid variety, because I am the type of person who analyzes, which is to say I'm a worrier, which made me a rather good engineer, because I anticipate problems rather than waiting for them to pop up. Marijuana offers a journey into the shadow world of the spirit. Bad trips are not without merit. Sometimes a bad trip accompanies an insight, a moral lesson that otherwise may not be received. Sometimes I view an unpleasant experience as divine direction to cease use, to go on a vacation from marijuana for a period. I am a strong believer in periods of abstinence and clarity. I like to emerge and reattach to the material world and feel its intensity all anew.

Doctors Have It Rough

I read today that the Afghan security guard who killed three American doctors went into surgery at the same facility after the shoot-out. I imagine the dead doctors' colleagues were the ones who fixed him up. What a rough job that must be, psychologically. On the one hand, it is only human nature to want to strangle the guy that killed your friends (or even coworkers/acquaintances). On the other hand, doctors swear the Hippocratic Oath and must treat good and bad alike.

I really cannot relate with the Taliban. They seem determined to project an image of absolute evil. Targeting doctors is weak, barbaric, and the list of negative adjectives goes on without end. The last person that should ever be targeted in any conflict is medical staff. They are the caregivers to humankind.

If the Taliban had the sense God gave a goose, they'd buckle down and try to rebuild their country instead of fighting a pointless war trying to turn back the clock to the Middle Ages.

On the other hand, it may be that just enough Afghans are so foolish they actually support the Taliban and that the Taliban will one day return to power. That may be the case. Afghanistan may be the designated septic tank of the world where all the bad things happen. But should we be pouring a lot of money into that place? No. Money down the drain.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

A Choice of Political Parties for Gays

Yes, Republicans, it would be nice as a gay person to have a choice of political party. For my whole life, I've felt like I did not have a choice. I had to vote Democrat, because Republicans were always against the gays and said a lot of ignorant nonsense. Just look up Jesse Helms if you want to see what gays of my generation encountered from the Republican party. What hateful things that man said about things he did not understand!

If Republicans change and become inclusive of gay people, I will continue voting Democrat, because I'm a liberal anyway. But that is not the case with all gays, so the Republicans stand to pick up some support here and there. Perhaps some gays won't bother going to the polls if both parties are gay-friendly. I would estimate about one in five gays would vote Republican if they felt like they weren't voting against their own interests. Gays tend to be more liberal due to our minority, outsider status, or maybe we just have found friendlier folks among the liberals. I relate more to liberal positions, because they seem based more upon reason and compassion, two values that I hold dear to my heart. Reason leads to compassion, because compassion has many benefits, some obvious and some subtle.

A Planned Departure

An elderly man's meticulously planned suicide almost went OK, but the one area where he erred was in using a substance that alarmed the first responders and his neighbors. I am not really familiar with substances like potassium cyanide, but it may be that there was concern over the fumes. Of course, using poison is better than using a firearm, the typical choice for men, because after a bullet exits a gun, there's no telling where it might ricochet, and the mess is unpleasant, not something anyone should be forced to clean up. Personally, I think the man made a creative political statement as his last act. It was creative in the sense he took precautions not to harm anyone and did not harm anyone besides himself. He must have had a flair for the dramatic. It is a very unusual case.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Former Justice Stevens

Former Supreme Court Justice Stevens, now 94, had a good interview with PBS recently. I agree with his proposals, at least to the extent he described them.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Happiness is a New Version of Linux OS

Today I'm happy, because SolydX laid its golden egg for April the 15th, and I made pudding with it, updating two of my computers to the latest and greatest that Linux has to offer.

I don't know whether Windows users can grasp the happiness I feel. A new version of the SolydX OS is like a new version of Windows, except I don't have to reinstall or reconfigure anything. Imagine going from Windows XP to Windows 7, while keeping all of your configuration. Nice, eh? Now imagine you do it for free and legally. Get the picture? Linux is nice. Just--nice.

My other favorite operating system, Xubuntu, is due to lay a new golden egg today. I'm watching that hen with eagle eyes, waiting for the egg to pop out, so I can crack it open and make omelettes on two of my computers.

Come on, chicken. I just checked DistroWatch--no dice. Come onnnn! Lay that egg!

