Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Power of Melatonin

For a long time, my body's been moanin' for melatonin. Last year, I announced an experiment whereby I would attempt to sleep in a completely dark room for 7+ hours in order to allow my body to manufacture sufficient quantities of melatonin. For some reason, according to my sources on Wikipedia and elsewhere, darkness is required, but the body is not a psychic and is not in tune with the Moon, so you can fool the body by simply wearing a patch over the eyes during the daylight hours. Apparently there are photosensors in our retinas independent of rods and cones. I heartily recommend the purchase of an eye patch for anyone who works the graveyard shift and needs to sleep during daylight hours.

I have had several weeks of full, blissful sleep wearing my eye patch and I do indeed feel a difference, possibly from the increased amounts of melatonin. I suspect I do have more melatonin, because my circadian rhythm is much more pronounced. No longer is it simple (or mandatory) for me to stay up late at night, past 3 AM. Instead, I find I can get to sleep at midnight without much difficulty. Also, I wake up feeling refreshed and reinvigorated.

I was talking to an unemployed gentleman the other day who informed me he had to quit factory work because the factory had a mandatory swing shift of two weeks 8 AM - 7 PM followed by two weeks of 11 PM to 10 AM. Anyone whose productivity declines is reprimanded or fired.

It is physically impossible to adjust to alternating sleep schedules that change in such a drastic manner on such short notice. Swing shifts are simply sadistic, no two ways about it, a means of humiliating and beating down the working class, and I think that factory owners should be required to alter their sleep schedule as well.

There is no logical reason to have a swing shift. Personally, I would be willing to work either day shift or night shift, but not both; the human body needs to adjust to one or the other. It is possible to adjust to the graveyard shift through the use of an eye patch and a soundproof bedroom. People with children should work the day shift, while single, childless and retired people can work the night shift and be paid a small premium to do so ($1/hour). There are plenty of single people in the world and it should not be difficult to fill a night shift. If I were a factory worker given the choice, I would volunteer for night shift simply because it is cooler during the summer and pays slightly better.

Business owners should make modest and reasonable attempts to create a  nurturing, positive working environment for their employees. Those that fail to do so find their businesses highlighted in the media for the wrong reasons. I am willing to wager that many cases of workplace violence or labor discontent could have been avoided by the simple and cheap expedient of rendering the interior design more hospitable to human beings. Business owners should consult with an interior designer, someone that knows how to create a positive and nurturing space. Decisions that are made on the purchase of furniture, decor, and lighting will persist for decades, and typically the wrong decisions are made with long-lasting and invisible consequences. Valuable employees leave the company, and the manager is scratching his head wondering why, because the troll is clueless about the ugliness of his cave. One should take pride in his work and his workspace.

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