What's nice about Xubuntu's upcoming release is that it will be an LTS, a Long-Term Support release, good for many years to come. That makes it even more special than usual. Anyone who is curious about Linux should definitely choose this moment to make a leap of faith into the wonderful world of free operating systems. The payoff will be even greater than usual.

If you're a Linux neophyte, then begin your journey with Xubuntu. I like Xubuntu's "keep it simple, stupid" philosophy. Through their relationship with Canonical, they access timely security updates that make the paranoid less so. Also, Xubuntu holds hands during installation and updates, and even though I know a thing or two in my advanced wizardry, I do appreciate the hand-holding, because it saves me time and bother. The only downside to Xubuntu is the unfortunate choice of the two-panel approach, which SolydX avoids. I don't really grasp the need for a panel at the top and a panel at the bottom of the desktop, but this can be tweaked away. Canonical's feverish innovations in their Software Manager have also caused new bugs, but there is always Synaptic Package Manager to fall back on if the Software Manager misbehaves.

If you're a computer wiz, give SolydX or SolydK a spin. Try SolydX if you have old hardware or SolydK if you have newer hardware. My rule of thumb is that if you have 4 gigs of RAM, give SolydK a try, because you might like it and certainly you have more than enough memory. If you have less than 4 gigs of RAM, go with SolydX. You may prefer its agility and solidity. I chose SolydX mainly because I prefer a conservative, solid desktop with few issues. KDE tends to be more cutting-edge and enterprising, aggressive in developing new features.

04/18/2014 Update:


My Xubuntu upgrade from version 13.10 to version 14.04 functioned flawlessly and with minimal user interaction, making for a stress-free, calm and relaxing evening! In-place upgrade of an existing version is an awesome feature that makes the Ubuntu family more competitive against other Linux distributions. Never before have I seen as effortless an upgrade as tonight--certainly not in the Windows world, but not in the Linux world either.

On my second Xubuntu computer, I left the updater running overnight. When I checked on it the next morning, xscreensaver had frozen on a particular picture, and the computer was unresponsive. I powered the machine off, rebooted, and ran the updater again, and it picked up just where it had left off. Impressive! That shows that a significant amount of testing and refinement has gone into the installation and update process and reaffirms my confidence in Xubuntu.

I recommend Xubuntu to users fleeing the realm of Windows. Xubuntu is easy to use--no degree in computer science required! As a matter of fact, I maintain that Xubuntu is easier to use than Windows, because there is far, far less probability of picking up a malware infection in Xubuntu, for a lot of different reasons. Avoid the trojan-infested pirated copies of Windows and install a free, legal and open-source Linux distro instead.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Marijuana Brain Abnormalities

The only "brain abnormalities" are found in the marijuana-less minds of the media. The U.S. media does not understand basic science reporting. The newspapers and television stations have sold their souls to the alcohol companies, and the alcohol companies are scared to death that Americans will wake up to the fact that weed is better for you than booze. They stand to lose billion$ and will lose billion$ when the country wakes up from its infatuation with fungi feces.

Articles that portray cannabis in an objective and scientific light may be found at NORML.

Weed costs next to nothing to produce, is non-toxic and non-addictive, is self-renewable, removes carbon from the air, produces many useful products besides marijuana, and has a pharmaceutical history spanning thousands of years, which is why we know for a fact that weed is safer than aspirin.

Alcohol is the toxic waste product of microorganisms feeding upon death and decay, the bringer of madness and ill health. Weed is better than alcohol by any measure one could imagine. The living plant harnesses energy from the Sun to produce a substance that makes humans feel high. What weed does not do includes the whole list of negative attributes that belong to alcohol. It does not cause addiction, it does not cause insanity, it does not make the non-violent violent, and it does not harm its user.

There was never, at any time, a rational motive for making marijuana illegal. A return to sanity would be marked first of all by the legalization of marijuana for all purposes. However, human society is known for many irrational acts, such as war, crime, self-harm and collective self-harm, including pollution of the environment. The laws against marijuana seem almost insignificant by comparison to the many other signs of craziness. What is needed is a saner and more rational world that learns to love understanding and wisdom and reject lies and corruption.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Unconscious Gun Owners

A new wrinkle in the modern age are unconscious gun owners. They're asleep, in fear, in a trance or otherwise not responsible when they pull the trigger. They want to have their guns, kill their victims and remain free to kill again and again and again, because they really love killing, and that's what they intend to do with their lives. Why else would someone be completely obsessed with firearms? A mind that hates gravitates toward the tools of hatred, methods of killing and harming perceived "enemies."

Oscar Pistorius says he didn't consciously pull the trigger four times when he killed his girlfriend, splattering her brains all over the bathroom. So, he shot through the closed bathroom door because, I don't know, he was in a trance or something? Yeah, right. I'm sure half the people on death row were in a trance or something.

Too often, the rich get away with murder, rape, and other crimes that would send a poor person to jail for a very long time. Justice is selective. The law hates the poor and loves the rich. If you're poor, you're already guilty, the question is how many years do you get. If you're rich, you're innocent. One way or the other, the judge is going to make a special accommodation for you, because you suffer from "affluenza" or were upset or impaired or sleepy-headed at the time of the crime. Go back home, take a nap, and kill or rape again.


All defendants should have a court-appointed defence counsel, a public defender chosen at random, and there should be no private defence lawyers allowed at all. Expose the rich to the public defender system and let them experience its tender mercies. I think if that rule were implemented, overnight one would see vastly increased funding for public defenders. Their salaries and numbers would increase, while their caseloads would decrease.

Bloomberg's new gun control group is good news for the U.S. and reminds me that some of the super-rich have super-consciences and really care about the destiny of the world they live in.

Monday, April 14, 2014

I Stopped Breathing

I had a dream last night that I had stopped breathing. I actually did, too, which woke me up.

In my dream, I was six years old again and walking to the bus stop in winter. Standing there were the bullies, a boy four years older than me and a girl five years older than me. Both were twice my size. They were never satisfied unless I was crying or otherwise distressed and made it their mission in life to ensure these things from Monday to Friday.

I remember them now, but I doubt they remember me at all. I can recall both their first and last names, their physical appearance, and the address of their homes. That's something that bullies don't tend to think about, the possibility that their victims grow up and remember. Bullies don't tend to do much thinking.

It was unfortunate, growing up with such people for neighbors and schoolmates, people whose only concern in life was whether they were big and strong enough to lord it over someone smaller. Part of the misfortune was the opportunity cost. If their spaces had been occupied by people that were interesting and friendly, I might have made a good friend. As it was, they were completely worthless, offering nothing except abuse. They were a waste of space.

As I grew bigger, these people stopped being bullies, because they did not have the size advantage anymore. Bullies are cowards, after all.

The girl changed. I met her once and she was unusually polite. I asked her why she was acting so different now, and she said she had matured. She may have even apologized for past behavior, but I don't remember. She played the repentant monster, but she was still a monster. I could tell. There are smiles of happiness, and then there are smiles that serve as a mask to conceal what is beneath. She had shown her true self to me long ago, and I remembered.

The boy was always the silent type and remained so. The only thing he was interested in was his skateboard. I never saw much difference between him and the skateboard. Anytime he was asked a question, there was a delay as he calculated the minimum number of syllables needed to provide an answer. Usually a grunt or a shrug or obscenity was the pinnacle of his expression. He had seemed scary when I was little, but part of the scariness was his size and reptilian personality.

These are the monsters that lurk in the mind and every once in a while come out at night.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Politicians Just Don't Get Technology

I'm a fan of Kathleen Sebelius, because a few years ago, she posted a video on Youtube that reached out to gay teens as part of the "It Gets Better" campaign, and in general, she seems well-spoken. She's a good speaker. Technology may not be her particular strength, but there are a lot of people out there like that, including people in positions of power in Congress. I doubt half the senators or representatives understand Jack about the Internet or computers, and I'm pretty sure Obama hasn't much of a clue of what is going on. Certainly the Republicans are clueless. The Republicans want to let ISPs throttle the bandwidth for sites like Netflix and Youtube. ISP's are the reason that the U.S. ranks lower than Uruguay when it comes to bandwidth speed. They cripple the U.S. economy, are clear and obvious monopolies, and should be nationalized, because the government could do a better job at Internet service than the monopolies are right now. If the government offered Internet service, it would be $25 a month, ten times faster than it is now, and we wouldn't get those little advertisements in the mail every week. The same logic applies to postal service. Because the government delivers mail, a letter can be sent across the country for less than fifty cents. If a private company delivered mail, the cost would be $10.

The trouble with politicians is that they surround themselves with people who know politics. All their friends, their family, their allies--politicians. But when it comes to a web site or any matter having to do with technology, what is needed is a good, old-school, experienced geek like myself. Not some young hacker, but somebody who has supported complicated systems on a 24/7 basis for over ten years. Somebody like me, in other words. I'd be delighted to consult over the phone and via video conference on a 24/7 basis and would not expect that much in the way of salary, other than to pay my bills and keep myself together and in chuckles.

Alas, this is all a pipe dream. I'm stuck in a small town working outside my profession for peanuts, and the politicians are stuck in Washington surrounded by people who give them poor advice based upon political factors. The politicians will continue to make stupid, zombie-brain mistakes that derail their political aspirations, and I will continue to be without a career.

Al-Nsa?

The NSA's Heartbleed bug that complicated e-commerce for everybody is just a recent example of the NSA's determination to destroy the U.S. economy by any means possible. Whatever the NSA is doing, I think the ends do not justify the means, and whoever is running that outfit could not reason his way out of a paper bag. I feel less secure, not more secure, by all the things the NSA does. It seems to me to act more like an enemy of the U.S. than a proper government agency. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

I Am Not a Free Teacher

I did not volunteer to be the free teacher of the Internet. When strangers leave profane comments, I delete. I can think of about twenty reasons that profanity is a bad idea and no reasons why it is a good idea. The English language is wonderfully complex, with many choices of words available. I suggest that individuals with limited vocabulary study hard to expand their vocabulary and browse a couple of books on etiquette. On the other hand, don't take my advice. Ignore it. Let life be your teacher...

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The Boston Bomber

I was reading today more about the Boston Bomber and his victims. It seems to me that he and his brother were cowards, going for easy targets in the U.S. which never once did any harm in his native land of Chechnya. Had he an ounce of courage, he would have attacked Russia, or more specifically Putin, the author of so many of Chechnya's miseries. But no, Russia was too tough for him, so he came over to the West and lived the easy life on taxpayer's dollars until such time as he blew up a bunch of innocent, happy people who had never done him or his people any harm at all. His cause: absolute evil. His target: good people. It's hard to argue against the death penalty for such scum. Perhaps we do need the death penalty for cases like his. His body can be converted into fertilizer and used to nourish trees and landscaping near the site of the bombing, about the only use left in him.

Too often, criminal scum lash out at innocent victims. There may have been people who had done them wrong in the past. Instead of targeting those people, the criminal scum instead join them and become part of the team, hurting others. It is almost like a virus of criminality spreading through the human race, looking for people who have not yet been infected, who have not been brought low by misery and misfortune. Happy people are targeted. Those who are already miserable seem to be left alone.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Listen to Other People

One of my saving graces is I listen to other people. I've always been that way, interested in the opinions and ideas of others. If someone else has a bright idea, never do I find that threatening or annoying. Instead, I'm pleased. I like nothing better than to take other people's ideas and run with them. And before the Ayn Rand crowd points the finger and calls me a "second-hander," I'd like to point out everybody's a second-hander that uses a computer, car, or phone, period, case closed. If you get around with only the things you came up with yourself, then you must be a wild man out in the woods. More power to you, but I doubt you're going to set the world on fire anytime soon.

I never did warm to Ayn Rand's arrogance in declaring that a tiny minority of people are fountainheads to be exalted and revered and everybody else is disposable garbage. People are fountainheads to varying extents, but probably no one is original more than 1% of the time. The vast majority of ideas are pilfered, and anyone who doesn't accept that is not living in the real world. Even the great minds like Edison stole ideas from gents like Tesla, from what I understand reading The Oatmeal. Give genius its due, but don't go overboard. Everybody deserves a place at the table, decent working conditions, good times, and good health. Such a policy preserves the peace.


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Manual Labor, Family

As a young man, I worked a variety of jobs. The ones I had the most problem with and lasted the least amount of time were the physical ones that required lifting or standing for five or more hours at a time. Maybe my lack of stamina was caused by Mitral Valve Prolapse. I don't really know for sure, but I report to work early, want to work, and want to get things done in the right way. Good intentions don't account for much, however.

Life has thrown me many tests that called upon my weakest traits. I was a short-order cook for a fast food restaurant, a bag boy (they call them customer service associates now, I believe), ditch digger, delivery truck packer, and apartment maintenance technician. None of these jobs I did well in. I didn't crash and burn. I got along reasonably well with everybody, but was only mediocre in performance. I didn't seem to have enough get-up-and-go. I took to eating candy at work for extra energy, but that only went so far.

Delivery truck packing was the worst. I got up at 2:30 AM in the morning, reported to the delivery facility by 3:30 AM, and packed trucks from then to, I believe, 8:30 AM. My back was killing me all the time. One day, I called in and told the boss I quit. He seemed quite angry, but I didn't see any other options with the back pain I was experiencing. Curiously, he said that in order to pick up my last paycheck, I had to report to his office and answer a questionnaire. He said this was a corporate requirement. He explained it as a safeguard to ensure I was not going to claim discrimination or hostile working conditions. I had claimed nothing of the sort. I think the real purpose was to educate him on how to weed out applicants like me sooner. He asked me why I was quitting, whether I felt I was discriminated against, what the problem was, and so on and so forth. I think it's fairly obvious I'm thin and don't have a lot of meat on my bones, and that's about the only criteria he needed to consider during the application process. Anyone with a clear pair of eyes could see loading a truck with heavy packages was not my particular strength. Perhaps he should have adjusted his bifocals instead of playing twenty questions with my paycheck.


As a college student, I worked as a ditch digger for my uncle. He paid me $10 an hour, which was a pretty good wage for unskilled labor back in the day and, sadly, still is, twenty years later. Wages have not changed much in twenty years, although prices have. My uncle was a great guy, a smart executive. I liked him very much and wanted to please him. I did a lot of digging with a shovel and moving earth with a wheelbarrow. I also clipped hedges. But again with the back pain. After a couple weeks, I quit that job, too. My uncle said that he thought I should get some sort of job using my mind, not my body, and of course, he was right.

The last interaction I ever had with my uncle was with that job, but I think part of that is that my uncle and father never got along. The job was a highly unusual interaction with my extended family. I think my uncle perceived I had some sort of potential and for that reason extended an invitation to work. Or maybe he just really needed someone to dig those holes. His son wasn't doing it. His son drove thirty miles to pick me up to do it, and then he would drive off and I wouldn't see him again. As for my uncle, he suffered from back pain himself and didn't do any digging, either. He told me he thought I could do it because I was younger. Being younger helps, for sure, but it's not everything.

My extended family was never the "stay-in-touch" kind. Not only do we not have reunions, but it has been a good twenty years since I've seen any cousins, uncles or aunts, and I expect to go to the grave with the status quo. No sort of bond was formed early in life, so that's that. Geographical distance and my being gay are additional factors that cement the separation. Family can be pretty difficult for a gay kid. If he is very effeminate, then possibly he can bond with female cousins, but my female cousins were teenaged and only interested in hanging out with their friends and with boys their age. Anyway, I'm not very effeminate and am not the type of gay that can establish instant rapport with women. I don't think I ever had a conversation with a female cousin that lasted more than two minutes. Because I was a boy, I was expected to play with the one male cousin that was my age, but he wanted to play rough and mean and do things with guns. He got in trouble often. He wasn't interested in any of the things I was interested in, such as board games or books. The other cousins felt they were too old to associate with me, probably because they were doing illegal drugs and hanging around loose women and didn't want me to rat them out. Eventually, we lost touch altogether, and I think they were the main ones that opted for that outcome.

When I got married, it never occurred to me to suppose that any one of them would be the slightest bit interested in my life, so none received wedding invitations. This seems to be quite common in modern society, although my readings have indicated to me that the past was different, that families were closer and that they tended to help one another. But I suppose a lot depends upon the family and the people that make it up. Life's a roll of the dice. The only people who attended my wedding was the married straight couple that drove us up to the free state and a gay friend of that couple. No one related to either of us nor any of our close friends attended our wedding.
techlorebyigor is my personal journal for ideas & opinions